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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can we please have a ruling on how unsupportive of other parents it is permissible to be

302 replies

twittymummyofnone · 01/06/2014 00:59

within site rules, particularly, but not only, in reference to this thread;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2094153-To-think-that-a-lot-of-the-time-having-someone-in-the-family-with-a-disability-does-mean-being-long-term-poor

Have NCed obviously, but MNHQ can obviously see who I am and maybe we can get this cleared up one way or the other.

OP posts:
FidelineandFumblin · 01/06/2014 19:59

Yes smiles Smile

WireCat · 01/06/2014 20:01

Mnhq, thank you for looking through that thread.
I've not replied, simply because I would probably end up banned.

I have a son with disabilities. I cannot work. I was supposed to be returning once he started school. I need to be there at the drop of a hat for him, also numerous appointments etc etc...

The poster this thread and my would be reply would be aimed at is quite appalling on her views of those less able/well off. The poster always manages to post on these types of threads. It's most upsetting IMO.

I've seen members banned in the past for less vile things.

RonaldMcDonald · 01/06/2014 20:20

If it is the same person or people being deliberately, repeatedly, hurtful then surely MN can ask them to refrain from posting on those threads or in that manner..? I am not trying to excuse it or make apologies for it.

I think that the media and Govt have done a good job of making the public in general believe that those on benefits are loaded and that all those receiving disability benefits are work shy chancers.

Every time the real story is told and the true difficulties are given with facts and lives and the endless real problems some thing changes.

People learn real fact and change their opinions as they read and have empathy with the posters who are going through hellish stuff at times or the grind grind grind

Generally we know nothing about what it is like to deal with mental or physical disability or children with special or extra needs in any combination. Add that to doing it as a lone parent or a parent with a disability or who is differently abled.
It is massively eye opening and helpful and a steep learning curve. These posts change opinion so that it counters all the shit the Mail publishes or the Govt spouts.

No one should be abusive whilst it happens though and it isn't your job to tell us how it really is

I hope this makes sense but it is only my personal opinion

Smilesandpiles · 01/06/2014 20:26

What do you mean by "it isn't your job to tell us how it really is" ?

FidelineandFumblin · 01/06/2014 20:30

If it is the same person or people being deliberately, repeatedly, hurtful then surely MN can ask them to refrain from posting on those threads or in that manner..?

Let's hope so

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 01/06/2014 21:23

That would be a satisfactory minimum outcome

"Hmoo, you seem unable to post without being hurtful on any thread concerning xyz. Please refrain from posting regarding these subjects, as it is inevitable you will do it again, and we dont want to have to ban you.
Sincerly, hq"

Owllady · 01/06/2014 22:07

The csa are a shower of shit

DawnMumsnet · 01/06/2014 22:31

Evening all,

Just so you know, we're still here, and still listening.

As AmyMumsnet said upthread, we'll be looking into this properly once we're all back at our stations.

Please bear with us.

FidelineandFumblin · 01/06/2014 22:53

I'll answer you Dawn since it seems to have gone quiet.

Thanks Smile

DawnMumsnet · 01/06/2014 22:54

You're welcome, Fideline Smile

dawndonnaagain · 01/06/2014 23:11

Thank you Dawn.

Grin
Thumbwitch · 02/06/2014 05:44

Smiles - I think Ronald was being supportive with that comment, saying that it shouldn't have to be your job to tell us how it really is, not saying you shouldn't tell us. That's my reading of it, anyway.

Smilesandpiles · 02/06/2014 07:48

I think you're right. I may have taken that the wrong way.

Thaks Thumb.

Sorry Ronald.

Smilesandpiles · 02/06/2014 07:48

thanks

WireCat · 02/06/2014 08:45

Thanks Dawn.

None of us would wish disabilities on our children or ourselves.

But if we have to deal with this situation, then we do. The best way we can.

No one can judge what we do or don't do. Unless you're dealing with disability, you can have no idea what it's like.

Before I had my son. I had no idea what life was like idea what life was like dealing with disability. How it affects everything in life. Simple things.

IMO posters who continually put down those vulnerable in society shouldn't be allowed to air their opinions on here.

MasterOfTheYoniverse · 02/06/2014 09:57

Agree with Wirecat. If its systematic, it should be censored. Decency.

A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind

and floats downstream

till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and

his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

his wings are clipped and his feet are tied

so he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings

with a fearful trill

of things unknown

but longed for still

and his tune is heard

on the distant hill

for the caged bird

sings of freedom.
Maya Angelou, “Caged Bird” from Shaker, Why Don't You Sing? Copyright © 1983 by Maya Angelou. Used by permission of Random House, Inc.

MasterOfTheYoniverse · 02/06/2014 09:59

" how it affects everything in life. Simple things."

LeftyLoony · 02/06/2014 10:30

I want to re-iterate it's not just one post or one thread.

It's a pattern of behaviour over years. I've not seen a single post from this poster that isn't condescending, sneery or designed yo hurt or goad it's target. It's all this poster does.

RonaldMcDonald · 02/06/2014 11:42

Thanks Thumbwitch you are spot on and thanks Smiles for re reading and reconsidering

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 02/06/2014 11:52

Been thinking about this...

There is noone (that i can think of) whose personal well being and parenting ability is negatively affected by not being able to continually share their negative opinions on disabled/benefits/single mums. Conversely, there are people whose personal wellbeing and parenting ability is affected by those people continually sharing those views.

Mumsnets primary aim being support for parents should make it quite clear that this is censorable. I've been on the other end of "this is primarily a site for parent support, not discussing xyz without censorship" from hq, and this should be one of those times.

FidelineandFumblin · 02/06/2014 12:11

Since we became quite open a while back about the fact that it is HMOO that we are discussing, can anyone remember how long she has been doing this? (And again I mean the the thing of rocking up and foghorning deafly at a group of Carers/SAHMs/LPs/Disabled women "You're wrong/scrounging/lazy/not trying/a drain on the state/feckless/pointless/worthless" ad nauseum. Not any other more constructive discussion she might be having somewhere)

dawndonnaagain · 02/06/2014 12:28

Fideline
I think it's about a year, but I may be wrong.

Perspective21 · 02/06/2014 12:34

Dear MNHQ please carefully consider BeyondTheLImits post, this is exactly what is the matter in this situation. I hadn't reached this logical conclusion yesterday, but this is what I was mumbling around saying. There are more of us who need/use this site for support and one poster who is not going to be badly affected by being silenced.

Thank you Beyond, you are massively correct!!

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 02/06/2014 12:35

Its quite a long time ago that i advance searched her on one particular thread, thinking she must be a "new poster", and saw a lot of results then, so must be aaages.

BeyondTheLimitsOfAcceptability · 02/06/2014 12:36

Thanks perspective :) didnt occur to me til today either!

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