Anal sex

[feelinghothothot]

Any real advice on how to enjoy this without biting the pillows? I've tried it a couple of times but I know dp would love to do it more. I'm also keen to get into it. Lube, toys - can someone steer me right?

[Eekaman]

Johnfarley...

GTF with your claims that I encourage women to bite the pillow in pain.

Retract that please.

[suzannecanthecan]

what are you on about Eekaman....talking out of your arse like that

[AnyFucker]

Eekaman your creepy, oversharey, "deep dark thrilling" monologue was deleted, for reasons of "weird, inadequate bloke stroking his manhood on Mumsnet again"

perhaps you could "retract" that ?

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Your concerns about coercion, rape and "Creepy Fuckers" should be in Feminist Theory. That's precisely why MN set up a separate space here

Nope. It's completely valid to question consent and coercion on a sex discussion board, given the high rate of the stuff that goes on within relationships.
That said, I didn't read the OP as being coerced myself.

[BertrandRussell]

Who knows if the OP is being coerced or not? All we know is that she has tried it twice and doesn't like it, and puts her husband 's keenness to do it more as her first reason for wanting to try again. She says she is "keen to get into it" OK- but you wonder why, if she doesn't like it? So, along with the practical advice, the message that she really doesn't have to do it is really important. A lot of women find it very hard indeed to say no when somebody they love asks them to try something sexual. And the more "normalised" an act that can be painful and damaging is, the harder it is to say no.

Oh, and to whoever suggested looking at gay porn- really???. Mainstream commercial gay porn shows anal sex as just as "bang it in as hard as you can- he'll love it, or even if he doesn't he should and you will" as het porn.

[NinjaLeprechaun]

I suppose it depends what kind of porn you're watching Bertrand but in my experience it is more realistic than the het stuff. A good deal more visible use of lube, for instance. They also seem to be quite a bit more likely to notice that there's actually another person involved.
But, again, it depends what sort you've seen. I have absolutely nothing against the spanky stuff, if that's what revs you up.

[BertrandRussell]

Notice the use of "mainstream" and "commercial" in my description of the sort of porn I meant? Which is the sort of porn most people have access to.

Which, incidentally, reinforces the view that all gay men like anal sex. They don't.

[NinjaLeprechaun]

Of course they all don't. What a silly thing to suggest. They don't all like porn either. Not all straight men like porn - or anal sex - either, to be fair.

However, (working on the assumption that I have the same internet as everybody else, and therefore access to the same porn as everybody else,) when anal sex is shown in gay porn it is probable that a sizable proportion of their audience, comparable to het porn, is familiar with the process and also not necessarily interested in doing or watching anything painful. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
There was a discussion about anal sex in porn being completely unrealistic, and I suggested based on my own experience that the anal sex in gay porn was less unrealistic.

That was hardly the bulk of my post though, there was a huge bit about the idea of blanket consent based on having done something in the past, and how that assumption was a really bad idea. I'm rather disappointed that nobody could find anything to criticize in that.

Incidentally, and completely apart from the subject, Chrome just tried to correct "criticize" to "Briticism".

[SirVixofVixHall]

I like Bertrand's post just above.

[Eekaman]

And once again the ever charming and delightful anyfucker is calling me a wanker whilst making making inaccurate claims - how can she possibly know why my post was deleted or what I was doing while I was typing it?

Seriously anyfucker - do you really think men come here to try to get turned on? Haven't you heard of the internet, there's lots of porn out there and it's way more thrilling than anything in here. But every time a male comments in a manner thats a bit too sexual for you, you always accuse them of having a wank while they are writing the post. Honestly, learn a new song, please, the old one is getting tedious.

Keep the personal insults going anyfucker, it shows your personality off so well, mind you and johnfarley think I'm showing my personality as being an anal rapist and a wanker. :)

I'm off for a name change....

[suzannecanthecan]

I'm off for a name change

we'll just know it's you though

[AnyFucker]

I'm off for a name change....

jumping before you are pushed ?

Good luck with hiding your inadequacy.

[suzannecanthecan]

spose it makes a change from the usual 'Im hiding this thread' type of flounce :o

[AnyFucker]

Eekaman it's traditional to start your own "woe is me" thread in Flouncer's Corner and get lots of posters begging that you are such an asset to MN that you must stay

oh, hang on.....

[Ledkr]

is he still here? Blimey.

[Eekaman]

I was thinking of a nice, charming name much like anyfuckers....

I'm trying to choose between fluffyfluffybunnykins or analrapist, I'm sure anyfucker would prefer I go for the latter, saying, 'well if the cap fits', but sadly for her, it's not true, so I'll leave that one for now.

Anyhoo anyfucker, I note you didn't answer my points - again. As ever, great with the insults but poor with the answers.

[AnyFucker]

the only "question" is why you hang around a female dominated website telling us all about what a "deep dark thrilling" shagger you are

[suzannecanthecan]

would you just elucidate your points one last time Eekaman?
This thread has rambled about a bit and I can't remember what they were ?

[suzannecanthecan]

(do it in your new name if you like, we can pretend we dont know its you)

[AcrossthePond55]

Well, I like AF's name. But perhaps it would make Eekaman 'happier' if she changed it to 'AnyBumFucker' (can I say Bum Fucker on MN?).

[Eekaman]

Ah well.

Sexism, goading, personal insults - seems like I've got them all directed at me here. Charming :)

#notananalrapist

[Heckler]

This isn't Twitter. Hashtags don't work here. If you feel you have had personal insults, report them.

[Eekaman]

Thanks Heckler,

Tried that, got ignored - incorrect gender to get complaints listened to apparently.