Can we please have a ruling on how unsupportive of other parents it is permissible to be

[twittymummyofnone]

within site rules, particularly, but not only, in reference to this thread;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2094153-To-think-that-a-lot-of-the-time-having-someone-in-the-family-with-a-disability-does-mean-being-long-term-poor

Have NCed obviously, but MNHQ can obviously see who I am and maybe we can get this cleared up one way or the other.

I said it on the other thread, and I will say it on here.
I assume that she has been reported numerous times?
Or are posters leaving it for others to report her, and no one is actually doing it?
Or only a tiny few.
From what I have been able to piece together, mumsnet takes more notice if there are numerous posts about a poster?

I think that's right linkery.

Trouble is, loads of people in real life think the same way. People genuinely don't get disability and don't understand all the extra costs and needs. So the views of happy mummy etc are pretty mainstream.
And calling her a cnt and telling her and others to fck off etc just looks terrible.

Actually that should read numerous reports not numerous posts.

So the views of happy mummy etc are pretty mainstream.

Are they? I sincerely hope not.

Well, yes, I think they are. I think lots of people not living as a disabled person or with a disabled person don't get the difficulties, can't imagine some of the examples on the thread and have a kind of thoughtless attitude.

It's one thing having views. It's another posting them on a parenting website isn't it?

Happymummyofone posts make her sound like an ignorant wanker. Which is a real shame :(

No, threads are an invitation for a discussion. So if you genuinely believe something you are going to join the discussion, if you can be bothered/it interests you etc.

Unfortunately threads are an invitation for lots of things lately.

I think that these types of people believe what they are saying, and think that they are doing the world a favour by saying these views.

I could be wrong.

If this site continues to grow, it could be the tip of the iceberg as to what comes on.

There's no coule be about it Linkery. I do think that worse is yet to come..from all angles, polictians, media, social media..it's going to get worse very quickly and very soon.

I've just looked at that thread.

One poster makes a handful if posts, then there are hundreds discussing her.

No idea what that poster wanted to get from her contribution - but if it was attention, then she got it in spades.

If it had been roundly ignored, what would the thread have looked like?

I think many people enjoy being unkind and making nasty digs in a medium where no one can see who they are in RL and call them on it.

That is probably true too, Madrigals.

I am left wondering what mumsnet are going to say.

Ok, I've just gone and read the opening post. It starts by saying 'not everyone' so I don't think the response is about the op of the thread. I am not trying to defend the views held, just the right to express them without being called vile names and told to f*ck off.
It's a widely accepted fact that stats show having a disabled person within the family often leads to lower incomes and work opportunities. I'm not disagreeing with that at all. My own experience backs that up.

meditrina.
Like I said on another thread, that requires hundreds of posters to use lots of self control.

Plus, not that many posters would have realised what sort of poster she is.

I actually agree with nerf, it wasn't until reading threads on mn that I got a real understanding of the extent of living with disability. I obviously knew the basics, but there's so much you wouldn't necessarily realise if you haven't had direct experience.

I wouldn't say happymummy's views are necessarily mainstream,but her lack of understanding is (although I'd have thought she'd have 'got it' by now).

That said, having just read the thread (because of this one) it definitely read as happymummy being shouted down by loads of posters - called names and told to fuck off - she didn't do that at all. Yes, she spouted the usual misinformed and deliberately misunderstanding crap that she does, but in the context of that thread alone it's the other posters that come out badly.

I saw that thread, but I actually don't recognise the MNer. Is she a NC, or am I just not here as much as I think I am?

And yes, some people do genuinely think like this and would say things in this way. As Barnum said, no one ever lost money by underestimating the public.

I actually think if you have friends and family who are intelligent and reasonable, it is easy to lose touch with what many people do think. And as MN grows, we will get more of these kind of posters.

Oh, I advise self-control.
Doesn't mean I have any!

I do understand that HQ are in a difficult situation regarding these sort of people because they do, as Mary said, tend to stay inside the talk guidelines. You can't make rules about being wrong after all.

But, how many times do we see people being warned about their 'tone' sometimes to the point of suspension? There have been many lengthy heated debates about it in site stuff over the years.

I reckon there's a legitimate 'tone' issue here wouldn't you, HQ?

If there was some sort of short description by each posters name, that might have made it easier!

ooh, that is a good one Randall. I think "tone" is now in Talk Guidelines"?

In terms of unkindness, I see plenty of people on this site being unkind, both those who are intelligent, and those who are ill informed. If MN were going to ban for unkindness, there would be a mass banning.

Had a brief look. Cant see it?