Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

1000 replies

openupmyeagereyes · 03/01/2023 07:25

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
openupmyeagereyes · 09/03/2023 18:44

I found it frustrating when I didn’t know what the problem was but there’s the worry about the longer term implications. You just can’t force them to go.

OP posts:
livpotter · 09/03/2023 20:51

Very true.

UnoQueenie · 10/03/2023 09:23

@livpotter and @openupmyeagereyes so hard.
Re: baby massage, I did a course when DS was a baby which helped with his colic, but once he was old enough to move then he didn't want to stay still long enough! He's doing yoga at school now though so sort if coming back to that type of holistic body thinking a little bit. We've done some breathing type exercises together with moderate success!
Omg DS properly excited this morning because the snow is sticking a little bit. Its still coming down!! Its quite beautiful but not in March! Where did the spring weather go?!
How's everyone's weekends looking? DS wants a takeout tonight and then usual Saturday routine looking in the shops. Ooh have any Buffy fans heard? They're releasing a reboot set in the future apparently and Spike will be a watcher (but don't know if it'll be James Marsters). I think he's amazing though. Did you know he raised his niece who has additional needs because his brother couldn't cope?

openupmyeagereyes · 10/03/2023 09:29

Snow is settling here too, coming down quite heavily. I think our weekend will now be weather dependent so will wait and see.

Yes, I like Buffy. Sounds like SMG won’t be in it if they do the re-boot.

OP posts:
danni0509 · 10/03/2023 14:35

Weeks been ok here. Can’t believe how quick these weeks fly by. Only feels like yesterday it was Monday!

Ds has a septic cut (well it’s a big pinch mark from a child at school, nasty one, not very happy about children doing that to him but what can I do) it broke the skin, and ds has spent 2 weeks picking and it’s all infected and spread up his arm now. Need to keep an eye on it this weekend, it’s always worse when he comes home from school they must just let him pick it, and he takes the dressings off, even though I’ve emailed them and told them to not let him. I don’t let him take them off at home 🙄

So I’ll be on it all weekend making sure he leaves it alone so it can heal a bit, but think he needs antibiotics (not the first time he’s needed them picking his scabs off) he point blank refuses antibiotics though so another battle in itself.

Ds has been fine with his new passenger in the taxi. No issues at all, so all good.

dimples76 · 10/03/2023 14:46

Ouch, that sounds nasty Danni

We have snow and have been sledging. Only problem is that DS's school is closed and I am meant to be working. Just recorded a lecture in which DS features quite heavily. He has also participated in a number of meetings. I think I will call it quits for the day soon (I am only meant to work 4 hours on Fridays but normally for 6. DS is aggrieved that I do not have a snow day too!

openupmyeagereyes · 10/03/2023 16:35

Ouch danni, I remember when he had the same issue with his leg and needed AB’s. If only they bloody listened eh! Some things I tell ds over and over but they do not sink in.

Just recorded a lecture in which DS features quite heavily that made me smile dimples

We had heavy snow this morning but no sign of it now and the sun came out mid afternoon.

Tricky morning for ds at school. So glad it’s the weekend tbh.

OP posts:
danni0509 · 10/03/2023 16:56

Yes open his leg was terrible, i think he did that on a slide like a friction burn then just picked it until he got cellulitis, I had to go to the dr and out of hours about 3 times for that and he was on antibiotics and special creams and dressings for weeks. It has scarred all his leg!

He’s been picking these scabs and has been wiping the blood on his class friends, his teacher phoned me to ask me to speak to him about it as the students don’t want blood on them, like that’s going to work I’ve been telling him for 2 weeks to leave them alone, 🙄 maybe if his ‘class friend’ didn’t do it in the first bloody place we wouldn’t be here 🤣

openupmyeagereyes · 12/03/2023 18:09

danni if only it were that easy eh? Just tell them sternly and they don’t do it again… 🙄

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Ok here, we had some family round.

OP posts:
Jules912 · 12/03/2023 19:28

Not a bad weekend here, though DD has a substitute teacher for the next 3 days so expecting tears in the morning.

dimples76 · 12/03/2023 20:41

We have had a pretty easy weekend - with DS any way, DD is in full on tantruming mode!

I built a large marble run this evening which we all enjoyed playing with. After we'd moved on DS walked into it (not sure if it was intentional or not). I told him to put it away in the box and he just did it. You could have knocked me down with a feather!

openupmyeagereyes · 13/03/2023 11:44

Wow dimples that’s great. Well done ds Star

OP posts:
Ahna65 · 14/03/2023 03:27

Trying to settle DD since 0330. She woke at 12 but DH got up as I have a lot of work meetings today. Thought she was calm again by 0330 but no. She will be so tired today it’s just rubbish

shes probably feeling the aftermath of a visit to extended family this weekend (as am I!). Was a tough visit. At some point DD was running around just giggling loads and hand flapping - pure joy, so sweet- and my mother was like ‘you just have to pray she will progress at some point don’t you’. Lots of these type of comments rather than just enjoying seeing her.

hope everyone’s week started well.

danni0509 · 14/03/2023 06:39

@Ahna65 my ds been up since 4am too. Third time in the past week. 😴

Ahna65 · 14/03/2023 07:03

@danni0509 so grim. She went back down at 7am. 12-7 - think that’s a record even for her. Hoping she’s just unsettled from a weekend away and not a new normal

what does DS do in the early mornings? Is he happy / playing or meltdowns?

livpotter · 14/03/2023 07:07

Ahna that is such a rubbish thing to say. Sorry about the poor sleep. It's so debilitating.

Dimples that's amazing!

Jules hope it's going ok with the substitute teacher.

Yikes danni. Yeah I have no idea how you stop them picking at things. Ds constantly gets nosebleeds because of it.

We didn't get ds into school again yesterday but I'm meeting with the pastoral team today. Hopefully he'll go in! We have two strike days this week so everything is up in the air anyway.

openupmyeagereyes · 14/03/2023 09:05

liv I hope the meeting goes well, I’ll be interested to hear what ideas they have if you’re able to share.

Ahna I’m sorry you had a rough night and for your mum’s comments. Hopefully she didn’t say these things in earshot. Even if her views don’t change she will need to be more tactful as dd gets older.

danni 4am still common here too, between 4-5 is typical atm.

Ds picks his nose a lot too. It’s charming!

OP posts:
UnoQueenie · 14/03/2023 09:29

@danni0509 oh no poor DS, mine does it as well. We had to get endless creams for his scarlet fever spots on his face.
@Jules912 hope teacher change going ok!
@openupmyeagereyes hope the meeting goes well and is productive.
@Ahna65 my parents were a bit like this at the start and I very kindly talked to them, it helped. I just chatted casually about how neurodiversity can be a positive thing and research showing that letting children, and people really, be their authentic selves has proven benefits in terns of stress reduction etc. They started doing some reading, they watched the Chris Packham doc, and they accept DS now for who he is. As she grows up, she will hear those comments and it is upsetting for you all. That's why I felt so sad the other week when my FIL, who I thought understood, sent me that link to a news story about vitamin supplements! It's constant advocacy!
Sorry about sleep issues too @Ahna65 snd @danni0509 and anyone else I've missed, it's bleurgh!

UnoQueenie · 14/03/2023 09:30

I meant I talked to my parents in a kind way, not that it was kind of me to do it haha!

dimples76 · 14/03/2023 09:32

Good luck with the meeting Liv

Ahna it must have felt awful to hear your Mum speak like that.

I was talking to my sister at drop off this morning about how difficult it will be to get DS moved given that he behaves much better at school than home. But then she said that he really doesn't and whenever she sees DS's 1:1 (my sister is a TA at DS's school) there is usually some challenging behaviour to report. But when school talks to me they are much more positive and focus on achievements- I think I need to speak to them before AR to try and get a more accurate picture of DS's day.

UnoQueenie · 14/03/2023 09:37

@dimples76 they probably don't want to upset you, which is nice, and keep the relationship between you all positive. But you're right, they need to describe your DS on one of his worst days in order for him to get more support / move setting.

carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 14/03/2023 09:43

Morning, been slow posting recently due to just ongoing bloody illness, I’m fed up of it! Started with DH, nothing weird or wonderful but just nasty virus/ temps, then me, then DD then DS. DS does not do being poorly well. Lots of tantrums and meltdowns as mentioned before so it just makes a hard situation even harder. I find I’m generally so stressed/ worried/ depressed about DS anyway, even when he’s at his best, when one of us (either) is unwell it tips me over the edge. Whereas with DD it’s just an inconvenience if that makes sense.

Danni, ouch! Is it any better??

I can’t believe your DS is still up so early with all his sleep meds! I’m a bit worried about DS as he’s like a zombie at the mo on a morning, I’m worried we are overdoing the meds or maybe it’s just exacerbated by the fact he has been under the weather.

on the subject of sleep can I ask a question… you may say you don’t know, but do your DC move a lot in their sleep? DS is always tossing and turning, banging the wall as he turns, then I find him upside down in bed. I wonder if his unsettled sleep is why he is tired? It stresses me too that he is having some sort of epileptic episode that I don’t know about. Or if this is normal?

Liv, I hope the meeting goes well. I don’t think for DS school is really where he wants to be either. I just don’t think it’s clicked in his head that it’s a decision he can control. As Open said, I’m interested to hear their strategies.

Dimples the school you looked around sounds fab! Interesting that they do GCSEs, none of the SSs here do. The Head at this one said whilst many of the kids are more than capable they don’t have the attention span to sit for exams of that length. I could see myself saying that about DS. I do feel though that I’ve now set him on a path that may not allow him to demonstrate his abilities.

Open, that sounds a very early start still. Do you still feel the melatonin isn’t working? Are you going to go back to the dr?

Ahna, that sounds like something some of our GP would say. I remember MIL saying bluntly when DS was 2 that he was ‘retarded.’ Then justifying herself by giving the literal interpretation of the word. I do find though that certainly with our GP they just get worse with stuff they say (not just about the DC, generally.) maybe some older people are appropriate and tactful but most I know aren’t. Would you challenge her on these things Ahna? DH wouldn’t with his, I would blow a gasket with mine on the spot. Different relationships I suppose.

Beyond that DS seems quite settled at the mo and a few nice reports from school detailing positives (good work in maths, reading, comprehension, some writing, no toilet accidents.) I say at the mo as who knows where we may be next week.

openupmyeagereyes · 14/03/2023 09:58

dimples I agree, it’s not helpful to you or your ds for them not to give you the full picture. Even if it’s not massively challenging, the frequency will show that a different setting might be more appropriate for ds. I would meet with the SENCO and discuss.

Sorry you’ve all been ill carrie, hopefully these bugs will clear up when spring is properly here. Also, to use the R word is awful. I would have gone ballistic with my parents - and have before about some things. I find it harder with PIL. They mean well but his mum will, for instance, use the word stupid when she really means silly. I don’t want her using that word with ds as he already has low confidence and he isn’t stupid at all. I picked her up on something else the last time we saw them.

The melatonin doesn’t really work. I will speak to the GP again in a month or so.

OP posts:
carriebradshawwithlessshoes · 14/03/2023 10:17

I think the PIL situation is def harder Open! MIL is one of those people who will say what she wants (and is very aggressive and argumentative generally) but as soon as anyone says anything to her she bursts into tears then it’s poor her, she’s so upset, feeling fragile etc. and the whole of DHs family panders to her then.

it’s so frustrating!! 😖😖😖

openupmyeagereyes · 14/03/2023 10:23

Ah, narcissistic and manipulative. Definitely much easier with your own parents than in-laws.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.