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Let's all talk about MUMSNET shall we?

223 replies

CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell · 29/12/2008 17:29

I'm pasting a post that is getting lost in the fighting and bitching going on. I hope it makes a difference. I have to go as I have ill children to tend to, but feel free to post your own thoughts on how we can get Mumsnet back to normality.

Mumsnet has been made to look like it's dominated by swearing, airheaded, middle class mothers in The Independent with nowt better to do than stomp around in their Boden jeans having a tant about a group of anonymous posters on a parenting site.

I'm sure that for the Moldie members it must be lovely to be able to discuss personal things in private and confidence without some name changing troll pissing all over your posts. It must be lovely to disclose your thoughts and problems with like-minded friends without worrying about it being taken the wrong way or having those dreaded Mumsnetters that you don't like, daring to come onto your thread.

As a lot of us who have been on Mumsnet for many years, it does hurt to have people name-changing to make personal and very hurtful attacks on you, which I presume never happens on Moldies.

So may I make a suggestion? Instead of bickering like the loons The Independent clearly think we are, how about we make Mumsnet even better? A site we can be proud of and feel safe posting on?

MNHQ - is there any way that name-changers who do so to personally attack other posters, can have a stiffer punishment? Perhaps banning from the site with no warning? Is there any way we can make Mumsnet a nicer, safer place to post?

Because right now, all we seem to be doing is giving the Moldies justification for the existance of their site.

I'm sure we'd all like to be able to post without fear of being personally attacked or having our real life covers blown. So why don't we work towards that this New Year? Because if I wanted to join Mumsnet right now for some support and advice, I'd be really put off.

And isn't that what Mumsnet is for? For people who are struggling, who need a bit of support and advice? Who can liaise in confidence with other parents and share experiences, problems and achievements? If I wanted a little forum to just talk to friends I can set one up, but I joined Mumsnet to get help and advice and to offer some where I could. I still get a kick out of feeling that my post has really helped, that my contribution has been worth something to someone. And whenever I have an issue, Mumsnet is one of the first places I turn to for advice and support.

Let's keep it that way shall we?

Who's with me on this one?

OP posts:
NAB3lovelychildren · 29/12/2008 17:30

I would be lost without MN and I feel stupid for needing it so much.

ComeWhineWithMe · 29/12/2008 17:34

I am the same NAB I have been here for almost two years and it is a massive part of my life ,I have gained so much confidence and knowledge since first logging on ,I would be truly lost without it .

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 29/12/2008 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Clarissimo · 29/12/2008 17:35

I agreed with you on the tother post Rhubs (Tis I, Peachy)

littleboyblue · 29/12/2008 17:40

That is a brilliant message CR completely agree with every point there.

AliceTheCamelHasGotTheHump · 29/12/2008 17:43

The thing about Mumsnet is that it is built around the idea of self regulation. I think if we want it to be better than it is, we need to do that ourselves. Maybe start by calling people on too agressive replies in AIBU for example? Just a thought, not sure if it's a good one.

ssd · 29/12/2008 17:49

very good op

I agree totally

though I think you'll find this thread gets deleted, MN seem to be deleting any discussion about "this sort of thing" just now

I've been here 5 years and am grateful for MN, nothing more I can say

Tee2072 · 29/12/2008 17:52

I admit I am new around here, only been here for about 4 months, but, honestly, its just a message board on the internet. I think everyone is taking it all much too seriously. The Independent article was funny as all hell, because it took things just as seriously as you all are.

There is nothing different or wrong with Mumsnet. Just let it be what it is.

I am not surprised threads like these are getting deleted. They are stupid and counter productive to a board just being a board.

morningpaper · 29/12/2008 17:54

name changing is getting mad

agree that name-changing for reasons of nastiness should just be banned or something

name-changing for personal problems is one thing but it is getting silly

Threadworm · 29/12/2008 17:59

A three-name maximum might help -- one for geberal posting; one for genital herpes/murder confessions/etc; and one spare for emergencies.

Threadworm · 29/12/2008 18:01

general not geberal

cornsilk · 29/12/2008 18:06

Totally agree rhubarb
Don't know what can be done about name changing. I name change to ask advice about my ds - wouldn't want to ask under my posting name as it's too personal. Maybe threadworm's suggestion of a 3name limit would be an idea.

AlistairSim · 29/12/2008 18:09

Lovely OP.

Agree 100%.

bananaknickers · 29/12/2008 18:09

Agree with rhubarb

squik · 29/12/2008 18:11

I name change regularly, as in every 100 or so posts. (I'm on here and post everyday, I just don't post that much) I have 30 odd names yet to use. You can't change to a 3 name rule. Especially seeing as I have 4 names which I payed for.

DaddyJ · 29/12/2008 18:13

Hear hear!

LIZS · 29/12/2008 18:16

Agree Rhuby - I have been "on a break" since Chritsmas Eve and had hoped it would have run its course by now. However I have been heartened by several longstanding posters who were among my mental "mia, assumed left" but who appear to have previously name changed -for genuine reasons- and are now resurfacing.

LadyMuck · 29/12/2008 18:22

Isn't the main issue about namechanging the fact that someone can just as easily set up a new hotmail account and register via that. So a ban on name-changing just makes namechanging more difficult but could never stop it?

LadyMuck · 29/12/2008 18:23

Not to say that it isn't a good suggestion, but I'm just not sure how it could work on a site that is open to new members?

Rhubarb · 29/12/2008 20:53

Well, usually when a troll posts, they do so from the same pc, so no amount of changing email will help because MNHQ can see the IP address of that computer and know it's from the same poster.

I hope this thread doesn't get deleted btw. I'm not discussing the ins and outs of Moldies - there's been far too much discussion about that and nothing has changed so I doubt any more discussion will help anyone.

I just want to have a think about the issues it raises - about the security and safety of Mumsnet.

How about a tougher registration process for new members? I know you don't want to put people off from joining, but then again people are going to be put off if the site is too easily accessed by malicious name-changers and trolls.

I do think that malicious name-changers who are fully signed up Mumsnetters and therefore traceable, should be banned from Mumsnet. It might make people think twice before name changing to launch personal attacks on other members.

I'm not sure about us policing the site as Mumsnet has already been accused of having a MN Police Squad. I think MNHQ are best placed to deal with troll issues. But certainly we could help by reporting them straight away and not feeding them.

RubberDuck · 29/12/2008 20:57

The problem with banning name changing is that it's actually a very useful (and probably recommended) way of protecting your online identity - especially on sites (like Mumsnet) where you end up giving a lot of personal details.

Really, a complete change once a year is actually beneficial, for privacy purposes and for a wake up call about how "newbies" are perceived on any forum (not just this one). It can be a humbling experience

Then again, count this as a do as I say, not as I do, because I changed to RubberDuck then haven't bothered to change again the following year because I just liked the name too much to bother!

RubberDuck · 29/12/2008 20:57

IP doesn't always work Rhubarb - it depends whether your ISP provides a static IP address or not.

kormaisforlifenotjustchristmas · 29/12/2008 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cocolepew · 29/12/2008 20:58

Well said Rhubs.

SoupDragon · 29/12/2008 21:00

Name changing is a complete red herring in all this.

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