Tell Asda about your pre-birth ideals versus post-birth reality - £300 voucher to be won! NOW CLOSED

[AmeliaMumsnet]

We're all guilty of viewing parenthood with thick rose-tinted glasses... before we give birth. Who amongst us didn't have lofty ideals - never putting your child in front of the TV, reading Shakespeare to it every afternoon? Maybe you thought that dummies were the work of the devil or that every bit of baby food would be pureed from vegetables grown in your garden’s organic vegetable plot. And then the baby is born and reality comes crashing down like a tonne of nappies.

What high-minded expectations did you have for your parenting before your baby was born? And how have they played out now you have the real thing? Share your pre and post birth comparisons below and we’ll enter you into a prize draw to win a £300 Asda voucher.

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Thanks, and good luck!

MNHQ

pre-birth I would never ever shout.... now .....ahem

I was not going to let DC use any multimedia, not watch any TV before age 3. But trying to combine working from home with children I did end up utilising the benefits of the screen babysitter. A lot.

Of course, I would do it completely differently if given the chance again

My biggest one was no TV, now I'm happy to put him in front of the TV for half an hour so I can clean up!

I was also determined to exclusively breastfeed but I had to change this plan due to him losing so much weight.

I bought some books from the Book People at work when pregnant- knitting for babies and make your own clothes for babies 'I shall do this while I'm on maternity when the baby is sleeping'. One of my colleagues laughed and said nicely 'ok we'll see how you get on with that'.... I've never opened either book as a) the baby didn't sleep nicely in the moses basket to allow me that time and b) when she did I wasn't wasting that time knitting I had a cuppa and telly on the go! When I went back to work my colleague laughed again!

The biggest thing was no tv, DC does watch some to now so I can actually get a couple of things done without being jumped on or having play doh mushed into the carpet.

I wasn't going to move any of my ornaments or breakables. I was just going to tell my baby 'no.' And they'd listen. Sadly I shared this piece of wisdom with my parents who STILL bring it up, even though the baby is now 10. (Admittedly, telling her no works now.....) As you can imagine, as a strategy forbabies and toddlers it was, er, flawed...

Before children I said; "why would a baby watch tv? I will carry my baby round in a sling while I get on with the housework."

After; my son hated to be held, let alone trapped in a sling and would only stop crying when put down in his bouncy chair...in front of cbeebies. And as for the housework... I will catch up on that when the kids turn 18!

Ha, ha - oh dear, I am very guilty of this! We moved into a new house just before having our first son. The house needed a lot of work and as we had renovated a house before, we planned to finish all of the work in a year. I also thought "I will have plenty of time when I am on maternity leave - I'll make all of the curtains for the house". Well, our first son was born and reality set in - it took us 8 years to finish the house (and I still haven't painted the skirting boards in the dining room), and I only ever made one pair of curtains - they were for our son's bedroom and they weren't finished until his little brother was born 2 years later!!

I vowed I would not let the baby only get used to sleeping on me in the day, but when they keep crying that is what you resort to.

I had no idea what going into labour and giving birth was really like. No idea. I had the conviction that I would be as natural as possible. I felt grateful when I had to have an emergency Cesarean with my first child. When I had my second son a couple of years later I just imagined that it would be an emergency Cesarean again, then when that wasn't happening I just went with the epidural as suggested by the mid wife. I wasn't disappointed, just relieved that I had the option which I would not have considered before.

Pre: my spare time whilst on maternity leave would be spent concocting new exciting meals
Post: "spare time" hahaha. Convenience food for at least 9 months!

I was going to have plenty of time to cook healthy meals. Reality a lot less time to cook!! Did discover the wonder of a slow cooker though.

Oh everything pretty much. I was going to give birth without pain relief, no tv, strict of sweets, homemade food only, everything. Clearly none of that happened or is the norm but we are happy and healthy so never mind. I love it on here as you know you aren't the only one it's happening to, some of the other mums at pre school pretend everything is perfect

I thought I'd be able to put him down. When my lo arrived he just wanted to be held all of the time, I was not prepared for this. I also didn't realise how much of a mummy's boy he'd be but i guess thats breastfeeding. I thought that bf would be easy, because its natural, how wrong I was. It is rock hard and so painful at times. But the biggest surprise was the feelings. The automatic unconditional love. The thought that baby can do no wrong, no matter how kuch of a little so and so hes being, I've done something wrong. The overwhelming worry from day 1. The questionning everything you do. But most of all the pride you feel in having made such an amazing miniature human. People tell you all this before hand but you dont realise what them mean until you feel it for yoursrlf i guess. I thought id be a layed back mum, because im a layed back person but wrong again.

I thought I'd be able to put him down. When my lo arrived he just wanted to be held all of the time, I was not prepared for this. I also didn't realise how much of a mummy's boy he'd be but i guess thats breastfeeding. I thought that bf would be easy, because its natural, how wrong I was. It is rock hard and so painful at times. But the biggest surprise was the feelings. The automatic unconditional love. The thought that baby can do no wrong, no matter how kuch of a little so and so hes being, I've done something wrong. The overwhelming worry from day 1. The questionning everything you do. But most of all the pride you feel in having made such an amazing miniature human. People tell you all this before hand but you dont realise what them mean until you feel it for yoursrlf i guess. I thought id be a layed back mum, because im a layed back person but wrong again.

Although we all laugh about how idealistic we were, and smile knowingly at our first time pregnant friends, I think its entirely right that we have ideals. It means we want to do the best we can for our children. It's also natural that those ideals are modified by reality. I imagined my children would be trained by me to have perfect behaviour at all times. I hadn't accounted for the fact that they their own personalities which are beyond my control. I've learnt that I get a better resulting by working with them rather than being a strict rule enforcer!

I bought a ukelele and was going to learn to play nursery rhymes on it. Clearly must have watched the Sound of Music too often waiting for baby to arrive. We're not an all-singing all-dancing family at all!

Having a baby wouldn't affect my relationship with my DH it would just enhance it! After baby we were just two sleep deprived zombies who happened to share a house.
I wouldn't be the short of mother who spent all day in her dressing gown, I would be able to get organised and dressed etc when baby slept, he never slept more than about 40 mins at a time so that didn't work.

Loving this thread - ha!!
Oh I love the wisdom of a non-parent, & the wisdom I would bestow (in my head) before I was a parent - don't we all have all the answers before we have children! :)
I am particularly enjoying the advice of my brother (non-parent) & am looking forward to reminding him of this advice regularly come May, when his own child comes forth into the world!

I planned to have a natural birth with little or minimal pain relief in a local birthing centre - the reality was that after 5 days of stop-start contracts, very little sleep & chronic back pain - I was sobbing to be taken to hospital after my waters broke & the midwife told me I was 1.5cm dilated - WHAT?!!? IS THAT IT?!
I accepted any & every pain relief offered & just rolled with it! Once the back pain was under control, the rest was a breeze!

Blimey... Having kids gave me a reality check that's for sure. I mean what planet did i think i was from. Being a mum was obviously going to a little difficult right?!?! I will learn as i get on with the job in hand, its only a little baby?!?! I have a supportive partner! WRONG! From the second i missed that period life got harder and harder. The worry of the scan.. well there was no worry there as the baby was fine BUT hearing oh wow, we have 2 in there!!! Life was just about to get really difficult. With the constant pressure of visits to the hospital to the dark depths of antenatal depression and psychosis, Aarghhh it could only get better surely. Babies born at 32 weeks and in SCBU for 3 weeks i'm sure put several grey hairs on my head. The dream that i thought it would be was insane, 2 babies the same age both wanting to share me. Not having a break from being a mum, finding out twin 2 had learning difficulties and other issues and then finally separating from their dad. Yes i'm sure this is what i thought motherhood would be like!

I thought I could have a nap when my baby is sleeping

I was given tons of bad advice like it'll hurt blah blah blah. When I went in labour I was thinking OMG I've been told the pain is excruciating how am I going to cope! Than after I'd given birth I felt that I was terrified for no reason at all! My advice to anyone would be don't listen to the scary stories it's not as bad has you will be made to believe

I thought it would be a fairytale but the reality is very different, there are those fairytale moments but alot of sleepless nights and worry.

THAT IT WONT CHANGE ME and I WILL STILL DO ALL THE THINGS I DID BEFORE BECOMING A DAD, how wrong was i it has COMPLETELY changed my life and how i look at my life. But only for the better though

that our patience would be a virtue and we would always be in control.

Chaos ensued at every turn