What is a pervert?

[FordAnglia]

I seem to recall two or three times in this bit of the board where folks have cruised by and used the word pervert, but when I have politely asked for a definition of the term/asked what they mean, the question has always been swerved. I have even been advised to google it, which to my mind seems dubious if not avoidant advice.

The term seems to be tossed around a fair bit, though usually I let it pass.

So what do the good folks of the sex board define the term as?

This is also an opportunity of course for those folks who have avoided questions to have their say and educate us.

I just talk to my partner. Whether something feels good, bad or other to ‘all the men’ is irrelevant.
Same here. My husband's opinion is the only one I want.

I’m not having sex with them and also realise that they may not be genuine anyway
Exactly. (I'd be horrified if I discovered that my husband was canvassing opinions about our sex life from a bunch of other women).

Conversely, I wouldn't canvass the opinions of the men on this board anyway, because so many of them have proved to be perverts.

Ah right. So if folk elsewhere are having problems with, for example, their mil and want other perspectives they should just talk to their own mil. Got it. It's like theres no need for a chat forum at all just talk to your own dh, your own mil or whoever! Dancing has solved everyone's problems for them.

Exactly. (I'd be horrified if I discovered that my husband was canvassing opinions about our sex life from a bunch of other women).

I seem to remember a certain poster saying her husband wasn’t pleased and it was causing issues so she was going to stop some of it. I wonder if that post still stands, it was in one of the discussions on site stuff about the sex board.

So I’m not huffing or flouncing by not responding, I really do just have to set down my phone

Mermaid always finds* *a reason to avoid answering awkward questions. She either decides someone's tone is off, or it's conveniently Chrismas and she's busy.

I realise this may be a contentious opinion, Janiie, but other people's mothers-in-law are not usually perverts, hence there is no inherent danger in getting these opinions.

you do realise a lot of women post/read the sex board to discover how to improve sex for themselves not their partner @Mermaidparades It doesn’t make us lesbians/bi!

the trouble is then a lot of men post about what their ‘dw’ ‘fwb’ (imaginary girlfriends) enjoy. And I would prefer a space where I don’t have to read those comments. On the style & beauty board there are never comments about what their DW likes to wear/where she shops. Odd that 😂

there are times when I do want a male perspective on something too absolutely. I love improving things for my partner too

I wonder if that post still stands, it was in one of the discussions on site stuff about the sex board

Highly unlikely.
Those threads somehow always got deleted.

@Janiie In terms of how something feels, which is what I was responding to, only what your partner feels is relevant.

If my partner doesn’t like something, even if all the men say it’s fantastic, it wouldn’t matter.

It’s not comparable to general MIL issues. But if your MIL didn’t like a certain food, ‘quizzing’ other MILs to find out that others did like that food wouldn’t really help. Unless you’re going to try to pressure MIL to eat that food because everyone else said it’s good.

@Catullus5 were you calling me a hypocrite?

Highly unlikely.
Those threads somehow always got deleted.

Shame. I definitely remember her saying that talking to the men here was causing issues in her relationship.

I realise this may be a contentious opinion, Janiie, but other people's mothers-in-law are not usually perverts, hence there is no inherent danger in getting these opinions.

That too.

I don’t know if some posters here are incapable of thinking things through or they don’t want to see the difference.

I don’t know if some posters here are incapable of thinking things through or they don’t want to see the difference

One or two do not understand what a non-sequitur is.

You said you'd ask your dh if you wanted a male's opinion. Many other people however want other people's views on a whole host of things. There is nothing wrong with that.

You see this is where we veer from 'it's only the pervs I'm interested in judging!' to actually demonstrating, nope its everyone else you are judging too. Own goal, well done.

But it is 'conveniently Christmas' highly probable she has stuff to do!

But it is 'conveniently Christmas' highly probable she has stuff to do!

She finds ways to avoid answering a lot.

My @ didn’t work. @Janiie

Stop picking on her. It is the pervs you're after, remember??

Oh @Janiie 🤦🏻‍♀️

If someone is involved in the discussion but avoids answering, it is not ‘picking on’ them to point it out.

Why comment about it, leave her alone,. You and shell both sniggering that she doesn't answer. She does!

I'm off to walk the dog then pop to Tesco, I may be a while I do hope that's ok.

You and shell both sniggering that she doesn't answer. She does!

Well maybe after Christmas Mermaid can finally tell me how she tells the difference between perverts and what she calls "genuine posters".

Posters that seem to have a period fetish
Posters that want to discuss ‘college girl porn’
Posters that post about accidentally stealing knickers
Posters that swap their sex between posting
Posters that seem to have a breastfeeding fetish
Posters that sexualise children
Posters that post about having sex where children may see
Posters that link to sites that have sections for incest and teen sex
Posters who turn a sexual health question into a chance to overshare their sexual experiences
Posters with little posting history asking for others to share
Posters who have sent me unwanted PMs that are sexual

This list is terrible. I’ve recently rejoined mumsnet to get some advice on the dreaded menopause and was thinking of posting for help on this board. I definitely won’t be after reading this thread. 😔

It’s disappointing that mumsnet is being used like this, other women may have been able to offer me advice but I’m not risking a thread being used by perverts. I’ll stick to the menopause/women’s health sections.

Stating facts isn’t sniggering @Janiie I don’t think it’s funny.

@HidingFromFamilyAtXmas

If you did post here you may get helpful replies from women but I think it’s safer to post on the other boards. It is disappointing that women feel they can’t post.

And which of those are their "lovely friends".

Hmm interesting Venn diagram 🤔