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MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

281 replies

AmeliaMumsnet · 16/01/2017 11:58

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

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Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED
OP posts:
Orangepear · 22/01/2017 10:46

I was adamant the baby wouldn't come into our bed, it was our space. I've now got my second co sleeping child - it gets everyone the most sleep and it isn't for long in the grand scheme of things, and I love the baby snuggles! Don't miss DH snoring one bit. Wink

HerRoyalFattyness · 22/01/2017 14:36

I was never going to shout at my kids.
I find myself shouting. "I've already told you 6 times, you need to get dressed now or you're going to be late for school!" Almost daily.

Bunkai · 22/01/2017 14:46

My DCs were not going to have a load of plastic tat or guns of any kind.

Hopezibah · 22/01/2017 15:47

my biggest mistake was buying my first pair of hair straighteners just before my baby was born. I imagined that being on maternity leave and not having to rush out to work every morning would mean that I would have oodles of time to actually do my hair and make up - I know I know - sounds so stupid now after three children and not even having time to blow dry my hair - ever!

But i genuinely had planned to make an effort to look nice before going out each day with my new baby - little did i know that I would be more than happy to just make it out the door covered in baby milk vomit, bogeys, mis-matched outfit and a total bed-head!

confuddledDOTcom · 23/01/2017 03:04

After last time and the £100 that never made it to me I'm not sure I trust this but it's not going to hurt I guess.

I actually went the other way, I was definitely going to breastfeed although had no expectations and use cloth but after my eldest was born I got into online forums and suddenly turned into a very AP mum. I made my own wrap slings, breastfed for over 6 months before starting BLW, tandemed before doing it all again.

hdh747 · 23/01/2017 05:23

I had all sorts of niave ideas about being a supermum and baby just slotting into my life. The reality was two babies who hardly ever slept in the first few months, and life as a zombie! I also spend weeks leaking milk like a fountain, so I went round wrapped in a towel lol - breastpads were soaked in minutes. It did get better but boy was it a shock at first.

winterpark · 23/01/2017 06:27

For my second I wanted a nice calm home birth with just gas and air. It turned out I really didn't like the gas and ended up with no pain relief and I screamed the place down :)

izbiz1988 · 23/01/2017 06:32

Aaah...I definitely thought that after the labour process, I would be able to sleep it off while a team of serene midwives cared for my baby...nope! Motherhood starts as soon as they leave your womb and never stops :) It's good in a way though...prepares you for what is to come after you've left the hospital!

Cathp808 · 23/01/2017 06:34

The worst moment was when I had my second baby soon after my first. I thought it would be easy as my day was spent changing nappies and making bottles anyway. But OMG how wrong could I be they always pooped at the same time, screamed at the same time, and woke up at night the same time. Sometimes I use to want to just sit and cry and a few times I did. I felt trapped inside the house for about two years. :(

janeyf1 · 23/01/2017 07:20

To feed the little one and for us as a family to eat just healthy foods.

Reality: treats are still the norm for all of us

glenka · 23/01/2017 07:22

I think you just have to go in with an open mind because you don't know how things will turn out.

Lisapaige24 · 23/01/2017 07:34

I always knew I was going to give my children dummies after all I like a quiet life. But never did I think how hard it would be getting it back off them same with tantrums didn't think I would have children who threw tantrums after all my children were all going to be little angels reality hits us all hard when they have there first one and you hope it never happens again but it does and you realise your little angel has a hint of the devil in them.

annarack99 · 23/01/2017 07:50

I always thought I can control my child's behaviour and she would never have tantrums or shout in public, turns out I was wrong!

ThemisA · 23/01/2017 07:55

I was going to always keep calm - I think I lasted 30 seconds of stunned silence then sheer panic at the enormity of the task ahead.

jacqui5366 · 23/01/2017 08:21

In my head I would have this perfect baby dressed in white, sitting on the floor playing with his/her toys, I would go to bed and wake up refreshed...............reality was, I could never put him down or he would cry and scream, the only thing which stopped this was putting the hoover on next to his cot whilst I showered, sleep - what is sleep, if you are trying to get to sleep you are anticipating the next night feed, and he was dressed in a vest and baby grow. It does get easier and they do sleep through eventually, but nothing can ever prepare you for the challenges ahead, but I would not have changed it for the world, it has made me a less selfish, patient and thoughtful person which I could have ever been without him, and I have made so many true friends where a bond of motherhood is an everlasting one.

LauraLovesDaisy · 23/01/2017 08:34

My pre birth goal was to come home with a healthy baby, which I was lucky enough to do. Anything else was small stuff.

Ganne1 · 23/01/2017 08:37

Later post-birth reality was fine. Few, if any, sleepless nights, just pleasure and pride. Immediate post-birth was a different matter, as I never bargained for an episiotomy.

ToastyFingers · 23/01/2017 08:44

I would just keep calm and let my baby lead me. We would be a happy little team and just go with the flow, even if this meant never following a routine or such.

Calm?!?

In reality I was frantic and racked with anxiety and depression until dd1 was over a year old. I was back in my pre-pregnancy clothes within about a fortnight, because dd just screamed and screamed and I was too anxious to put her down so I could make food.

With dd2 things were much more like my previous ideals.

It took us hours to get out of the house, TV was on near constantly, many a nugget was eaten by dd1 and myself, and I wore odd socks, big knickers and maternity clothes for almost a year.

And we are all HAPPY. Life is calm and good, and I've finally ditched the maternity jeans.

createbeauty · 23/01/2017 09:04

I was looking forward to having a water birth but at 12 days overdue had to be induced, which took two days. After two days I was still only 1cm dilated and had my water burst by the doctor at 10:30 PM and was in labour all night. I had an epidural, which only worked on one side so had to have it re-done. By 7:30 AM I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. Before I could push the midwives had to empty my bladder, which was over-stretched due to not feeling the need to urinate because of the epidural. By 7:50 AM my son was born and I was so in love. But I was completely shattered and it took an hour to have stitches due to tears.
I was so knackered after not sleeping well in the hospital bed for 3 nights in a row that I found it hard to bond with my baby. The doctors and midwives kept telling me to get some sleep but then kept coming in all the time in between the baby crying. Hubby was only allowed to come during visiting hours and the first night in hospital after baby was born, I couldn't sleep properly because I constantly felt like I need to urinate, but couldn't go. I ended up having a catheter in as my bladder had over 1 Litre of urine in it and was so over-stretched I had to retrain it to work. Another night in hospital and I was becoming very depressed due to lack of sleep and being stuck in a hospital room with another lady whose visitors were really loud. After crying on the 5th day when they wanted me to stay in another night, I had a different catheter put in and was able to go home. I had that catheter in for 7 days and still had trouble sleeping as the bag was attached to my thigh so I couldn't sleep very comfortably. I ended up having postnatal depression due to all the complications and it took a few months for me to properly bond with my baby even though I knew I loved him more than anything.

I'm now 31 weeks pregnant and don't really have any expectations for the birth. I just hope it isn't as difficult as my first birth.

emmmaaa26 · 23/01/2017 09:15

Just thought everything was going to be half as hard and all fun and games. That isn't the case.

happysouls · 23/01/2017 09:26

I think I had a very idealised version of everything in my head and didn't really actually think too much about it. When the time came I fell to pieces and just went with the flow! That pretty much sums up a good portion of my life! haha!

beckyinman · 23/01/2017 09:37

I thought my life wouldn't be that different! What an idiot

maryandbuzz1 · 23/01/2017 09:43

We always said it wasn't going to stop us doing anything however after a disasterous weekend in Paris where my son screamed all w/e and one of us had to keeping walking up and down whilst the other took a coffee break outside French cafes and a 2 week holiday to Greece turned into a weeks ho,I DAY after we flew home early...we revised our original beliefs.

milliemoocross · 23/01/2017 09:45

Pre Birth - everything natural, no ready meals, no skipping meals etc
After Birth - the natural sound of the ding on the microwave as we are rushing out the door trying to get to a club!

hiddenmichelle · 23/01/2017 09:46

Having read every baby book going I thought I would be able to get my first baby into a routine really quickly and that I would be really disciplined and be able to do it fairly easily - WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! They are in control!!!