Primary school auties step into Christmas and the New Year - thread 8

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Magrat ds seems ok so far, just the usual behaviours. Ended up in my bed again last night. Dh a bit peeved but it doesn't bother me so much.

Have you got any good Christmas book recommendations? I finished my usuals too early. I downloaded Midnight in Everwood after seeing it in a magazine but it's a bit girly.

We got a negative PCR result today - phew! So it looked like Christmas plans were back on course. We popped around to my Mum's house to see my Gran who has not been well. While we were there the Dr came and he said that she will die in the next few days. She is 100 and said to me a couple of years ago that she had had a wonderful life and was ready to go. I am relieved for her that the end is drawing close but obviously sad. Really struggled with DS as when I was trying to comfort my Mum he started whining and screaming about going to the staircase at the National Trust place. I know he can't help it and it's not helpful to describe it as being self-centred but it is so difficult when a loved one is crying in front of him but his sole focus is on what he wants.

We made it to the NT later and the hall was beautifully decorated for Christmas. It was really stunning. Unfortunately I had not realised that the upstairs is closed at the moment so DS could only admire the staircases from the bottom. I thought that he was going to kick off again but he took the disappointment well.

I am definitely ready for bed

I’m so sorry about your gran dimples

Oh @dimples76 sorry about your gran.

DS lost a tooth tonight and another big one coming in so maybe that was part of what was bothering him! I've just started reading Rotherweird which is good so far @openupmyeagereyes. Piranesi is one if the best things I've ever read. The Aaronivitch Rivers of London books are fab comic fantasy. Pratchett's Hogfather recommended for a more festive vibe!

Magrat was looking more for festive recommendations. I’ve already listened to a Christmas carol, hogfather, and skipping Christmas. I forgot I have the audiobook of the lion the witch and the wardrobe so might do that next, sort of Christmassy. Will save anything more serious for afterwards. I read the first two or three Rivers of London books years ago, they were quite good.

Ds didn’t go to sleep until 9:20 last night, up at 5 still 🙄. He was exhausted but lay in bed talking non-stop for about an hour and three-quarters.

Thanks Magrat and Open.

Without wishing to rub salt in the wounds. DS always used to be an early riser, never slept beyond 6 until this year. This morning when DD and I got up just after 6 he told us that it was far too early to get up and has gone back to sleep.

Open most of the Christmassy books I have read have been romantic ones which were instantly forgettable (at least none spring to mind). I have bought my Mum for Christmas a book called 'Gifts' by Laura Barnett - it had positive reviews but obviously I have not read it yet! Or you could read Charles Dickens?

dimples it gives me hope, no salt here!

Sounds good to me too @dimples76!

Sorry about you grandma dimples. 100 is an amazing age!

I enjoyed the rivers of London series too. Couldn't get to grips with Rotherweird although I saw that a new one has come out recently so might give it a go. I really want to read Piranesi.

The kids are still getting us up between about 5-7am. 7am is a heavenly lie in in this house. I know it's much worse for others!

We've had quite a week here. My mum who has been very ill for a while died on the weekend. Then both the cooker and the dishwasher in the new house broke. We had to cancel having family for Christmas as it would be too much to host. Ds has been a bit manic, mainly because he picks up in my emotions but actually the kids have generally been handling all the change (and random workmen coming into the house) admirably. I'm really hoping for 2022 to be a better year!

Oh no, liv. I’m so sorry for your loss

Thank you open, it's been quite a week!

So sorry Liv and Dimples x

What is everyone doing Christmas Day? We are off to SILS and her DS. I’m a bag of nerves… they have no kids, a perfect house, not v child tolerant, both sets of parents going who have nothing in common. And yes Magrat DS manic at the mo, not sure if Xmas or just because he is…

What could possibly go wrong?!

Sorry SIL and her husband.

These visits always start the same. sILs husband hands me a glass of something vintage in a ££££ glass which I clutch intently but the second I put it down DS knocks it over. Last time I saved the glass but not the wine. Time before that both went.

Give me a prosecco in a plastic glass!

carrie that does sound stressful. They will likely have kids and then see the error of their uptight ways. You can smile smugly then, in the meantime, grin and bear it and bribe ds if you have to. Oh and drink the champagne quickly.

We have the in-laws coming here and I am cooking lunch. It should be ok but will involve ds' game and YouTube rather than Christmassy Programmes or films. Unless I move his switch into the playroom, which I might do but that means that we won't see him while he's in there.

He's currently whinging about the TV, it started less than ten minutes after it was turned off. I really need to crack this next year.

They can’t have them Open…which is played up in big ‘we would never have wanted any anyway’ style.

Like your drinking advice… !! Sold!!!!! 🍷🍷🍷🍷🍷

Invite them to yours next year @carriebradshawwithlessshoes and show them what a wonderful neurodivergent family Xmas looks like!!
@livpotter so sorry for your loss x

Ouch, sorry carrie that was a bit insensitive. You'd think, being family, they'd be interested in making things easier for you and ds. I hope it all goes rather better than you expect. I had a friend who tried and was unable to have children that then became very anti-children (I suspect purely as a defence mechanism) so I do know what it can be like. She told me repeatedly when I was pregnant with she thought babies were boring. I strongly suspect she's ASD now I know more about it. She moved away though so I don't see her any more.

I have finally done some more wrapping. Just dh and ds to do now.

Btw I meant I was insensitive. One should never assume.

Liv so sorry to read your news. Take care.

I have just got back from visiting my Gran. Unfortunately my uncle and aunt were there. My aunt for some reason thinks it's okay to make jokey observations on my parenting. Today in the space of 30 mins: DD is much better behaved when you're not around, why do you let DS bring that pillow here, give them to me for a week and I'll get them sleeping in their own beds/toilet trained etc. We're seeing them tomorrow as well. Aggghhh!

Christmas Eve we traditionally have a big family tea party (in the past up to 40 people). This year scaled back due to Covid there will be 15 of us. Christmas day is my sister, her kids, my Mum and my Gran (although she will be in bed). I'm lucky that my sister's kids are SN too - we have a relaxed approach and just let the kids come and go from the table as they please. My Mum and I share the cooking.

Carrie I agree with Open - drinking quickly is the only way forward!

Liv. So sorry about your mum

Also dimples

Xx

Gah, worst bedtime ever with ds I think. He’s only just gone to sleep. Completely disregulated and messing around all evening. I don’t know if it’s excitement about Christmas, anxiety about school, a phase or the new normal. Send help!

Just a quickie to say don’t apologise Open… it’s a long and complex story which id be happy to share but you never know who is reading and it would be very outing. They are older now, so the time has passed. It’s not really her, he’s very controlling.

Families eh??

Here’s to fast drinking 😬

DS just driving me MAD. Taken to random happy screaming, unexpectedly and like a scene out of Psycho. People are jumping out of their skins left right and centre. Even a dog nearly keeled over yesterday! Then he’s taken to long phases of just going hmmmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm (in a happy way.)

Never really done this before!!