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Original poster

What is a pervert?

517 replies

FordAnglia · 19/11/2023 11:17

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 18:31

...........and caped crusaders deciding who MN is for

That'll be MNHQ.

Janiie · 22/12/2023 20:09

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 18:31

...........and caped crusaders deciding who MN is for

That'll be MNHQ.

Exactly. Finally we agree!

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 20:53

@Janiie when you wrote the following I do not think you meant MNHQ:

"I see so many frothers warning the poor wimmin off who dare to engage with men and caped crusaders deciding who mn is for"

BIWI · 22/12/2023 21:12

I see so many frothers warning the poor wimmin off who dare to engage with men and caped crusaders deciding who mn is for

I'm not really quite sure where to start with this Confused

I don't think any of us who are talking about the issue of perverts/sleazy posts on this topic have an issue with engaging with men. I'm sure there are many topics and posts where I have engaged, quite happily, with male posters.

I do, however, have an issue re engaging with perverted posts and posters. As do a lot of other posters here. You do them a grave injustice damning them as 'wimmin'. (Interestingly, unless I'm misreading your username, you are a woman too, are you not?)

And disagreeing, or robust debate, does not equal 'frothing'. It's like listening to misogynistic blokes dismissing women talking as 'banter'. You should know better than that @Janiie.

And 'caped crusaders'?! I am no hero, and I'm sure the other posters here who are objecting to sleazy posts/posters don't feel like this either. Nevertheless, there is a problem with people who think that they can come on to Mumsnet and post sleazy stuff. If that makes me Batman for calling it out, then 'go me!'

Why are you so worried about posters on Mumsnet calling out the perverted? What difference does it make to you? Do you feel it impinges on your freedom to post? Or do you feel, somehow, empowered, by siding with the perverts and sleazy posters?

Janiie · 22/12/2023 21:16

Bit long that biwi. At the risk of sounding like a broken record report anything that concerns you but you <not you specifically but others with similar worries> should let others do and chat as they like. If that's all you're doing, well that's ok then isn't it.

BIWI · 22/12/2023 21:19

A bit long?! It's called debate/discussion. Perhaps you find that difficult?

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 21:25

Bit long that biwi

Yet highly relevant and pertinent. Come off it, Janiie. You can read.

If that's all you're doing, well that's ok then isn't it

It is.
So why are you continually complaining about this, if it's "ok then isn't it"?

It seems to me more likely that you'd prefer nobody to report anything dodgy which they see on this board.

Janiie · 22/12/2023 21:27

BIWI · 22/12/2023 21:19

A bit long?! It's called debate/discussion. Perhaps you find that difficult?

<sighs>

Nope, fine with 'intelligent debate' but you kind of lose the argument when you say sneery stuff like 'Or do you feel, somehow, empowered, by siding with the perverts and sleazy posters?'. Show me where I've 'sided with pervs'. Go on, I dare you.

I have said report unpleasant stuff (really surpried you missed that) but some of you lecture genuine posters and that is the problem you see.

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 21:29

@Janiie

How would you define a "genuine poster"?

Mermaidparades · 22/12/2023 22:16

Janiie I am with you on that one. Reasonable comments are ruined by the lecturing/ judgemental quips 🙄

Ibizabar · 22/12/2023 22:19

I just can't get my head round why anyone would have a problem with people wanting this board to be free of the perverts.I mean you must be really stupid to not know the sort of person this topic attracts. The ridiculous argument about not wanting to see posts about blowjobs is so missing the point I can only conclude that poster is being deliberately obtuse.

Ibizabar · 22/12/2023 22:22

Mermaidparades · 22/12/2023 22:16

Janiie I am with you on that one. Reasonable comments are ruined by the lecturing/ judgemental quips 🙄

Was it not you encouraging the disgusting troll thread that got deleted the other day? Are you so naive you couldn't see that was a perv thread?

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 22:23

Ibizabar · 22/12/2023 22:22

Was it not you encouraging the disgusting troll thread that got deleted the other day? Are you so naive you couldn't see that was a perv thread?

Show quote history

It was.

Mermaidparades · 22/12/2023 22:31

@Ibizabar the initial post was fairly innocuous, I put the slightly awkward tone down to language differences. I don’t think I’m naive 🤷🏻‍♀️ I certainly try to avoid becoming cynical but sometimes that has unwanted consequences. But feel free to be condescending 👍

Ibizabar · 22/12/2023 22:34

Instead of reporting as dear Janiie would have us do, You were wanging on about having a snack afterwards. Even though the the disgusting perv was clearly sharing rape fantasies.

The initial post was absolutely not innocuous

Mermaidparades · 22/12/2023 22:39

This could be an interesting discussion, however your dismissive tone towards me makes me not want to engage further.

ReflectiveRogue1001 · 22/12/2023 23:22

Mermaidparades · 22/12/2023 22:39

This could be an interesting discussion, however your dismissive tone towards me makes me not want to engage further.

Do klaxons go off?

<this could be a genuine discussion... eyes swivel..."they" might have a point... AVOID! AVOID!>

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 23:32

The initial post was absolutely not innocuous

It certainly wasn't.
I was actually looking at it earlier on. I was reading my email about it to MNHQ, so of course the whole post was on it.

There was unquestionably nothing innocuous about it.

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 23:34

Mermaidparades · 22/12/2023 22:39

This could be an interesting discussion, however your dismissive tone towards me makes me not want to engage further.

I expect you remember recommending fruit as a suitable snack, Mermaid.

But by all means, detach yourself from any discussion about the deleted thread.

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 23:40

"I certainly try to avoid becoming cynical"

And you also try to avoid reporting posts by perverts, despite Janiie's recommendations that you do so.

filthypride · 23/12/2023 01:48

What is a pervert? My ex.

Catullus5 · 23/12/2023 02:08

TheShellBeach · 22/12/2023 23:40

"I certainly try to avoid becoming cynical"

And you also try to avoid reporting posts by perverts, despite Janiie's recommendations that you do so.

The problem with your argument here is that another thread started by the same person is still in place on Mumsnet. So is the person a troll? Or genuinely needing advice? If she's a troll, that thread is ten times worse. And doesn't it show that - I reckon no thanks to you - that the sex topic is rather more heavily scrutinised?

And that's the issue. You say you don't mind discussion of whatever. But you're very censorious about it, very quick to say it's being done wrongly, and very very quick to smear anyone who disagrees with you.

You're a practising Christian. You've said so. It isn't so very long ago that Christians, with the best of intentions, were shutting down discussions on homosexuality in the name of decency. I shouldn't need to explain to you the misery and abuse that caused. You should reflect on that. As I'm a practising Christian too I know what I'm seeing here and I don't like it one little bit.

Catullus5 · 23/12/2023 02:30

As a follow up I'm minded to ask you what you would have thought and said about section 28 back in the 80s and 90s, or, perhaps what you did in fact think and say about it.

For those who don't know it was a section in the Education Act 1989 (UK) designed to prevent the promotion of homosexuality or, as many at the time would have had it, perversion. What it in fact did was shut down discussion, which is precisely what its proponents wanted.

Agiftandacurse · 23/12/2023 07:11

I would love a women only sex board in addition to this one 🙏

this board has become saturated with men now. A woman only space wouldn’t deter the perves (although these posts are easily reported and deleted) but I’d much prefer a space to read/post without every other comment being a man over sharing or mansplaining!

Mermaidparades · 23/12/2023 08:42

A women only sex board would only be useful for those in bi/ lesbian relationships. It’s the sharing of male and female perspectives and experiences around topics such as arousal that made this board good. But then many of the decent guys were intimidated and bored of being referred to as pervs.

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.

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