Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[AmeliaMumsnet]

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

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Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

I'd been told that newborns sleep for approx 17 hours out of 24 so I thought I could finish off some work on which I'd missed the deadline prior to going into labour. How wrong I was...

Before - life will be great and rewarding after kids
reality afterwards - I have no life.

I thought I could do it all and that it couldn't be that hard to keep a house reasonably tidy with a newborn. It really did look like a tip and I looked like the sleep deprived banshee that I was for a while.
Reality hit when I saw a photo of myself pre birth and a month later. Didn't help that I hadn't had a haircut for months. I looked like something from the Addams family.

Mine is that we would keep 'the clutter' in just the nursery and one of the downstairs room - in reality from birth onwards your children are part of the family, and you want their things around, or at least easily to hand...and they sure do come with a lot of clutter and things.

Attempts to curb silly spending and excessive presents were futile. I have a house full of plastic tat! I also bought way too many "essential" things that were never used including emergency formula, bottles and (shudder) disposable pants!

My son would be a cloth bummed kid and would only eat home made baby food.
He leaked through every cloth nappy we tried (and nearly every type of sposies) and rejected home made food but loved hipp jars.

I wanted a water birth and gas and air, I got an induction (some gas and air) and a emecs. I wanted to be an earth mother, I really am not. wanted to bf, ended up with formula. there are so many it would take all night to list it lets just say there is no rule book and as soon as you have it sussed your child will rewrite any "rules" you may have!

that I will get them to be kind because ill show them how...sometimes kids are nasty and its then with the tantrums and the arguemtns that you learn where to start from.they know nothing from when they shoot out,so at some point they will behave shockingly and its then you have to step up and teach them right from wrong.this is when it matters.

that they will like veg.kids are stupid they sometimes don't like green food yet will scoff down peas!!

I was a much better parent before I had children. 'My' children would be delightful, lovely and clean.

Nonsense.

No one told me about the pain. The bleeding. The pelvic floor catastrophe.

The reality is much messier. Still fabulous, but full of snot, vomit and clothes that are never clean. But also stolen kisses when you rediscover snogging with your OH. And the joy of holding the baby when they sleep. And first words. Oh, and discussing the contents of the nappy.. never did I imagine I would gleefully discuss poo habits. Ah, how much life has changed! X

I wouldn't use a dummy, I do now but try to limit how often.

That I'd keep on top of housework, I try to but there aren't enough hours in the day ha.

That I'd go out for walks, meet up with friends for coffee etc, I do sometimes but most of the time it just seems like too much effort!

They wouldn't watch TV very much at all. Yeah. They watch TV when I need a break!! Sometimes 10X postman pats. Eldest being 2 and 9 months and the second a few weeks old.

Pre baby- Our child will never sleep in our bed
Now- When can Olivia have a sleep over in our bed next?

Pre Baby - I will make all meals from scratch
Now - During the week she has whatever is going to be cooked the fastest and actually be eaten instead of end up on the floor

I didn't have any high minded expectations before my daughter was born, but I didn't expect her to cry so much and so loudly when she was a newborn. My husband used to describe her cry as "blood curdling"!! Usually I didn't know why she was crying, it would do my head in! Looking after a newborn baby made me realise how effective sleep deprivation is as a form of torture!

I was really excited about going to "mummy-baby yoga classes" together. I went once, and DD crawled around and screeched and balled her eyes out. It was so stressful I ended up having to have a big glass of wine after which defeats the point of yoga really doesn't it

Not eating in the car. I used to look at people's cars with DC and think they were disgusting. Now mine is worse (you just do anything to keep the peace sometimes).

I would breastfeed as why wouldn't you? It's free, easy, natural...I lasted 3 days!

We would never watch tv...guess what the first thing we do in the morning is!

I would have a lovely, natural water birth...bloody hated that pool and looooved the gas and air

So many things I changed my views on, don't know where to begin... That I was only going to breastfeed because that was best, that my babies were never having dummies, they were never going to sleep in my bed, that I was never going to tell them to be quiet or even worse shut up. Honestly, loads of things. But I'm over the guilt of it all know and have come to the firm realisation that nothing prepares you for this job beforehand, each child is very, very different and you really do have to just trust your instincts and go with the flow. It really will all be okay in the end!

Pre - water/ hypno birth
baby will sleep in crib and never in our bed

Post - highly medicated emergency C section (hypno really didn't work for me) baby Slept with us for about six months in our bed most of the time because he fed SO much (although waking up next to him in the mornings was lovely).

The children were going to fit around my life, not vice versa. Ha bloody ha.

I didn't want my dcs to have too much sugar. I lasted for 2 years with my 1st, the second got an ice cream shoved in her face at 2 weeks old by her sister

Our child won't sleep in our bed - co slept til she was 2, she still creeps in fairly often aged 5.
I'll be calm and firm, and will never resort to bribery
During birth I will be silent and focussed - first time round I was a swearing, thrashing banshee.

Plan: bedtime would be a calming ritual, ds would feel loved, secure and happy in his own bed, because this is what would be best for me him.

Reality: bedtime is an attempt at being calming, an attempt at making ds feel happy and secure in his own bed, however always leads to ds invading my bed because "I need cuddles all night long". He melts my heart and my convictions, and I love him for it.

I'd decided not to use baby wipes on my PFB because of the 'chemicals' in them. Fast forward to the post natal ward and there I am, trying to scrape the first meconium poo off his backside with cotton wool and water, whilst wresting with my drip. It was stuck to his backside like glue! Cue to arrival of the Bounty lady with a packet of Johnson's baby wipes. I've never been so pleased to see a packet of wipes in my life! Lesson learned....

Pre-birth ideal of a lovely water birth. Post-birth reality of screaming for an epidural. Pre-birth reality of lovely trips to coffee shops. Post-birth reality of a baby who really liked to be pushed in the pram...no sit-downs for me!