Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

dimples belated happy birthday. Are you home yet?

Thanks @carriebradshawwithlessshoes have seen similar climbing things def worth a try! Actually ordered some quite similar stepping stone sensory things for the garden so hopefully they are a hit! Been up since 3 and she’s trying to pull me to the garden now… not happening at 0430 ha!

@dimples76 yes belated happy bday! Train sounds like a stress hope it wasn’t as bad as expected.

@dimples76 Happy Birthday!! Glad the show was amazing and hope DS wasn't too tricky when you got back.
@Ahna65 we got DS a wobble board which was so helpful at that age and then the trampoline was really helpful too in terms of his ability to regulate.

@MoominMamasTribe yes wobble board sounds wise to try too. It’s just keeping DD2 (no fear!!) away from these things sometimes.

we want to get a trampoline for the garden (have a very mini indoor one) but would want it dig into ground for safety (also with DD2 being unstable) and was thinking next year because have spent a lot on garden stuff this year.. but might need to see if can roll all bday presents into one, feels like having one sooner would help!

wishing everyone a good week.

Ahna ours doesn’t dig in. It’s quite big though and is v stable.

yes happy bthday dimples!!!!

Ahna all outside trampolines come with a safety net now so they’re quite safe as long as they’re zipped in.

Thanks for the birthday wishes. We made it home eventually. When DS saw me walking down the garden path he ran out of the house, gave me a hug said that he missed me. So that was rather lovely. DD on the other hand told me that she doesn't love me any more. Oh well, can't win them all!

Our garden / city is sooo windy - think that's why everyone here seems to have the trampolines dug in! Will research a bit more though

Aw @dimples76 hug sounds lovely. Hope DD is in a better humour today.

@Ahna65 ours is fixed in with fixings and has a net.

Ours is fixed to the ground too. I got a set from Amazon.

Oh nice! Things have moved on since I was a teen clearly... thanks both!

How’s everyone doing? We’re having a good week. So nice to have the sun out after so much rain and we’ve had some very successful trips.

I spoke to the EP at school yesterday and she said she’s going to start doing a cognitive assessment with ds after the break. I think it’s necessary (I asked for it) and hopefully it will highlight areas where he needs support but I’m still a bit nervous about what it might show. That’s if he complies of course!

So looking forward to a week off next week.

An early belated happy half term to all! We are heading this eve to the south coast for 10 nights so hoping it’s warm down there! I’ll be in touch!

Early not belated my phones gone mad in the heat!!!! 🤣🤣

We're enjoying the sunshine too and DD seems to be having a good week (hopefully that's not related to DS being on a school residential)! School are still insisting she doesn't need an ehcp and on weeks like this it's easy to believe them, but told me to talk to SIASS who I'm waiting on a call back from.

Hope that you have good hols Carrie.

Open hope that the EP is able to offer some insights. DS is meant to be having a cognitive assessment when he has his autism/ADHD assessment....whenever that is.

Jules hope that things continue to go way. I know my sister finds it harder to work out/secure what my niece needs who is autistic but masks a lot at school compared to her twin brother whose needs are more obvious (he has an EHCP, she doesn't).

I just came back into the living room to be told that we have a pet - DS and DD had trapped a fly

DS is having a difficult week as it's arts week at school and everything is different. There is a colour run tomorrow which DS is looking forward to but I wonder if he will enjoy it

Hi all! We had a great experience yesterday. DS does an activity with school and we went to watch. He did so well, listening and following instructions calmly, and got a medal. He looked so happy and proud of himself. We never thought he'd have opportunities like this, so it was amazing to see.
We are off on a long weekend camping on Sat. Can't wait! DS feeling anxious about tge change but also looking forward to it. @carriebradshawwithlessshoes hope you have a lovely holiday.
@dimples76 lol at the fly!
@Jules912 that's so tricky if she's masking. I haven't got experience of it as DS has always behaved similarly across settings.
@openupmyeagereyes I hope the cognitive assessment is useful.
Have a good week all! Almost half term...!!

carrie enjoy your holiday.

dimples congrats on the pet! Hope ds settles down.

Moomin that’s fantastic, well done to your ds Enjoy your camping break.

Phew - we made it to half term

It was 'break the rules' non uniform day at DS's school today. DS went in his Elsa dress which attracted a lot of attention. DS did not care about that or what anyone said, he just looked v proud and happy. I overheard one girl saying to her friend 'DS is really slaying it today'!

Got a call today from the case worker at the LA. She is only just sending off the consultation to the special school that I want today. I guess better late than never, she did say we had a strong case for special school. Fingers crossed!

@MoominMamasTribe that’s lovely :)

enhoy half term and holidays those of you that are away. @carriebradshawwithlessshoes hows the screaming been?

no news here really. Climbing is worse than ever and and Dd now wears a t shirt w the telephone number of her school
on her back because they are so
nervous. And that’s a 1 to 2 staff ratio!

im also really frustrated by our SALT. She’s so so unreliable. She is one of a handful in area who claims to have autism /
pre verbal specialism , also DD knew her from when she was previously affiliated w the SEN school, but she cancels so often and she just never replies to me. Eg this week i message saying I’d heard from the nanny she was using pictos, great, can she email the images so I can give it a go. Also how did the session go, etc.. Just nada, and this is typical - I just find it poor service when she’s working for children / parents who probably without exception are pretty stressed about communication issues. She gets paid directly by insurance which is part of the problem. And there’s such a shortage! But i feel like we are making no progress and I wonder if the hour is better spent one on one with the nanny who will at least let me know what’s happening and seems to be invested in DD in a different way. Rant over !

have a great weekend all x

I hope everyone is enjoying the break so far. We haven’t done much yet, seeing friends tomorrow. Ds slept until 6:00 this morning which was wonderful.

dimples glad ds was able to wear his Elsa dress. What a great theme, carte blanche to be a bit out there and it not to be an issue. Not that it should be, hopefully you know what I mean.

Ahna sorry the SALT is being unreliable, very annoying for her not to come back to you. How long has she been working with dd now? Worrying re the climbing but at least they are being proactive. What sort of area is the school in?

We’ve nearly finished the thread. Does anyone want to start a new one?

6am - that's a proper lie in for you isn't it Open!

I tried to start a new thread but the app kept glitching on my phone so I gave up.

Saturday was pretty awful as I took the 2 of mine swimming on my own. After a shaky start (the slide and the learner pool were both closed which left the baby pool (v shallow) and the main pool (v cold), we were all having fun. Then whilst we were in the baby pool it all went wrong. DS pushed a baby (they were in their Mum's and
arms). I didn't see it happen as I was looking at DD at the time (but was very close by). The Mum was understandably very angry which scared DS and she did not accept my apology/explanation. I took my 2 back to the main pool and all was well again, the other family got out a bit later and we headed back to the little pool. I would have just left but I felt bad for DD and thought that for DS it would have been better to leave on a good note. This turned out to be a big mistake as DS then tried repeatedly to shove DD underwater. Totally ignored me - I pretty much had to rip him off her. Probably one of the worst moments of my life. Any way then DS refused to leave the pool and ran away from me whilst I carried DD who was crying her eyes out. Needless to say, we will not be going swimming again for the foreseeable future.

In general DS is getting more aggressive.

On a positive swimming note school have said that DS can go swimming x2 a week for the rest of term.

I hope there aren’t any babies at the school swimming pool dimples 😳🤣 Bless you. Sorry about your stressful swimming experience. Your ds sounds v similar to mine in the fact he doesn’t give a fuck about the chaos he causes you!! They just don’t know do they. I know how stressful it is so you deffo have my sympathy.

Ds behaves the same, I do worry about the future, you can’t be thumping babies can you, I always think what if he does it when he’s a teenager?! Ds if we are at the park, and the littler ones are up the steps for the slide, he pushes them over to get past, he always gets stalked and told off and warned to watch the little ones, but I know what you mean about the other families, I’m finding myself on the verge of being arrested most weeks at the minute thanks to ds.

I tend to try go out when it’s ‘quiet’ now, I’ve always avoided peak times, but I’m trying to avoid all the conflict, it’s every time we leave the house at the minute. We went to the beach at 9 this morning, ds got his beach shoes wet and when we walked back home about half 11 his shoes were squelching so he had the idea to kick his shoes to make water come out at a dog as we passed as he wanted to ‘soak the dogs eyes’ this is what he told the dog owner, so you can imagine her face, filthy looking and tutting, so I told ds off, obviously, that’s not acceptable. Nothing ds does is really.

But at the same time I wanted to shake the woman. Even if ds is in the wrong, I am fucking sick of society and the way they look down on the ‘naughty’ kids. It’s not just a one off, it’s every single pissing week im encountering some kind of prick and their opinion. Tutting, commenting, judging, blaming.

I honestly can’t keep quiet and I’m going to end up getting myself into trouble. I’m getting into some real arguments about it all.

We have been getting to the park for 8am, to avoid any other people, but I’m getting irritated when other families have the same idea. Fuck off and come at a normal time will you!