Can we please have a ruling on how unsupportive of other parents it is permissible to be

[twittymummyofnone]

within site rules, particularly, but not only, in reference to this thread;

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2094153-To-think-that-a-lot-of-the-time-having-someone-in-the-family-with-a-disability-does-mean-being-long-term-poor

Have NCed obviously, but MNHQ can obviously see who I am and maybe we can get this cleared up one way or the other.

Really? Feels even longer

Beyond is right. After all 'support for parents' doesn't naturally encompass 'support for parents who want to spout random bile over other parents about how inadequate they all are' does it?

It's longer than a years I would say over 2

I'd say two as well. I've been here for 4 years and she's been pissing me off for at least 2 of them.

Actually, reading through, it's more like 4 years she's been like this.

Bloody hell, I've been here for four years. Mind I can remember Dd1 having a go at her before now, so maybe it is longer.

Playing devils advocate here, where would you want the line drawn? You are saying ban someone because they post their views repeatedly making out that people on benefits/disabled people should 'get a job' (am paraphrasing for speed) but could we end up with a situation where only one view is allowed - or supportive of all parent's choices?
So, a poster wanting to have another baby but living with three dcs in a tiny flat will only be told to go for it (it's one that comes up a lot) because people will be scared of posting what they really think?
I just feel that you need some thought about the potential unwanted effects of this?

It's a strange one. 2007/8 and most of 9 she was lovely, really helpful even with the benefits stuff, but around 2010 there is a significant difference in her posting, tone and pattern. She's gone from being lovely to down right nasty.

I wonder what happened.

Your DD? Adult I assume?

Nerf. Mumsnet will look at the PATTERN of what she is doing.

Oh okay. So just posting to be critical without other interactions?
I suppose I was just worrying about creating a kind of artificial thing, but if it's just extreme cases fair enough.

Smiles, You said you wonder what happened - I've noticed that she has mentioned on a few occasions that her and husband made a conscious decision to have one child as that's what they could afford and manage well - it seems to be those she deems to be "feckless" that she has issues with.

Maybe it's just as simple as she feels aggrieved that people are 'running around having children everywhere with no thought to how they can afford them' whilst she's left 'doing the right thing'? Maybe she's not "happy"mummy and is actually "a bit envious and annoyed"mummy?

Complete conjecture on my part obviously, but that's how she strikes me to be.

Also don't see how that would link to picking on those families dealing with disability though. (I am just thinking aloud really).

It's possible.

If that is the case or even part of it then it would explain a lot. Resentment must build up, even if only in your subconcious towards your partner..which would explain the LP hate.

The disability thing maybe because on a lot of those posts you hear about a partner being supportive...or working while the carer stays at home...which links in with the sahm...

Like you, I'm just musing..it certainly answers a lot though if that is the case.

Most likey utter bollocks though.

One thing is for certain, personal issues or not, no one should be allowed to continue posting in that manner against specific groups.

Plenty of people have become infected by the scrounger bashing mentality since 2009. In fact 2009 was the year the Conservative party adopted it as electioneering strategy.

It is about four years.
There are no 'normal' everyday posts on anything else. It's like she's got a google alert or something set for these specific threads.

She pays no heed to specific circumstances - ie me and DH both being in work and able to support 3 kids prior to their needs becoming known. We're still scroungers. We still made that life choice, even when there wasn't a choice.

Also don't see how that would link to picking on those families dealing with disability though. (I am just thinking aloud really)

Because if you build a worldview based on everyone being self-sufficient, it doesn't leave room to concede that there are situations where a healthy society provides some support. That's why she has weird ideas about women and children let down by deadbeat dads.

It is the same line of reasoning that led to eugenics in the first decades of the last century

most likely utter bollocks though

Or that And she has just discovered she can get a thrill by upsetting people. Not so

To be fair, mn has been a real eye opener for me. I have always had empathy and sympathy for others, but I was guilty of judging people by my standards iyswim (if I can do it, why can't you, sort of thing).

It's only because I was off long term sick last year that I had time to kill so found mn (have always been too busy before due to being 'A Hard Working Parent' ), I've learned heaps on here and I am lots more tolerant as a result, I think.

That's why I struggle to understand why someone still wouldn't 'get it' after being pulled up repeatedly for the same lack of understanding, or refusal to see things less rigidly.

Ha! I've just done in that post what I said I try not too - I totally judged her by my standards and found her lacking

Of course.

I gently tried to suggest to a woman in step-parenting yesterday that she shouldn't threaten her step-children with being made to eat their dinner off the floor with the dog. She gave me a self-righteous answer and was busy describing her stepchildren as something something something scrotes last time I looked. I am genuinely glad (as well as nauseated) to have seen that. I can't imagine where else I would have got that insight. I have also learnt thigs here that have made me a better parent.

Not sure how HMOO fits though.

I suppose I did with wicked-step-mother-dogs-dinner-woman too. Impossible not to at the extremes.

In all fairness she's never had a pop at me. I'm disabled several of my children are disabled I'm also a lone parent by choice.

I think the catalyst for the vicious comments has to be financial