new 'SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK' thread

[tibsy]

hi ladies, the other one ran out of space, so if no one else starts a new thread, here it is....

sorry meant to say in that, it is DPs brother, my BIL.

pavlov that is really annoying but i've found the lack of sleep has caused many a bicker in our house that are soon forgotten. He should definitely ask bil and mil to not call past 7/8pm at night x

AM i being unreasonable? I dont want him not to speak to his family. I just want it to be a)at a sensible hour - his MIL usually calls at 8pm. b)arrange a time to speak so he can take the phone in another room before it rings. c)get his brother to hurry the eff up and move here .

Grrr.

Tam - love the new name! I know, but this is something that has always annoyed me even before LO came. I used to go to bed at 10:30pm, not unreasonable I think. BIL usually calls at 11:30pm or later. I guess I am honoured he called at 10pm this time!

god..these babies!! mine was totally sparked out on my lap just now, put her down in her pram and she immediatley sprang into life wailing and screaming. so am now typing one handed again with her dozing on me...
i really think this is the first day i have hated since becoming a mummy. the lack of sleep is making me lose my sense of humour today. when does it get better??

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. It's a joke in our house that if anyone rings past 9 we don't answer. Maybe you should go out with the girls one night and leave him to babysit but phone him at 10.30/ 11 to see how he likes having to settle a baby woken by the phone!

kate totally sympathise. The lack of sleep does start to screw with your mind. Know i keep banging on about it but have you bought/read NCSS yet? i really think it could work for you as you dd is so young. It still allows you to be there when she needs you and keep the closeness but very gently and gradually help her sleep for longer. She says the main thing is to get them napping by any means (held, fed, rocked etc) as having sleep means you need more sleep! then when you having them napping better you can look at nighttime.
why don't you just get in bed with her now and have a doze. She may sleep for an hour or more if you're all tucked up together (?)

kate it will get better......
pav, it would chuff me off too, am sure bil's wife/partner would feel the same too if their lo was woken regularly
hi tam!

Hi Tibs

Morning all

Last night a slight improvement: asleep by 7 (bf at 6 then shushed to sleep). woke at 9 and 11. Then woke every hour, but not fed each time. Awake at 6 and in bed with us, slept till 8:30. So still pretty bad, but not as bad as the night before. Trying to get DS used to his new boiler suit, as a) he keeps kicking out of his swaddle and b) if he does wake, can't soothe him back to sleep bu stroking his hand if swaddled. Will give it a week, but if still waking hourly it'll be back to the swaddle!

Cruisemum: he yelled for about 10 mins to start with, DH went in and picked him up for a cuddle, then I cuddled him till he calmed down (NO feed), went back to bed calm but awake and I shiushed him to sleep. Not exactly CC but an improvement on our usual routine (BF till v sleepy then gingerly place in cot ). For the first time I am considering some kind of sleep training, but wil have to wait until these wretched teeth are through.

at those who had better nights (despite inconsiderate relatives!). Kate: hope you've managed to get a nap in today.

swizz, amazing what we consider an improvement isnt it?! i'm trying to cut down feeds at night in a bid to curb wakings. dont know if thats going to work but can try
have got loads of things printed off re. 'sleep training' ideas and keep reading through them. some nights i get really chuffed off and think, right, i'm going to try something, then other times i look at her and think, ahh you're still so tiny. i'm such a girly wimp

Thanks for welcoming me to the thread! Last night was not too bad sleepwise for us and DS. Much better than recent 5/6am mornings...

Feed and change at 11.30pm (we have not yet attempted to get him in his crib earlier than this, don't think any of us is ready for that yet! In the evenings he dozes on us or, occasionally, in his pram). In crib by 12 and off to sleep fine.

Awake at 3am, quiet feed then back to sleep.

Awake at 5am, change and quiet feed. Snuffles and snorts and wriggles a lot, but either he drops off eventually or we fall asleep anyway!

Awake at 6am thanks to leaky nappy. Won't settle after change and quick feed, so we bring him into bed with us on his crib mattress. Soon all three of us happily dozing.

7.30am - we transfer sleeping baby & mattress back into his crib. He snuffles and kicks around somewhat but doesn't make too much fuss and we all doze on til a blissful 8.15am, when he definitely wakes up for the day.

Hello All, I haven't posted in a long while. Things are still the same here,
feed at 11pm then up usually for another feed at 3am then up for day at 6:30 or 7am. I'm worried we've got into a bad habit. When DS wakes at 3am he's always reluctant to go back in his cot and as he's been snuffly/cloggy I've been putting him in bouncy chair. Now when he wakes and I put him back in cot, he grizzles and grizzles til I give in and put him in bouncy chair. What have I done! Its just that its easier as he goes to sleep and I'm working at the mo so need a goodish sleep. I will re-train tonight and over the weekend.

Kate76, DS is like that in the daytime too - will appear fast asleep (limp arms etc) then wake up screaming the second he's put down in the pram. I have just bought a ring sling and put him in it today - he cried and wriggled for a few minutes then promptly fell asleep. This was an hour ago and so far, so good...

afternoon all!
god, things move so fast on this thread!! or, is it just my mind moving extra slow??done a 24 hr stint with my lo, as dp away. he just got back, and has taken lo to bed for a nap, just like the health visitor says we shouldnt!!!
well, tonight is our big night, i have put the cot mattress in the cot (rather than by my mattress), last night i held my boy very tightly and felt quite sad we were to be not sleeping together any more (if all goes according to plan this is!) he slept pretty good last night, but only cos i drugged him at 7, after trying to put him down for an hour of him screaming every time his limp body met the mattress. he slept til 11, woke, fed, slept til 1, in with me, awake at 2.30, ssshed upright, and then he slept til 6 but so tight and close to me i could barely breathe!!
so tonight, we movehim to his room, and after i feed him i put him down awake...leave, wait til he cries, pick him up and calm him, put him down awake etc etc. after an hr i swap with dp. and back again after an hr. then we do 3 or 4 hr shifts. am kind of anticipating my baby just wont sleep. has anyone had any experience of this method??? its like a wussy version of controlled crying i guess.
so,im dreading tonight, but im also really ready for me adn dp to have a bed back to ourselves, and for nights where i dont have to lie still on my side for hours! i think i have some faith in the pupd method, cos the theory makes sense: im sure the reason my boy cant get himself back to sleep is he doesnt know how, and he wakes cross and angry that hes not in my arms half the time.
well, will let you know how its going later!
oh, do tell me about the bar, ive got a bit of wine left to numb the emotional angst later....

Man, how many posts?

Cruise, I think DD is also a bit constipated. I posted a message on the weaning page cos I was a bit worried but haven't had a great deal of response. Normally she'd go a couple of times a day but has been once in three days. We've managed to get some ready brek down her recently so don't know if I've bunged her up.

Amber, medised. Actually normally has the opposite effect on her but she's very snotty with cold at the mo. so was a bit of relief for both of us. I don't drug her normally!!

youngmum, re:dummy. I thought the same as you. Tried to get rid of it and after a week caved in as my nerves were tatters. It was only after a conversation with my mum who said that we never woke for our dummies that it got me thinking. Perhaps DD was waking for another reason and the dummy was what actually soothed her back to sleep quickly. After all there are lots of people on here tha don't use dummies and they have the same problem. My DD is definately not waking multiple times a night anymore in the way she was when we started the thread.

Pav, I don't think you're being unreasonable because it's down to you to get the baby back to sleep so of course you'll get pissed off. I get pissed off with DH taking his trousers of noisely!!

Kate, I've had MANY a day like that. I've felt like a cartoon character with steam coming out of my ears and I can feel my blood pressure raging because all I want is a few uninterupted minutes. It does get more manageable tho

Megbusset, how old is your LO?

Myrtle, have you seen those hammocks? they are similar, baby can rock themselves back to sleep. Might be what you're looking for.

Maebee, good luck, sounds like a sensitive and sensible approach. Nothing like cc imo which is basically leaving them to get on with it. If you're not leaving your lo at any time then at least he will not feel abandoned. He'll probably be confussed cos it's not what he's used to but it sounds like a very gentle approach. Report in and let us know. My DD has been in her own room the last couple of nights, joining me at about 5 ish and I really miss her! I got a bit upset putting her back to bed at 11 cos I wanted to snuggle up next to her but there was a real sense of freedom in the bed!

Catch up later

He will be 4 weeks on Saturday! So still very little (having said that, he is piling on weight like a right pudding, and already outgrown newborn-sized clothes, so not so little any more )
So I do appreciate we're lucky to be getting so much sleep at this stage... and in no hurry to enforce too much of a routine just yet.

Maebee - I have done this. I found it worked fantastically with my LO.

I used put her down, swaddle around her, but allowing her to move arms out later if she wanted. shh, pat her/rub her arms through swaddle, with one hand gently on her chest, tell her I love her. If she became upset, pick her up, straight back down, whether crying or not, reswaddle her. If she sits up/stands up, pick back up/re-swaddle. What I found is that after a few minutes her angry cry became a cooing cry, then I knew she would likely sleep. Now, I think because she has learnt to put herself to sllep, she can sometimes be left before she is asleep. Sonetimes she cries as I leave, usually goes to sleep within 5 mins if I leave her, mostly sleepy cry. Or she will talk to her bear for a bit and then go to sleep. If she gets upset at all, I go straight back in and do pu/pd with her until she settles again. I sort of adapted it to meet her cues, which seem to change gradually over time. Sometimes, not often, but it has happened, she actually gets more distressed if I stay. One time I went out for a break as it just was not working (I was confused as it always worked before) and within minutes of going, she was asleep! Sometimes also, she wants to move to her side, and I let her, as long as she keeps still there, if she moves arms about, tries to get up, I pick her back up and put her back down on back.

Last night
7:45pm - 8:30pm pu/pd
8:45pm - 10pm - woken by phone! No BF, pu/pd went to sleep about 10:30pm, woke at 2:30am. BF, back to sleep until 7:30am. Probably would have slept from 8:30pm to 2:30 if not woken up.
Night before better 7:30pm - 1:30am - 2:30am - 7:08am!!! yeah

Sorry for long post, just think this is great, for my LO at least, its more fluid and natural for her, and she knows she can do it on her own now, but I am there if she struggles

Godd luck. I hope it works for you.

Welcome back myrtle! Good to hear things are ok for you re night sleeping. LOL at the bouncy chair tho! I have taken LO into bed recently for suckle early morning/day time nap, not always, but occasionally, she loves it, I think I am developing a bad habit, which is awful as I never used to do it often, ccertinaly not in last few weeks with her sleeping better, and I go back to work next week so cant let her suckle and doze all morning!!

ok, thanks for the words pavlov, this is my update so far!

the boy is asleep in his own room! we did his usual routine, he bf nearly to sleep but looked v suprised when i didnt put him upright to ssssh him, but laid him in cot. he cried, i picked him up, etc etc etc again,again. my god, my heart, i thought both of us would break, it was really upsetting, he seemed really distressed that i wasnt helping him to sleep, and i felt so mean putting him down. BUT it took half an hour and he sucked his thumb and his eyes fluttered, and i kept my hand on him and said ssssh, and he has fallen asleep. THE FIRST TIME not in arms
of course, he will wake up and we will do it all again, but it is a beginning. my dp is on the 7 to 8 shift, and i am watching the clock hoping my lo doesnt wake up before then, i am in floods of tears and feel awful,really afraid he will feel abandoned even though i was there.

pavlov: do you stay in the room til your lo is fully asleep? i wasnt sure.

oh, how do i get to the bar? will any of you be there or is it too early?!?

MaeBee: if you're still there, bar thread is here
Well done of getting your LO to sleep in the cot . I've been trying to do the same thing to make it easier for DH to put DS to bed if necessary. I pick up whenever he really starts crying, cuddle, then back down when he's quiet. Takes ages (comp to feeding to sleep) but I reckon it's wprth it.

i am still here! its dp's shift, theres been a squeak but nothing more so far....
feeling hopeful, sad, happy, all those things!
maybe see you in the bar later.
xx