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MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

281 replies

AmeliaMumsnet · 16/01/2017 11:58

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

Standard Insight T&Cs apply

Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
Ratbagcatbag · 16/01/2017 12:45

Oh god. Best saying ever is that I was brilliant parent until I had kids!!

My main one was that my baby would sleep through from 6 weeks old and I would do controlled crying or whatever to get it to happen (not at 6 weeks but older if needed).

Reality, couldn't bear her crying, finally slept through at 22months. Engaged a gentle sleep trainer, have up and down days and at nearly 4 we still don't get full nights sleep!! Oh well. I just go to bed early.

The other one was that you'd fall in love the moment you gave birth, reality was felt like I'd been hit by a train, I was knackered and emotional. It took me around 4 months to start having feelings of love. They are so entrenched now, but in those early days I was worried I was a crap mum.

TheTantrumCometh · 16/01/2017 13:29

That I was going to breastfeed and though it may not be straightforward I would overcome any obstacles and I would breastfeed. After a PPH and producing absolutely nothing for over three weeks (I'd given up long before then), along with other, more personal, complications, I was definitely taken down a peg or two!

RatBag your first sentence is so true!

NettleTea · 16/01/2017 15:48

The biggest joke ever is that 'it wont change me, I will just the baby around my life'
hahahahahahahahahahaha
14 years on and we are just about managing to see pre-children friends again..........

ifigoup · 16/01/2017 15:52

I was only going to use cloth nappies. I still want to, but I can't find a way to stop them leaking, so disposables it is.

oceanjanie · 16/01/2017 15:55

Ha! My pre-birth ideal was strolling proudly along with pram and sitting in sunny cafe gardens with my sleeping / happily cooing baby and my adoring husband. My post-birth reality was baby hated the pram and my nerves were in shreds every time he cried - and indeed, the rest of the time - so couldn't even get as far as a cafe before I had to bolt for home in a panic. Also even had I been able to get there I couldn't sit comfortably for over two months post-birth!

Sammyislost · 16/01/2017 16:50

Before: My son will never play with guns.
After: My son now has 2 boxes full of guns. He loves guns.

Before: My son will eat healthy meals every day
After: yes, sure, you can have chicken nuggets and chips, again!!

asuwere · 16/01/2017 17:11

Before: judging young kids in McDs; I would only do homemade food for my children.

After: we have a Christmas tree wholly decorated with McDonald toys! BlushSmile

CopperPan · 16/01/2017 17:31

Pre-birth we moved into a new home, I cut out inspirational pictures from home furnishings catalogues, made a mood board and thought I'd always keep it tidy and organised. After kids, I've given up on the tidiness and organised, the furnishings are a mix of Primark cushions covered in poster paint, and there's a pile of unfiled letters next to the sofa!

ButterflyOfFreedom · 16/01/2017 17:33

Before: no TV at meal times
After: Both DC currently watching Cbeebies whilst (supposedly) eating their dinner

Before: no frozen / processed rubbish to eat
After: said dinner is chicken nuggets & chips!

lizziefield1982 · 16/01/2017 18:12

Before - he won't watch much TV
After - pahhahaha pregnant with number two and knackered, cbbies is saving me

ElectronicDischarge · 16/01/2017 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoodyGoodyGumdrops · 16/01/2017 19:30

I would not shout at my dc, and a short sharp slap is better than a rant.

I have yelled myself hoarse at them (not proud Sad) and have never struck them in any way.

Flanderspigeonmurderer · 16/01/2017 19:32

Like another poster, I envisaged lovely walks with my baby in the pram. The reality was that he hated the pram and screamed bloody murder whenever he was put in it.
I thought I would baby led wean because it sounded easy, you just hand the baby food and they eat it! Hmm except my baby couldn't sit up unaided by six months so couldn't really pick up any food.
I thought I would be very strict with treats, I try to be but I feel that the temptation is everywhere. When he comes out of school with another bag of haribo because it's someone's birthday then I just let him eat it immediately. I don't have the energy for that battle!

BillyButtfuck · 16/01/2017 20:02

Where to start?
The birth: I was so set that I wanted a nice natural water birth with no medication.
My reality was a high risk multiple pregnancy which requires constant monitoring (no water birth allowed) and ended in a 2 day induction, 21 hours of labour and an emergency C Section.

I wanted to dress my babies in matching pristine outfits, the reality of that soon came crashing down when I realised they needed changing at different times due to all the sick, dribble, poo and food everywhere!

I was adamant that dummies were common and lazy, mine now have them on every car journey, at every nap and at bedtime - no exceptions.

No TV - Tiny Pop is the only channel my TV has played in almost a year.

I would be a domestic goddess, keeping an immaculate home, clean babies and all meals lovingly prepared and on the table (with no tv) to eat as a family. I haven't even had lunch yet and it's 8pm - my weaning babies have had Birdseye fishfingers.

I even thought the amount of toys would be minimal and easy to pop away at naptimes and after nu-nights. My house looks like some sort of you hoarders dream house.

I wouldn't change it for the world though, it even for a second.

CMOTDibbler · 16/01/2017 20:55

Not eating in the car. Having been in parents car, and inwardly tutting at the food debris, I said my child wouldn't eat in the car. The reality of life struck home during the toddler years!

tooneedyme · 16/01/2017 20:58

Like most of my friends I thought life carried on as it was but you just had a baby to take with you. Little did I know life would change entirely and that all things would revolve around them. I intended to keep up yoga, me time, hot baths and cooking new recipes (lol!!!). I promised to never use food as a reward or bribe (lol again) and that I would never lose my temper!

foxessocks · 16/01/2017 21:04

I wasn't going to let nap times or bed times change any plans or stop me doing stuff. This worked well until my portable baby became a toddler who only slept in her bed and turned into a crying mess when she missed a nap!

SaladDressing · 16/01/2017 21:17

I spent £££ on a 'Baby Mozart' box set. If my baby was going to have any screen time it was going to be Quality and Educational Screen Time.

She preferred 'In The Night Garden'. (And to be honest so did I Wink)

NauticalDisaster · 16/01/2017 21:19

The usual things, I guess:

  • I would make all their meals from scratch but now I am happy if they eat, even if that means peas, chips, & fish fingers
  • They would not watch television until they were over 5 but now CBeebies is on whilst I cooked dinner
  • There was to be no eating in the car but now I use snacks to have a bit of peace and quiet
RemoveAllPicturesOfRon · 16/01/2017 21:33

I was going to BLW all the way - no spoon feeding for me, baby would eat what it wanted when it wanted from my lovely choice of organic carrots etc etc. Reality: after a hideous birth baby was tube fed for 20 months and then (and now) would only be fed with a spoon. Plus I didn't care at all - just glad they were eating!

minifingerz · 16/01/2017 23:34

I had no hopes or expectations while pregnant because thinking about the fact I was going to have a baby made me shit myself in terror, so I didn't do it.

It was an excellent strategy.

Pillowaddict · 17/01/2017 00:05

That I would be organised, consistent and full of positive behaviour management...reality is Sleep
Deprived shoutiness, messy house, lack of routine and general chaos!

ursuslemonade · 17/01/2017 02:40

It's Ok to give in to some of the food (carb) cravings while pregnant as when the baby arrives I'll be so active and walking for hours and the weight will just drop off.
Reality is that while I get so tired taking care of them I don't have any energy left for exercising.
Oh and I'll have one of those very tidy and pristine homes. Yeah right.

duckyisback · 17/01/2017 07:44

The birth of dd2, was going to be a lovely calm water birth, with only gas and air, I was not going to have an epidural and wanted it in capital letters on. My birth plan I WOULD DEFINITELY NOT HAVE ONE! I had done hypnobirthing and it was going to be wonderful.

Ha.

When I went into labour I was begging for an epidural 'or just stuff me with any drugs' I offered to pay and even offered to pay a nurse to beat me round the head with anything that would knock me out. Dd came so quick I could only have g&a but omg what I would of given for some pethidine or an epidural. Think I could be heard screaming for miles around!

With ds, he would definitely not have a dummy, no matter what! When he was born he needed some medicines and the scbu asked if they could give them on a dummy, he wouldn't spit the dummy out. I thought, ok he can use it for the first 6 weeks, he still had it at 12 weeks. I thought as long as it's gone by 6 months it would be ok. He's now 2yrs and still loves his dum dum Hmm

I was also convinced with ds that he would never be one of them kids throwing tantrums in the shops. How wrong I was. He regularly throws himself on the floor kicking and screaming Grin

Helloooomeee · 17/01/2017 07:46

I didn't bother with pregnancy books and the like. I assumed that childbirth would be a bit sore but I'd just woman through it! Hmm

Then I was going to breast feed. I mean it's natural so how hard could it be?! Use reusable nappies, definitely no dummies, I'd make all my own food when weaning. There'd be no tv. I would never take my child to a pub (afterall it's not exactly fun for the kids!)

And that's pretty much what happened!!Wink apart from demanding lots of drugs and screaming the place down during childbirth. Deciding that reusable nappies weren't very practical whilst stuck in hospital and never returning to them. The dummy came out after 5 days, formula feeding commenced after 11 days. Pre made baby food became acceptable very early on after peeling enough vegetables to feed a small country became tedious and ds screamed whenever I put him down... unless the tv was on!!

And well, taking my child to the pub became a lifeline to hot food, alcohol and sane, childfree friends! Grin