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Secondary education

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Original poster

11 plus done.....now it's the waiting game to see if dd's passed. Anyone else feeling a bit stressed?

191 replies

littlebopeepsheep · 25/09/2017 14:32

I thought I'd feel great that it's all done, but I think I feel a bit worse now! DD came out of both tests feeling happy and that she'd done really well on one and pretty well on the other but you can't tell can you? I just worry that if she's not passed she will feel like a failure when she's never felt like that before. She also really loves the grammar school and will be so disappointed if she doesn't get in.

OP posts:
GuestWW · 25/09/2017 14:42

Fortunately we don't have to wait too long here - results on the 16th October. Remember even the score won't tell you if she has got in or not, the wait is on until 1st March. Do you have a good back-up option? This is my second year going through the process and I think it is harder on the parents than the children if handled well. We can do the worrying and they can just enjoy their last year at primary school.

Original poster
littlebopeepsheep · 25/09/2017 14:59

Luckily here it goes on distance from the school, so dd will get a place if she passes. Back up option is pretty good so it won't be a disaster if she doesn't pass. I think the pressure is on more because our other older dd passed and is loving it at the grammar and we would like both to have the same chances iyswim.

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 25/09/2017 15:01

The wait is horrible. I'll keep my fingers crossed for her.

In the meantime if there is any positive press about the back up place show your DD

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 15:02

I feel.worse too tbh. I'd have preferred dd came out crying she couldn't do it. Least that way I'd have escaped a month of not knowing.

I haven't taken dd to see the grammar as I didn't want her falling in love with the place or even hating it and adding to the stress.

The back up option is not good but nothing I can really do.

Live4theday · 25/09/2017 20:05

So pleased it's not just me! The high school open days start next week, so it is all seeming abit real now! Our backup options are not great, and she has her heart set on a grammar.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 20:10

So does dd1 now. Especially now she's taken notice of the fact it's all girls means there's no more sexist bull shit even it comes to sports and she won't have to watch the boys do cricket and not be able to play.

But late now though she needed to care about that months ago:(

Bobbins43 · 25/09/2017 20:17

16th October here too. I don’t actually get what the numbers will tell us. Presumably there won’t be a benchmark either?

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 20:20

It's the 13th in bucks.

Not sure how bucks scoring differs from anywhere else

MumTryingHerBest · 25/09/2017 20:22

Gileswithachainsaw there's no more sexist bull shit even it comes to sports and she won't have to watch the boys do cricket and not be able to play.

DC2 a couple of years away, wasn't aware that there were girls cricket teams. Runs off to find out which Grammar Schools in the area have girls circket teams :-)

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 20:24

Dd is a very keen cricketer!! Smile

The girls team at her school made it further than the boys teams in competitions!!

Smile
MumTryingHerBest · 25/09/2017 20:32

Gileswithachainsaw The girls team at her school made it further than the boys teams in competitions!!

OK, bit confused now. Is your DC already at Grammar School or due to join a grammar school that has a top performing Cricket team?

I can't find any with a top performing girls circket team, Obs. I need to do a lot more reasearch into the Bucks Grammars.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 20:34

No she's still at primary.

The scholl she wants to go to does alot if sports no idea if they are high performing teams.

I just meant she wants to go now because there won't be the segregation of sports there so often is now on mixed schools.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 20:34

She's in the cricket team (or was for the season and hopes to be again) at her current school

MumTryingHerBest · 25/09/2017 20:55

Gileswithachainsaw I just meant she wants to go now because there won't be the segregation of sports there so often is now on mixed schools.

I wasn't aware that there were girls grammar schools that excelled in cricket in the county league or cross county league.

Gileswithachainsaw · 25/09/2017 20:59

Sorry im.not explaining well clearly.

She loves her sport.

Secondary school is where it can often be the case that girl a have different sports choices to the boys.

She wants to go to the girls school as they have a better variety of after school sports and pe sports as there are no boys to assign other sports too.

Any county team would he an added bonus.

She is in the cricket team at her primary which recently reached regional finals

TheNext · 25/09/2017 21:27

I'm with you. I wish this wait could be over. I've found the whole thing hideous and given that it's computer-marked, can't see why we have to wait so long.

FoxyinherRoxy · 25/09/2017 22:11

Eurgh, I hate it also. I guess it takes longer because once the papers are marked, the raw scores are standardised. 5 week’s is a bloody long time.

Lots of children here are saying the tests were ‘easy’ because they answered all the questions so feel they’ve done well. Doesn’t mean they got them all right though, and i’m predicting a lot of disappointed children around here.

We’ve done the rounds of high schools and made a choice that we’re happy with. First choice is the GS but DD seems to be ok with the high school she’s chosen so we’ll see what the postman brings in a few weeks time.

TheNext · 25/09/2017 22:37

Actually, our comp is okay. Not amazing, but okay. It's miles away (rural catchment) and gets below average results but some kids do well and dc liked it at the open day.

The thing I worry about is the fact of not passing, and how that could undermine dc's confidence. When I saw all the kids go in on test day I couldn't stop thinking that two thirds wouldn't make it to grammar school and how disappointed they would be on results day. And maybe dc will be in that disappointed group, maybe not, but I hate the thought of lots of sad 10yosSad.

believebelievebelieve · 03/10/2017 12:28

I'm feeling really stressed today and still got a week and a half to go. Dd seems sure she's passed but I'm sure most dc who took the 11 plus feel the same as they're bound to think they answered the questions correctly. When my ds took the 11 plus 2 years ago our local high school (where dd will go if she doesn't pass) was in special measures and we were so relieved he passed I think some of the negativity about the other school has been passed onto dd. Even though the school is doing much better now I am so worried dd will be gutted and think she has let us down and that the other school is inferior because of it's history and our opinion on it when ds was doing the 11 plus. Aghhhh....

TeenTimesTwo · 03/10/2017 13:08

While you are in limbo, may I ask you all a question?

Would you prefer to live in an all comp area (irrespective now of whether your DC pass 11+ or not)?

believebelievebelieve · 03/10/2017 13:24

Tricky one. The 11 plus is stressful. But my eldest ds is absolutely thriving at grammar. He truly fits in for the first time and has met other dc who are like him and have the same interests as him. So actually I do feel lucky to have the option despite the stress.

Gileswithachainsaw · 03/10/2017 13:28

I think I would prefer it.

I mean if much rather but have had to put dd through it. I wish tht the choices aren't exam or one of the worst schools in county.

But that's probably more an issue with the standards of schools rather than the type of school.

Perigord · 03/10/2017 13:41

We're in a fully comp county with good comps. One girl in dd's year went private, everyone else went to a comp. I went to a grammar. I did fit in for the first time and meet other dc who were like me, but the same has happened for dd at her comp. I think at primary they are stuck with the same group of thirty, but at high school they are able to find their tribe in their year group as the year group is so much bigger and there is more mixing. Dd's also not experienced unkindness from the cool ones at high school as she did at primary. So i guess either can be an improvement socially on primary school.

Perigord · 03/10/2017 13:43

I suppose in a comp area the children who would normally be in a grammar are at the comp though, so there's no reason why they wouldn't be able to find like-minded kids.

Dixiechickonhols · 03/10/2017 14:07

I recall the period well. My DD sat 11+ last year. I've sat plenty of exams and you know how it went but this was all on the word of a 10 year old.
Just a heads up our results came early, due by 12th and arrived by post Saturday 8th (they had done same previous year too)
Our area a pass in catchment and you are in so you know by mid October they are in (yes you must put school as no 1 on CAF but 1st March is a formality)
It depends perigord In town we used to live in (full comprehensive area) any DC like mine used to move to nearby area for better schools (we did this), find faith and bus out of town to C of E, find faith and stay in town for RC, bus out of town to out of catchment grammars (3 within travelling distance) or go private (up north looking about £11,000 a year at secondary school) My Dd has just started yr 7 and no one I know in old town with a DC her age went to a bog standard comprehensive.
TeenTimesTwo We are not a fully grammar area (only 4 in whole county 2 mixed, one boys, one girls) so other 2 choices were outstanding comps. We moved here with a 7 year old from fully comp area and secondary schools were 1 reason for the move, but not only reason.

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