11 plus done.....now it's the waiting game to see if dd's passed. Anyone else feeling a bit stressed?

[littlebopeepsheep]

I thought I'd feel great that it's all done, but I think I feel a bit worse now! DD came out of both tests feeling happy and that she'd done really well on one and pretty well on the other but you can't tell can you? I just worry that if she's not passed she will feel like a failure when she's never felt like that before. She also really loves the grammar school and will be so disappointed if she doesn't get in.

[BertrandRussell]

As I said- my ds ended up in a school I really didn't want him to go to and neither did he. There were bumpy bits and I had to be a bit more proactive than I would have been if he had gone somewhere else, but it really was OK. So will yours be.

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

I think it is the child's disappointment which is the worst thing to manage. We are lucky in that the other schools are also very good. They have the same (or similar) GCSE options, but I know she will be sad if she doesn't pass. On the flip side this time last year I didn't think she even stood a chance of passing or even coping in any secondary school so a lot can still happen with a later developer.

[BertrandRussell]

Yes, the disappointment is horrid. Be prepared for the first few days back at school to be grim- but it dies down after a week or so. And please, if your child passes, do a bit of thinking with them about how to handle it with friends who haven't. There's another grim bit in the summer when induction days happen too. But it all works out in the end.

[bellabelly]

I'm going to hang on to that @BertrandRussell - it all works out in the end. Am not a fan at all of the grammar system but the boys REALLY liked our local one which is walking distance and it really would make life so much easier if they BOTH get a place there. Local comp (also easy walking distance) is really struggling and I will only put that as a "banker", I think. Such a shame as a few years ago, I'd have been happy to send them there.

[believebelievebelieve]

Your reassuring words are just what I need BertrandRussell - thank you. I keep waking up too early and fretting and things always seem worse when you do that! Logically I know dd will be OK at the local comp. I think it is the disappointment I am dreading more in a way.

[trinitybleu]

Hello all... 16th for us, probably. But had a letter saying results would come by email and then an email to say they'd be posted, so goodness only knows!

[believebelievebelieve]

That is a worry Giles. Our local comp was rated inadequate 3 years ago but did manage to become 'good' the following year. I still have reservations about it if I'm honest with myself, but I think I'm trying to repress them in case dd ends up there. Really hope your dd does well. Will she get a place at grammar if she passes or does she need a high mark as well?

[BertrandRussell]

Giles-if it's had an inadequate and no improvement in the follow up report, then things will start happening. What did the follow up report recommend?

[Gileswithachainsaw]

It says just a pass required although typically I worry she won't keep up there either

We did fall in love with the third school we visited but our chances are slim. Just hoping for a miracle with waiting lists. Extremely stressed about it all

[bellabelly]

Gileswithachainsaw - are there other schools nearby that would be a good back up? We're quite lucky here, in that there is a MASSIVE comprehensive a short bus ride away that I feel confident we'd get places because it's so very big. The PAN is enormous. Just seems so stupid to bus them to a school in another town when there's a comp on our doorstep BUT the difference between the two schools is incredible. The big one has a very wide range of subjects on offer and loads of extra curricular stuff. Our small local one feels like it's dying. Fewer and fewer students on roll, leading to fewer and fewer subjects on offer and the 6th form has recently closed (supposedly as a temporary measure but we'll see...) All this puts parents off applying and it's a vicious circle as the roll gets smaller still.

[bellabelly]

Sorry, cross-posted

[Gileswithachainsaw]

bert I'll pm you and maybe you could look and see something im.missing? Is that ok?

Don't want to quote or anything incase it's outing

There are a couple of other options but it's unlikely the only other one we would probably get isn't really any better and would cost more to get to

[BertrandRussell]

Happy to look, Giles. I'm sure you haven't missed anything though........

[Slippersandacuppa]

Trinity Don't suppose you're in a county beginning with 'w'? We've had the same email/ letter combo! I wonder if the letter could arrive on Saturday if they post it on Friday? I'm the same, eager to know one way or the other now so we can have a rough idea of what will happen next year. Its sort of exciting too though, isn't it?!

[GuestWW]

In the county beginning with W - last year it arrived on a Saturday having been posted on the Friday. Hoping the same is true this year.

[2boys1girl1dog]

Feeling the pressure here too! My eldest DS is at grammar school and DS2 really looks up to him and has always wanted to join him at the same school. However it became apparent once we started practising for the exam that DS2 found the work a lot harder than his older brother. He has tried so hard though and I'm dreading the results as I'm pretty sure he won't have passed. I couldn't talk him out of taking- I wanted to protect him from all of this. I can't bear to see him upset and dreading the impact it might have on him.
Also really doesn't help that his local secondary modern is pretty dire and although we've tried to 'big it up' to him he's adamant he doesn't want to go there.
So yes- v stressful!
At least on Thursday I'll have an idea of our next step- good luck to all of your children, its such a hard test, they've all done amazing in taking it

[layercake9]

Like @Taffeta we got our results by email and online login, so we kept checking both. I believe Kent Council sends them out in batches as they do need to release the results for 12000+ children, so they usually start trickling in from around 3pm onwards up until 7pm!

Our email arrived at 3.10pm but I didn't open it out of respect for ds who wanted to open it together. It was his exam after all, not mine. Some of his classmates got their results at 6pm, some at 5pm - all at varying times. Some could see their results online first before finally receiving the email, and vice versa.
Good luck for Thursday!

[shouldwestayorshouldwego]

Yes school the next day isn't pleasant. Fortunately for dd2 she has a real mixture of friends who took it and didn't take it so hopeful that she can find an appropriate niche in the playground. Dd1's friends almost all took it but only about half passed. It was a tough day. Most got in on appeal later though. It is the disappointment that I am dreading. I just hope that I don't feel like this for GCSE and A level results. I don't remember my parents being too concerned, but then I have barely discussed it with dd2 for weeks and have bigged up the secondary modern so maybe she thinks I have forgotten or thinks she has failed or worse thinks that she isn't good enough to pass.

[Middleoftheroad]

It can be harsh. They're only 10 (or 11).

I had to somehow balance showing excitement for the twin who passed and drying tears for the one who didn't

[bellabelly]

Oh Middleoftheroad - that's my big fear. How did you handle it? How did they? Any advice if that's what happens for my two?

[Middleoftheroad]

bellabelly - It was tricky, with everyone coming up asking us and congratulating one!

There's no easy way to explain especially when they are equal ability and looked set to both pass. That's the thing about the exam - if you don't perform on the day that's your lot. But fingers crossed this was just our experience and not yours.

Naturally one was over the moon for himself but sad for his brother. We were mindful to look at the grammar school website etc in 'secret' and could not 'celebrate' his 'success' properly either. But you know, kids are amazing and the twin who sobbed in my lap has only ever been happy for his brother. Not once has he been resentful even though he is still on a bumpy path at the comp while his twin is thriving at grammar.

We moved house to be nearer the gs and bigged up the comp that DT2 would be attending (we lost that place in June and had to appeal but that's another thread). Fortunately the boys have a great relationship and this did not suffer.


We did eventually get a gs place in Sep at another school but turned it down as son had started comp and was happy in those first 2 weeks. Sadly that's not working out now and we are regretting that.

Our story is quite unusual and we are still struggling, but throughout the conduct of my kids has made me proud. All you can do is let them know how brilliant they are and that they are more than one test (easier said than done maybe).

Good luck

[Middleoftheroad]

bella I'm in a county where nobody seems to win a gs appeal. It's superselective ten percent. If you live somewhere where appeals do get through and it's say 25 per cent then hopefully thia is something to bear in mind? I've heard of lots of twins both passing btw so please don't use my story as a typical example.

[bellabelly]

Ah, Middle - I think I remember reading your story before, maybe on the eleven plus forum or on here. Am really sorry to hear that your DS is not so happy at the comp now. Is GS now full? Is it worth going back on waiting list?
We are in Kent so an appeal might stand a chance but have just been reading that this year is a record breaking year for passes and there won't be enough places for everyone who passed...

[bellabelly]

Great to hear that your DT2 managed to feel happy for his brother. Not sure mine would be so generous. Which makes me feel even more fraught! Roll on tomorrow, just want to know now.