Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[AmeliaMumsnet]

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

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Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

That I would have a natural birth and go home that day. Ended up being induced due to reduced movement and In the end a emergency c section.
I would only breastfeed for the first six months. 15 months later and I still can't get him to drink any other milk.

That I would always try and catch up on my sleep when he was asleep - it never happened - there was always too much to do.

I was going to work up until a week before my due date... I was signed off sick from 28 weeks. Absolutely bored rigid.

I was going to have a water birth, possibly gas & air... I couldn't have the water birth due to my blood pressure going crazy. Contractions kept dying off so they had to induce me. 3 weeks of continuous Braxton Hicks (or possibly a very long slow labour?) had left me with a very sore bladder / water infection which was only diagnosed the morning I went into labour, so the ABs hadn't had time to kick in. Ended up with pethidine, epidural. And then a massive PPH & a transfusion.

I was going to be back home within a day... We couldn't as DD was jaundiced, I was on a blood transfusion & my BP was still going crazy. 5 days later we finally got home.

DD was going to have only home cooked food, no sweets, etc etc... Well, her first taste of food was watermelon which she leaned forward & sucked at about 2 months (it was mine & & she looked most surprised at the taste, but went back for another go ). However it went downhill from there, the only plus point is that she resolutely doesn't like jelly or fizzy drinks. And we've never been to McDonalds as there isn't one in walking distance. Yet. She sure loves her chips, though.

That baby's went to sleep in their cot every night.
.....didn't happen for months!
That my children would have a select amount of cherished toys.
.....they have far too much tart. It's a constant battle.
That I would love playing tea parties etc.
....I don't!

Before birth I thought I wouldn't need to buy bottles and a steriliser as breast feeding is easy and natural and formula feeding was not for me. Now I have many bottles, a steriliser and a breast pump. My baby spent the first 5 weeks of his life feeding breast or formula milk from bottles as breast feeding was too damn hard.

Before baby came I vowed I'd have no plastic toys in the house, only minimal numbers of soft toys, wooden toys etc. now we have lots of plastic tat...

Before I gave birth I vowed I'd be organic and healthy for all the families food - buying fresh veg and fruit daily. Now we are lucky to get frozen veggies to go with our meals.

Pre birth: I would exclusively breastfeed for at least 6 months. I didn't understand why anyone wouldn't, My son would only eat healthy unprocessed meals and watch very little TV. Needless to say I came crashing down to earth when he was born. I found breastfeeding incredibly difficult and stopped after 10 days. He's had his fair share of Mcds and Tv is a great babysitter. With DD I just went with the flow a lot more.

Pretty much all of the above..

The main ones that come to mind though are:

Before: no dummies, no junk food, minimal tv, children would just fit seamlessly into our lives and we could continue as before, we would all eat together as a family for at least one meal a day

After: DS2 has not just one, but 2 dummies for sleeping/comfort.. He calls one his "hand dummy" though swaps them between hand and mouth regularly.

DS1 has ASD and his very limited self restricted diet includes demanding pain au chocolat for breakfast every day. We try to limit those to a couple of breakfasts a week, and his only accepted substitute is frosted shreddies... We are now just happy if he eats something.

Now I tell my friends who are about to have their first child just to keep an open mind and never say never..

Things that I wanted that didn't happen include a natural birth, breastfeeding, no dummies, reusable nappies, only educational wooden toys, little screen time.
I have suffered through varying degrees of guilt over these things, but I've come to accept there is no "right" way to do things, only what works for your family.
I hope that if I can be brave enough to go for Dc2 I will put less pressure on myself. My views of motherhood were definitely unrealistic before my Ds was born.

Before parenthood, I thought it was a matter of getting a baby used to a bit of b

Stupid phone.

Before parenthood, I thought it was a matter of getting a baby used to a bit of background noise and then they would happily nap through whatever.

Two babies in and I understand that their capacity to wake up at the slightest sound is ENDLESS. They can awaken if a mouse breathes three houses away. Although, weirdly, they sleep through fireworks. Anyway, lesson learned: I have very limited power over what noise they will/won't sleep through.

I was going to cook all my children's food myself to prevent additives, preservatives etc...
Then I realised I wouldn't have time to faff around and they eat what I have time to prepare. I try to make it as healthy as possible and use as many shortcut's as possible, like frozen veg etc.

I had a birth-plan where I specifically said...no epidural...absolutely not...no way. After 18 hours (and no sleep for 32) I was screaming for the epidural. By the time they got it organised and about ready to go my little mushy pea was born lol

Before having my daughter, I had this image that I have to be perfect and do everything that the baby books says...I became more relaxed and realised that being perfect is impossible and that everyone's baby is different :)

No convenience foods, limited TV time, babies will just slot into our lives....

HAHAHA

Needless to say, we didn't imagine that literally everything in your lives changes, babies are not very good at 'just slotting in'

So - Being able to leave children in front of the TV for a bit can be a complete sanity saver, as can being able to give them chicken Kiev and chips regularly occasionally

I remember actually telling my dp that having children couldn't possibly change the way I felt about him and that I could never love anyone as much as him, I would always make time for him . . Cut to a world where we are permanently exhausted and never get to finish a sentence without the dcs interrupting.

No devices, reading by 3, writing long stories by 6, no arguments because we taught them to be rational and feel they could talk things through...reality, endless devices for all of us, dyslexia and 3 fights a day.

When my son was ready for solids, he was just going to eat what I ate.

Mwhahahahah.

Wooden toys only, no character or TV influences.

Who on earth would be stupid enough to let their baby fall off a bed, I mean, come on people! Said only to have my child roll off the bed not once, but twice. I'm a terrible mother!

That I wouldn't have kids TV on all day. Now CBeebies is on pretty much all day in our house!

That all our meals would be healthy. Foiled slightly by the fact that the toddler turns her nose up at homemade stews etc and refuses to eat it. She subsequently eats fish fingers at least once a week...

Pre birth I had planned to leave hospital in my pre pregnancy clothes, looking fantastic and return to uni weeks later, as my life wouldn't change.
The reality post birth, I looked like I had been dragged through I hedge by a bulldozer I still fitted into my maternity clothes and wore the biggest knickers I had ever laid eyes on. Plus I had to defer a year at uni as I was severely sleep deprived didn't want to be separated from my baby.
Luckily i was less deluded more prepared with my second!

Pre birth I had planned to leave hospital in my pre pregnancy clothes, looking fantastic and return to uni weeks later, as my life wouldn't change.
The reality post birth, I looked like I had been dragged through I hedge by a bulldozer I still fitted into my maternity clothes and wore the biggest knickers I had ever laid eyes on. Plus I had to defer a year at uni as I was severely sleep deprived didn't want to be separated from my baby.
Luckily i was less deluded more prepared with my second!

I was never going to use a dummy, bottle feed or do controlled crying... ooops.

Pre-birth:

• No dummies
• Exclusive breastfeeding
• No screens
• Baby-led weaning
• My child won't have tantrums
• I won't be able to cope, I'll fall apart and wish I didn't have a baby

Post-birth

• We got rid of the dummy at about 18 months/2
• Turns out people aren't falling over themselves to support young mums to breastfeed, so formula it was.
• DD is 2 and knows all the words to the Team Rocket motto (Pokemon) so that's where no-screens got us...
• Purees were a lifesaver
• We don't do going out right now, the tantrums are extreme
• I am an awesome mum and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me :)

I cringe when I think of how obnoxious I was before the DC were born - as some PP above mentioned, I was sure the baby would adapt to my life rather than vice versa. No screen time, no junk food, Sundays spent on meaningful cultural outings and oh yeah, my and DH would maintain a sex life. Very little of the above has materialised.

I was actually fairly level-headed thanks to my friends with children. I had a good idea that I wouldn't be in control of much and that I'd need to adapt and go with the flow.

HOWEVER.

I was adamant that my precious first-born wouldn't have loads of what I called 'sticky plastic rubbish'. I envisioned him having tasteful wooden toys and lovely books, that would be kept clean of any kind of muck. No grubby finger marks or food stains. How hard could it be?

...

I now have two boys and a houseful of plastic toys. Both boys seem to generate muck just by breathing. My youngest's favourite book is covered in grease and I just don't care.

Not eating in the car and not shouting. I so try not to shout and mostly don't. Some days I don't manage it though and those are not good days.

My child wasn't going to watch endless cartoons. I did pretty well with that one until I ended up alone in charge of a toddler whilst on crutches for six weeks. She got a crash course in cartoon appreciation and now there's no tearing her away from the tv