Primary school auties step into Christmas and the New Year - thread 8

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thanks for the new thread @openupmyeagereyes

Thanks open!

Thanks Open

Thank you!!!! X

Well yesterday was rather a disaster. I did two separate swabs on ds and got blood on both so they couldn't be used. First from one nostril and then the other. He wouldn't let me swab his throat. They gave me a home test to do but we haven't tried it yet. Technically he's not a close contact (and the Head agreed) because he was last in the school Wednesday and when he's there he's not really in the classroom. His TA has tested negative and she's the one who has been coming out to the car to try and persuade him in.

Gah. I think I will keep him off today again, mainly because the kids are allowed to be in school pending PCR results if they have a negative lateral flow test which I think is a bit risky. Plus, let's face it, he won't go in anyway. I'm still waiting for my results. Monday should have filtered out any children with positive PCR's.

dimples I hope you're all ok.

Oh no open. Sounds like it's very unlikely he's at risk of having covid though. I had to do a test on ds this morning. I will be amazed if there is any valid result from it as it was almost impossible to do! They really need a better way to test kids.

Ds has an inset day today and I have a zoom meeting with his teacher later to talk about his goals for the next term. Very strange as I've not met his teacher for this year at all.

That sounds stressful @openupmyeagereyes - I think that sounds a sensible approach.

We just did DS's nativity which was very cute (he was second donkey ). Not sure he said his line but never mind, it was all very sweet and he was enjoying himself!

Feeling very paranoid about Covid these days - we seem to be the only family I know who haven't had it recently and we're just coming into the danger zone for an isolated Christmas....

Thanks Open we're all still at home. I had a call from school yesterday checking that DS wasn't going in today - there are so many staff off sick they would really struggle to find someone to support him. Hopefully DS's TA has made a good recovery in which case I think that she'll be back in school on Tuesday. DS and DD are basically v snotty now with occasional coughs. It's me who is struggling to shake off the cough.

Liv I am sure we're all going to get covid in time for Christmas.

How lovely re the nativity Light. Everything is online here and I think that this covid outbreak may have even knocked that on its head.

Light glad that you and ds enjoyed his nativity.

liv hope Zoom went well.

dimples sorry you're still feeling poorly.

Here's hoping none of us have covid this Christmas. I am still waiting for my results, the longest of the three tests I've taken. The test centre was very busy and they said they have had queues down the road. It was nothing like that the last time we went there. My first one a year ago I went to a drive-through and got my results in 12 hours.

A lazy day here again though I did get ds out to the park this afternoon. He woke up at 1am last night but luckily was persuaded to stay in bed, though he moved to our bed after half an hour and after a while dh moved to his bed as he said he had no room! He went back to sleep at 2ish and slept until 5:30.

My test result was negative thankfully. I wasn’t really expecting it to be positive but then I wasn’t last year either! It’s crazy that we’re nearly two years into this, I wonder when it will settle down.

Glad your test was negative open. Ds's was too.

Zoom meeting went well, it was nice to see what ds had been up to in class. It was funny though because his teacher was telling me 'oh ds can now consistently count up to 20' and when I told him at home ds knows all his times tables, can count consistently up to 100 and do quite advanced additions and multiplication in his head he was really shocked!
Ds has always been really good at only showing certain people certain things. Or only doing certain behaviours in front of certain people. Same with food, he will only eat particular foods in one setting and not in others. Does anyone else's child do this?

Hooray for negative tests.
Yes @livpotter DS used to be a lot like that with showing what he could do at school. He's still funny about school stuff being at school and home stuff at home. He can do all his timestables to 12s here but school haven't got that far yet. However, he often then forgets how to add up, which number to subtract first etc. So its patchy . He's also really obsessed with minus numbers??
Met Santa yesterday with our local asd group and went to a show, all the kids loved it, DS was dancing crazy. Was lovely to see him being his authentic self. Got a soft play bday party in 15 mins though...send halp!! Got leggings on at least ifor when I obv will have to get in argh!

Consider it your gym session for today Magrat good luck and have a mulled wine at the ready for afters!!

Liv I have whole threads on this! Only last week sent a recording of DS and his maths work to senco she replied saying she was amazed at what DS was doing (DD had recorded it) could she show the other staff? What I’ve always found disappointing tho is in assessing DSs abilities etc etc they have never acknowledged it. If I had a £ every time they have just said miserably back to me ‘but that’s not the child we see at school’ or a slight variant I could retire.

Whilst DS loved the panto etc he will not engage with stuff like Xmas plays at school. I just think he doesn’t get it , doesn’t really understand why he has to do what they are all doing when he could do something more fun for him elsewhere. Anyone else got this? What do you do about it (or perhaps there’s nothing i can do??). Did any of them get better at involvement in things like this as they got older? Obv DSs speech isn’t there and he has no social understanding as to why he should he doing what the others are

The 2 posters on here I always get confused with is light and liv… so sorry remind me, are your DC in ms or SS, do you have other younger/ older DC (NT or SEN?). I have got the rest of you!!!!

Glad it's not just my ds then!

Good luck with the party today magrat.

Carrie I have two dc. Ds (8) is in ss and dd (6) is neurotypical.
Ds never used to get involved with the Christmas play etc because he found it so overwhelming and noisy. At his new school last week he got best drama student of the week! So he seems to be more keen to be involved at the new school.

That’s amazing liv!! Thank you, I’ve got you now in my head!!!

And no not just your DS. Our case worker says it’s v v common actually.

liv ds is funny about food in general and only eats biscuits at school. I think he would eat peanut butter on toast if he was allowed but obviously he can't. He won't eat toast with just plain butter, he doesn't like the smell.

Our ds is mostly the same at home and school, which has been quite helpful I think. I'm very impressed with all these maths whizzes, ds is not one of those at the moment. He struggles to remember his number bonds which I find very strange as his memory is very good and he knows many whole books by heart etc. I think it's perhaps because it doesn't interest him? Still, he has lots of other strengths

We went on a Santa train yesterday, not the one we typically do as I forgot to book early enough. Ds did well though did not want to go near Santa which is typical for him.

carrie ds has been hit and miss with Christmas shows. His current school do a very fancy performance with all KS1 children included, it's really quite impressive. In reception ds attended a lot of the rehearsals (which go on for ages) but refused to do the first performance to KS2 and some elderly guests. He was then off with a bad cold the day of the evening performance. In year 1 he did his group's song and dance for both performances (he did the actions but didn't sing), but as soon as he was finished he was off back to the classroom with his TA rather than sitting for the rest of the show. I still cry now when I watch it as it was so lovely. Last year they did a class video and he did that too.

Magrat enjoy the party!

Thanks! It went well overall, we managed to spot DS starting to get overwhelmed and leave in time, but then came home and DH wanted to watch the whole F1 grand prix. DS loves the highlights but got bored, DH trying to listen to team radios...you can imagine, things got a bit tense! Still, we got the Xmas lights up, got most of the decorations done, and now I have wine with the strictly semi final! BTW, Hamilton was robbed!

@danni0509 we're getting to the end of our reading champion books. Have you found anything good for the next levels?

We won't have any from school over the holidays so I need to stock up!

Feeling a very bad mum this morning I know I’ve probably messed up.

Nativity play today, it’s recorded, we had to consent to our child being recorded so it was an opt in thing. Parents then get the link.

So against the back drop of.. school constantly moaning he won’t stay still, won’t engage with what they are doing etc etc I’ve not opted in which means he won’t be doing it with the others. Now, I don’t think he will care at all, he’s not bothered about a lot of this stuff, DD was trying to give him a card this morning and he was more interested in his breakfast. If all he’s doing is (at best) standing with his one to one whilst all the others are reciting the tale of Nazareth and at worst running off I also don’t want the sympathy votes from parents watching it.

I had this all last year. I know it’s a mainstream school but AIBU to have ever thought they just may have been some other kids there a bit like him?? I feel he’s so conspicuous… for him and selfish as it is for me too. I also feel that schools flood of negativity about him has made me very nervous about what positions I want to put him in there if that makes sense, like not this one where if what they are saying is right he is just set up to fail.

Anyway it’s done now. I will be glad when school is finished it causes me nothing but stress…

I also feel we just have no communication with school (unless I call up to ask something even then the senco is only there PT.) Things get back to me… the OT saying he was doing really well in the last session with an app she’s using, SENIT rang to say thru had bern into school to observe him etc etc. I knew nothing about the later and although I knew OT had been in I knew nothing from school about how he’s doing, what he’s doing etc.

Maybe I’m expecting too much but a bit of a heads up about whether he’s joining in stuff like the nativity may have just helped a bit with my decision. Christ, should it be this bloody hard work sending your child to school?! Makes me thing v v often just how easy we had it with DD. She has got through most of her nursery/ school life with me barely knowing the names of her teachers (because I’ve never had to!)

carrie honestly, if you really think that he's not at all interested in the nativity then don't beat yourself up about it. It can be really hard to watch the other children enjoying taking part in something that yours won't engage with at all. Do something nice as a family instead maybe?

Remind me, is ds in reception or Y1?