What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

When threads are started for that sole purpose I guess many of us women can tell.

But let's not kids ourselves, there are men out there who will use the search function to get what they want. Any discussion between women about sex is wank material for some man, somewhere.

Because someone on mumsnet posted a link to a reddit forum for mumsnet sex chat people to use. He was on the reddit sub saying his username here, his age, that he’s married etc. And now he is using other subreddits including one where he has replied to a girl saying she’s is 16 who wants advice on a break up. 🤮

That was a reply to @Graasspp

So disable pms?

I'm not disputing the Internet in general is full of dodgy folk my point is this board is very tame. Very basic requests for tips and advice are jumped on by folk thinking it's their job to protect posters. It isn't. I'm sure there is far more exciting 'wank fodder' out there.

It is very tame compared to what else is out there.

Why should we disable PMs when me may use them to chat to other people on here?

Is that like when men can’t control themselves around women in short skirts so women are told to change how they dress? Stinks of victim blaming.

Why am I not surprised. ‘Ladies’, it’s your fault for not disabling PMs.

🙄

... and I said I was judging him @Janiie! Keep up!

I don't dislike this board. I think it is/can be/should be a fantastic place for us to discuss sex and (women's) sexual health issues.

What it isn't or shouldn't be is somewhere for people to post asking for sex chat and hook-ups. I dislike those posts/posters.

‘Ladies’, it’s your fault for not disabling PMs.

Of course it’s our fault. 🤔 Victim blaming at its finest.

I don't think I should have to disable PMs when I use them to communicate with other people who don't sent weird messages. I do block when I get weird messages though - and I report.

I also name change regularly, before I get jumped on for not being a "regular".

Women have to close their PMs because men can’t act appropriately? Wow, fucking WOW!

What about someone who posts asking for advice on say, oral sex, should they be mocked and derided as a perv?

No. And nowhere has anywhere said that that should be the case. Don't make things up.

And now he is using other subreddits including one where he has replied to a girl saying she’s is 16 who wants advice on a break up.🤮

If that’s true, that really fucking grim.

We know that there are pervs hanging around this site, any genuine posters shouldn’t want them here. The answer isn’t just not to look here.

"a person whose sexual behavior is considered unnatural and morally wrong"

By its very definition, the term is subjective. Considered by whom? What is morally wrong behaviour to one person is perfectly acceptable behaviour to another. 60 years ago a homosexual man would have been considered a pervert. Now we know better.

There are obviously sexual proclivities which society as a whole finds abhorrent and unacceptable - bestiality and paedophilia being the most obvious. Also any sexual practice lacking consent by all parties.

The difficulty with the use of the word "pervert" on the sex boards is that it is often thrown around with a huge side helping of judgement and shame. I absolutely agree that men or women who send unsolicited DMs should be reported. I also agree that we should be cautious about posters who seemingly ask a question in order to seek their own sexual gratification, although I usually give them the benefit of the doubt.

However, it's incredibly frustrating to see people labelled as perverts or weirdos simply because their sexual practices are different to the "norm", different to what other posters are used to discussing, It's a deliberately derogative term used to shame and hurt people. I guess it's no surprise that an online forum attracts those who simply wish to vilify and pick fights with others because they don't hold the same beliefs or values

Personally, I don't care what consenting adults choose to do. Wearing a gimp mask and pushing needles through genitals certainly wouldn't be my cup of tea but I sure as hell wouldn't label them as perverts because they enjoyed it.

A perversion is often a sexual activity which either you or others regard as abnormal and should not be undertaken as somehow morally repugnant. But one person's perversion is another person's pleasure. No doubt there was a time, and some may still have this attitude, that men and women who masturbated themselves were thought of as perverts, but many (I hope the vast majority) now regard this as usual and normal and hugely pleasurable. But those who engage in sex with the under aged and with animals have always been regarded as perverts and I hope this will continue!

Will some posters still pretend to be confused what perv is on here even after this thread? If they do, I think they just don’t want to understand.

no one's pretending anything - will return with more when have more time since seems have been asked what my definition is - though have long since pretty much answered.

wow - bizarre - so you are stalking folks round the internet and appear to have joined some sort of private chat group, even though you say you hate such things? Odd behaviour? starting to wonder if all or half the chat on this old Mnet chat thing (%) was some sort of festival of light pervery. Reminds me of The old not-missed (by me) News of the World.
% in case anyone is wondering/erecting conspiracies I was never on the mnet thing - never knew what may or may not have been under the hood.

@FordAnglia A poster writes about a man that uses mumsnet sex board, trying to chat to a 16 year old child on another forum, and what you take from it is that. Says it all really.

Stalking? Lol. A few clicks is all it took. No I haven’t joined their group @FordAnglia Sorry to disappoint. 😂

A poster writes about a man that uses mumsnet sex board, trying to chat to a 16 year old child on another forum, and what you take from it is that. Says it all really.

Quite. Totally ignored the creepy, pervy part. I’d expect no less.

but if you haven't joined this group whatever it is how can you see what's going on there?
Genuine question.

I repeat that I find this very odd behaviour. Prurient even.

I am also aware of some incident on here where some woman was being bullied because some "perv hunters" appeared to object to her for some reason. Bits of that were profoundly worrying (to me) - she also appeared to have been followed round the web (I don't know how) and there were even hints that they had "offline" tabs on her.

yep and will be back when can manage (I only pop in) with answer to core question.

also it's news to me that there are any 16 year olds on Mnet (i stress in case radars start spinning out of control that I have no interest in) - after stuff posted above wondering if this supposed 16 year old was some sort of patrol plant fantasy.

but if you haven't joined this group whatever it is how can you see what's going on there?
Genuine question.

Because it’s a reddit sub that anyone can see and reddit allows you to see what other things users post on. You’re obviously not very tech savvy which is why you think it’s stalking to click a few times. It’s not very difficult.

also it's news to me that there are any 16 year olds on Mnet (i stress in case radars start spinning out of control that I have no interest in) - after stuff posted above wondering if this supposed 16 year old was some sort of patrol plant fantasy.

Are you purposely acting like this? The 16 year old is on reddit, not mumsnet.

Even if the 16 year old was a ‘plant’, (a huge reach but let’s say you’re right), this man still tried to engage in conversation with her didn’t he? What does that tell you about this almost 80 year old man? 🤔

but the question remains, why go there?
why just why?

Tis true that MY use of what might be termed social media is pretty limited. Thankfully.