Let's all talk about MUMSNET shall we?

[CliffRichardSucksEggsInHell]

I'm pasting a post that is getting lost in the fighting and bitching going on. I hope it makes a difference. I have to go as I have ill children to tend to, but feel free to post your own thoughts on how we can get Mumsnet back to normality.

Mumsnet has been made to look like it's dominated by swearing, airheaded, middle class mothers in The Independent with nowt better to do than stomp around in their Boden jeans having a tant about a group of anonymous posters on a parenting site.

I'm sure that for the Moldie members it must be lovely to be able to discuss personal things in private and confidence without some name changing troll pissing all over your posts. It must be lovely to disclose your thoughts and problems with like-minded friends without worrying about it being taken the wrong way or having those dreaded Mumsnetters that you don't like, daring to come onto your thread.

As a lot of us who have been on Mumsnet for many years, it does hurt to have people name-changing to make personal and very hurtful attacks on you, which I presume never happens on Moldies.

So may I make a suggestion? Instead of bickering like the loons The Independent clearly think we are, how about we make Mumsnet even better? A site we can be proud of and feel safe posting on?

MNHQ - is there any way that name-changers who do so to personally attack other posters, can have a stiffer punishment? Perhaps banning from the site with no warning? Is there any way we can make Mumsnet a nicer, safer place to post?

Because right now, all we seem to be doing is giving the Moldies justification for the existance of their site.

I'm sure we'd all like to be able to post without fear of being personally attacked or having our real life covers blown. So why don't we work towards that this New Year? Because if I wanted to join Mumsnet right now for some support and advice, I'd be really put off.

And isn't that what Mumsnet is for? For people who are struggling, who need a bit of support and advice? Who can liaise in confidence with other parents and share experiences, problems and achievements? If I wanted a little forum to just talk to friends I can set one up, but I joined Mumsnet to get help and advice and to offer some where I could. I still get a kick out of feeling that my post has really helped, that my contribution has been worth something to someone. And whenever I have an issue, Mumsnet is one of the first places I turn to for advice and support.

Let's keep it that way shall we?

Who's with me on this one?

Not the same though is it? Bounty, Netmums, all of that. I just feel it's a tad ironic to see Moldies contributing to a thread that was actually very anti-Moldie. After all, I was extolling the virtues of Mumsnet being anti-discriminatory, non-judgemental and welcoming to all, new and old. Ironic then that Moldies should want to keep Mumsnet the way it is, since they said it was exactly because they felt Mumsnet had changed that drove them to setting up Moldies.

My own personal pledge is to avoid those posters that I feel may have discriminated against me, and if they could do the same I would be very grateful. That's all I ask.

As regards to Mumsnet. Well how about blocking chat and AIBU threads from Google? After all they rarely contain the kind of helpful advice most parents would be searching for, but they are most likely to contain personal information and to give trolls their ideas for posting.

Perhaps the chat and AIBU threads could only be available to those who have registered?

That's a very good idea. Or would it make sense only to display posters' names when registered and logged in?

I was one of the people Rhubarb who wanted to keep Mumsnet the same, I can assure me I am certainly not a moldie.

I think if we do make changes we need to let all of this settle down it all seems to be a knee jerk reaction or a desperate attempt to cling onto people who do not want to be here.

Errare humanum est... (to err is human, to forgive is divine)

Must pop in to properly credit the Life Cycle thing - I believe it's attributable to Kat Nagel and I think I prob first saw it one usenet, sometime back in the 90s.

Re moderation: I used to run a group (amusingly considering the theme of this whole topic!) that the mumsnet team posted on when they first set up mumsnet, advertising it! I joined and never looked back although I've continued to contribute to that group for the best part of 10 years now.

That's the way the internet goes. I started life on misc.kids.pregnancy, and misc.kids.breastfeeding and uk.people.pregnancy, etc,moved to yahoogroups where we set up smaller more specialised groups away from the general accessibility of usenet contacting people and asking them to join. Then splinter groups grew from those too and some of the stuff discussed was v personal or ocnfidential and so after time those roups took decisions to close to new members or to only admit according to certain criteria.

For yahoogroups open lists we've always kept people moderated, as suggested earlier, for their first few posts - it helps because we also cut out a lot of the crap spam and crackpots and trolls. You'd need loads for mumsnet though.

Another old mantra that used to pop up on the internet parenting forums:

This too will pass.

Have many people really been name changing to say horible things? I'e not seen it, but my time on MN is limited.

Who remembers BMC?

? I am a regular on BMC too, why do you ask?

Nothing sinister!

i think there has been a bitty of a MN disproportionate response to media reporting of mouldie et al.and actually imo there was some pretty loony outpourings and hand wringing about the spat. all she said i said what's-her-name oh how very dare they defuile the MN name. oh i was that cow's MN bessie mate and she does this to me

inevitable,when feelings run high.it is a cliché ridden story.ole gals Vs new impudent pups.yadda yadda

to address op points
i dont care about moldies,and it is their prerogative to affiliate to whomever they wish.some argy bargy on MN neither justifies or invalidates moldies.maybe too much navel gazing about this spat has given it an over stated relevance

namechanging- haven't followed this.have posters been name changing to have a go?

anonymity,yes i value my anonymity.no i don't want some barking at moon loon sniffing around junior missy marple

i use MN predominately recreationally for a laugh, wee chat.so no it is not my number one place for support or advice.however,i acknowledge many other posters use it in a variety of ways

the thing about an internet forum is it does allow for straight candid talking,and yes people will do so (esp AIBU) but that can be the liberating factor of MN

some posters do get the hump of disagreed with on MN,well hey don't ask a bunch of strangers with PC an opinion if what you crave is affirmation/support

i favour minimum intervention/censorship.let things flow.MN is pretty self regulating.most posters give abusive posters a short shrift

what is BMC?

BMC is www.badmothersclub.com - another forum primarily for parents (but have had my wrists slapped when referring to it as a parenting forum LOL). Unfortunately it is subscription only - it's £12 per year to be able to post.

I dont have time for 2 forums

BMC used to decamp to here when it went down and we had a thread going there when MN went down, there was gentle mickey taking from both sides - although sometimes it was like a gang of kids going there form here and here from there iirc

all this navel gazing is terribly dull, move along now nothing new to be seen

twinset - it was set up by Stephanie Calman - who has written some books - confessions of a badmother etc

I have heard of her.

i know it is MN heresy,but it is only a discussion board not real.bunch of burds with PC

I agree SM. It's easy to take things too serioulsy

i will not have a WORD said against the BMC, remember during Ginagate? they were MAGNIFICENT.

does mrsrichardhammond still post there, tc? she was hilarious. i miss her.

I did hear they were fab althouh as usual I missed most of it

Aitch - I'm not sure - the name doesn't ring any bells, and I don't remember if it was an alter name for a regular user, or a user's main name.

i am making a very strong plea to MNHQ to make Mumsnet only available to those who register. Or, as rhubarb suggested, to make some topics at least register only. If someone wants advice it doesn't take long to register. And i for one have felt increasingly uncomfortable about some of the personal info about me and my dcs on here. I can't see how that would affect MNHW commercially, i mean it isn't that hard to register, but it may help to curtail trolling. MNHQ are increasingly reluctant to delete personal info, which means i am much more reluctant to post personal info, so i am using MN much less [don't have use of a private site] Please MNHQ, please consider this.