Primary School Auties 10: Summer and beyond 2022

[LightTripper]

Thread 10.

Ooops, sorry, filled up the last thread without noticing - here we are at THREAD 10!! (How did that happen?)

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022

Thanks for the new thread Light and congrats (if that’s the right word) on your autism dx, I’m not sure if you posted about it previously. A very positive thing to have.

dimples ds said he missed his duvet last night. I’m just going to let him have it tonight. He’ll spend most time with it kicked off anyway.

Sorry to hear about your dn, I hope they are better soon.

We had another zoom with school this morning, it was less successful than yesterday. Even when he’s not physically around the other kids he can’t pay attention to the whole thing.

Oh yes maybe I didn't! It was an assessment rather than a formal Dx (didn't feel right when there are such long waits for Dx to take up a slot), but it's given me the confidence to identify as autistic too. It felt surprisingly good and has really freed up a lot of head space, as I hoped it would! Not sure the released headspace is being used for anything very productive but that's the next challenge! 😂

Sorry the Zoom wasn't so good - is it end of term on Friday?

Light I think you mentioned the assessment but not the outcome but I may have missed it before. Glad it's given you confidence and cleared your head.

End of term is Thursday for us. The Zoom is a bit frustrating for me as it's mostly just fun stuff but he is even resistant to joining in that and needs a push, doesn't stay at the table and we only did half of the hour. Hoping consultant can help with growth mindset and resilience but it will take time of course.

Of course it's entirely possible he has ADHD as well, we will speak to the EP about it if we ever get to see her. He does focus when he wants to but I'm not sure that precludes some of the different types.

Thanks for starting a new thread Light and glad to hear that the assessment was a positive experience for you.

I am so grateful for these threads. It was a v fortunate day that I spotted the original thread - I didn't think that the discussion would still be ongoing 5 years later. When I applied to adopt the 2nd time I included you all as part of my support network. I know if I'm puzzled by DS's behaviour or how best to meet his needs that I can always get a helpful, supportive response here. Thank you!

Thanks also for the book recommendations Light. I think that they will be v helpful for my niece.

Open shame that the online sessions weren't accessible

Aw dimples that’s so nice to hear. I am very grateful for these threads too. So much has changed for us since they started. Some good, some less so. I still wonder where we’d be without covid but I’ll never know.

Ds’ room even hotter tonight. It’s supposed to cool down and a chance of rain, but I think it will take a while for the heat to come out of the bricks. Thank goodness for fans.

That is lovely dimples! I love this thread too. Even though we all have quite different DC in some ways everyone is so constructive and helpful and everyone "gets it" at a fundamental level - so far from guaranteed in the wider world. There's none of that crappy "why don't you just try...?" I love that everyone is so positive about their kids too - they are all amazing people, as much as they face a lot of difficulties and problems.

Based on the forecast I was expecting last night to be better but it felt worse to me - I think there was just so much residual heat trapped in the house, even as the temperature was falling outside. It even rained a bit for us which was lovely! Did anybody see that Drew Barrymore clip? I basically recreated that in a slightly quieter way outside the Vue cinema 😁 (where I went to pick up our hats that I left under my seat there, having had to rush home to meet the Sainsbury's delivery I forgot was coming 😣 ... I think my brain melted yesterday - not entirely sure it is back to its normal consistency yet).

I was talking to a lovely older colleague yesterday who told me he has terminal cancer, and it became clear through the conversation that he suspects it would have been caught earlier if not for Covid (it was missed on early scans and then he struggled to get follow up for his symptoms, even though he always suspected it was what it turned out to be). It was so sad, I didn't know what to say really. He was very stoic about it but it's just utterly shit. This pandemic has changed so many things for better but also very much for worse, and probably in ways we don't notice too. In case we ever had any illusions we are in control of our lives!

I agree about this thread Dimples, definitely part of my support network too.

Light it felt worse here too, our bedroom was way too hot to sleep well, hopefully tonight will be cooler.
That's very sad about your colleague, very hard to know what to say.

Hope ds had a better night open.

Last day of school for both kids tomorrow. Can't believe how quickly the summer holidays have come around this year.

Light that's awful, so sad for your colleague and you

I found last night horrible too, the heat was just so oppressive. I'm not sure we had any rain but we heard thunder about 11ish. Bedrooms down to 29 so far today, hopefully a bit lower by tonight. Ds slept better anyway, up at 4 but that's pretty normal for him, sadly.

Last day of school tomorrow but it's a family day so not a typical day. I expect we won't be there very long. I hope that September is more positive for him. I chatted to the forest school teacher last week and she's spoken to the head about ds having 2 x 30 min sessions with her and me a week which would be great and something else to add in for him. I did warn her that it might take him a few sessions to engage, but we'll see how it goes (if it gets ok'd).

Thanks for the thread light.

You are all the only people outside of family I talk too. Billy no mates 🤣

Ds is back at school today, we had an email to say the temperature was expected to be lower so they can go in, feck off! Regardless I was sending him in, even if the sun had fell down onto the playground that kid was getting into his taxi! 😂😂

I’m such a petty fucker I rang the 2 local special schools on Monday to see if they had closed and they hadn’t. His school bore the shit out of me.

He breaks up Friday anyway. 7 weeks of soul zapping on its way, yippppppeeeeee!!!

danni I'm glad you find support in the thread then. How has ds been over the last week? Are you noticing more difference at home yet?

I think that the fact that our dc are all different (despite the similarities too) is one of the reasons we can support each other. We all have different experience and a slightly different viewpoint which can be useful. For me anyway.

I'm starting to plan out a framework for our 6 week break. Things we'll do weekly and then other things to add in each week. I wrote a list of things down a few weeks ago. I need to have a plan or ds will just want to spend all his time on screens!

He’s been ok at home open. Not too good / not too bad, can’t say anymore really.

I don’t have anything major planned for the holidays, we are going to Liverpool for 2 days towards the end of summer, then just trips to the park / beach. Same old shit I imagine.

There will be plenty of time on screens here, mostly when dh is working and me and ds don’t have much to do.

Aha I found you all, I thought the thread had been quiet 🤣🤣🤣
We are pottering along, DS already disregulated and anxious re school ending for summer and 6 weeks of time to fill. I looked at the adhd checklist again today and he ticks so many boxes. Like, he is never still and always wants to be doing multiple things at once, fidgeting with stuff, impulsive etc. If he's anxious,he gets more hyper but he is always always fidgeting with something. But is that adhd or part of his asd pda or sensory stuff argh?? He always interrupts, only wants to talk about his own make believe stuff or maths or game shows or racing, always humming and moving etc. But then he can focus on stuff he's interested in. I just don't know and the NHS lists are so long and parenting courses argh!! It's interesting because even in his new school where asd is common, no one presents quite like him in terms of behavior management and hyperactivity and inattentiveness. But then he has this great sense of humour. I am a bit confused with it all.
How is everyone else's weekends?! We went to a family party which was fine until DS started eating all the party food laughing and my dad told him no, which is the worst thing to do, and it's stuff like that really that leads me back to adhd! Still, we are off to the cinema tomorrow hopefully!

Back from hols and currently under about 1000 suitcases but just marking my place here now I’ve found you all…… 😎

Gah, novice pet owners. Desperately trying to find a cattery for the cat so we can book a holiday! Found a lovely place to stay but we really should have planned much further ahead! We will need to book Easter when we get back from this - if we get anywhere.

Try catinaflat for a catsitter?

Yep catinaflat is pretty good I've found.

Thanks, will take a look.

Calling any Londoners? A miraculous opportunity to go away for an eve with DH has come up in London! I may as well be going to Saudi Arabia for what I know…

anyway, any decent eateries around Dorset Sq? We are not ‘oh I need a Michelin star’ people just a nice Italian/ general cuisine would be great! Thought it was worth a shot asking (will try not to look a complete tourist with a map….!)

Hope that you manage to sort the cat out soon Open. Do you know any teenagers you could pay to come in and feed it etc?

DD really wants a cat. It's her birthday on Thursday. As DS and DD are both cruel to animals there are no pets in our future. But DD saw a cat we hadn't seen before in our garden and announced that it is her birthday cat. I fear Thursday will be a big disappointment.

DS and I had a lovely day out at the weekend. A tour of a cathedral tower and meeting the bell ringers. Spiral staircases and church bells - he was so happy and even though he was very excited he did an excellent job of listening to instructions. They would have actually let him join the bell ringers but a 3 hour round trip seemed a bit much! And they definitely saw him at his most compliant

That sounds like a great day out dimples. The birthday card sounds worrying!

Carrie there are lots of nice restaurants on Marylebone High street, which isn't too far from Dorset Square. If you like Austrian food we had a great dinner a while ago at Fischer's. How lovely to have an evening out!

Hope you get the cat sorted open.

Well summer holidays already feels like it's been going on forever. Dd is in holiday club the next couple of weeks and I'm wondering what on earth I'm going to do with ds, but then again he seems happy enough just going to the park and the supermarket so maybe I don't need to worry about dragging him off to do new things.

dimples maybe get her a cat soft toy, or one of those fur real ones that purrs and moves? What a lovely day out for ds.

liv sounds like you can chill out with ds. Is he more relaxed with dd not around?

We are going swimming today and have a play date and lunch tomorrow morning. Thursday I think we’ll just visit my mum and then I want to plan a trip somewhere for Friday. Ds pretty relaxed so far 🤞

Still haven’t found a cattery…

Have fun swimming open.

It's kind of easier when ds and dd are together as they play lots. Obviously they also argue a bit but not that much.

I'm going to attempt to take ds to the cinema for the first time ever today.

Hope it goes well liv

Good luck finding a cattery @openupmyeagereyes (or failing that would somebody come and feed the cat? Maybe if anybody has a local cleaner they would be interested - or you could try NextDoor to see if anyone has a cat sitter or is interested in swapping cat-sitting duties?) There must be students on holiday around who would like to earn a bit of money but it's finding the right one that's tricky unless you already know somebody you would trust.

The bell tower visit sounds lovely @dimples76 , glad he could hold it together!

@EsmeWeatherwaxToYou the more I read about ADHD the more there seem to be all kinds of links and connections and I'm unsure that there is really a good clear "boundary" where autism and ends and ADHD begins. They are both to do with attention, sensory (and maybe even social?) Definitely worth exploring if you think ADHD meds might help him.

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes good luck with the unpacking! I'm afraid despite being a Londoner I don't know that area at all. I have had nice meals on Marylebone High Street as @livpotter suggested, and there must also be nice places in St John's Wood (north of you) and then you are getting into Mayfair to the South which is posh and therefore very ££££ in general. Honestly if it was me I'd just be checking out Google reviews - looks like there are lots of nice Italians nearby! Locando Locatelli used to be "the Italian" to go to (my Italian boss even took me and it was her "work canteen" for a while), but that was a million years ago and these places can end up coasting on the name, charging high prices but not really delivering, so I'd hesitate to recommend without having been more recently!

We haven't gone away yet so doing a mix of museums and parks. Seems good so far though everyone's been under the weather in one way or another, so I hope we're all well by the time we go away!