Anal sex

[feelinghothothot]

Any real advice on how to enjoy this without biting the pillows? I've tried it a couple of times but I know dp would love to do it more. I'm also keen to get into it. Lube, toys - can someone steer me right?

[BertrandRussell]

"And absolutely no, I wouldn't ever try to do anything my partner wasn't equally willing to do."

Why would she need reassurance, then?

[suzannecanthecan]

And apologies to those who thought it was fucking disgusting

no one found your post 'fucking disgusting'
the words used were 'creepy' 'weird' 'predatory'

And note, I said 'reassurance' not coercion

of course you used the word 'reassurance', had you described it as coercion you'd be immediately shot down

so just to be clear, we are not disgusted, we think you sound creepy, and the girl/man terms only compound this

[usualsuspect333]

I always knew this topic would attract the creepy fuckers.

Still it keeps them off the rest of MN.

[AcrossthePond55]

IMHO, it's another blurring of the line of 'no means no', Eekaman. It is a very, very fine line between 'reassurance' and 'coercion'. There's nothing wrong with suggesting anal or any other legal sexual practice, but most of us have a good idea already of whether or not we're interested in trying it. And your opinion of a woman's decision means nothing, it's her body. And regardless of whether or not our 'no' seems reasonable to you, it still means NO. The 'formula' is: Ask, answer if questions are asked, she says 'NO', drop it. Not 'ask, answer questions, she says NO, 'reassure' (coerce) until you get what you want'.

I tried anal with my husband. I did not like it.

[suzannecanthecan]

Indeed Usual, I'm pretty sure this section will have the highest proportion of posts from men.
The post from Eekaman reads like he hopes we will be aroused by his 'erotic' writing

[suzannecanthecan]

Infact men seem to pop up when certain subjects are mentioned...notably 'swinging'
like sharks who can detect a drop of blood from miles and miles away

[suzannecanthecan]

Ah OK, I missed that Innocent!

To explain myself.
I felt that in apologising for being 'fucking disgusting' Eekaman was trying to portray those who found his post unpleasant as merely 'prudish'...like we were all just pearl clutching at the very idea of anal sex.

and in so doing attempting to divert attention away from the weird and creepy nature of his post.
( I hope that makes sense!)

[suzannecanthecan]

I know that!
and I can only imply that he implied....

[ExConstance]

It can be very intensey pleasurable, but you have to really want to do it. It will hurt if the entry is by way of the penis pushing in, the anus has to invite it, so a little push, wait, anus invites in, and so on, the pleasure is that the anus almost eats up the penis. And you need more lube than you can imagine. I find it the most intimate and pleasurable of all sex acts, because it needs such intense co operation. I find spoons style from behind works best.

[feelinghothothot]

A genuine thanks to those who have taken the time to offer a reply. I'm very grateful

[HoobleDooble]

If you expect it to hurt, you'll clench at that will result in it hurting more. A tip I had whispered in my ear was to give my clitoris a bit of a rub as the man is entering, it stopped me from clenching, and I found I quite enjoyed it.

[BertrandRussell]

" I found I quite enjoyed it."

I honestly think you should do more than "quite enjoy" something that's potentially painful and damaging.....

I wish I could be sure that many women are not being at best ""persuaded" to try anal sex because men want to do it..........

[Zillie77]

I had a few thoughts reading this thread:

Lubrication can also be provided by some PIV action prior to anal insertion.

My husband and I have anal sex without lubrication sometimes directly without any prior PIV action as well. The anus contains mucous membranes which themselves produce lubrication.

If it has been a while since a man has ejaculated, he may actually leak seminal fluid from the tip of his penis, which may act as a lubricant.

I thought that Eekaman's post was perfectly fine, quite poetic and sexy, actually, and while it is perfectly understandable that it was not everyone's cup of tea, I think it was appropriate for this thread.

A man who talks to women about their sexual experiences in depth may, in fact, have a deep understanding of how they feel about sex.

When he used the word "reassurance", he may have been talking about the woman reassuring the man that she was doing okay with the anal penetration.

Talking about "grooming" a grown woman really kind of suggests that women are easily manipulable. Are we? I don't think so. I can see that kind of thing a mile off.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Oh come on folks
Lots of people really enjoy anal sex. Lots of those people are women! Eeka 's post was way too graphic for mumsnet but he wasn't actually wrong, and the word reassurance was fine. When you're doing something that makes you feel pleasurably nervous you want to be reassured. Doesn't mean you don't want to do it or that you are being groomed.

No doubt there are abusive men who coerce their partners into anal but that is definitely not the norm.

[NobleLocks]

I totally agree with the previous two posters!

[BertrandRussell]

Of course there are women who who enjoy anal sex. But the BMJ, among others, confirms that it's often coercive. And women go along with it because they are convinced that it's something they should be doing.

Bloody porn. I hate it.

[BertrandRussell]

Sorry, Innocent, Xposts.