How do you describe being a stay-at-home mum to others?

[Stillhoping1990]

What do you say when people ask when are you going back to work or what do you do for work? Do you just say I’m a stay at home mum? Or is there another way of saying it? I’m always finding I need to then go on to justify my choice etc. A friend of mine calls herself a ‘home maker’.

The terminology stay-at-home parent is pretty silly. I'm sure that most SAHPs go out and about with their kids!

Being a SAHP is work, for sure. So I much prefer the difference to be described as working for pay or not working for pay. Or working outside the home. I suppose you could say "I work inside the home," but you're still working as a SAHP when you take the kids out to activities or do the school run or run family errands.

On balance, if I was a SAHP, I'd probably say "I work inside the home." I think that's so much more accurate than "I don't work." Also reminds the listener that there's a lot of work to be done in being a SAHP, which everybody knows, really, even if they judge.

I go in blunt - 'i dont do anything, I just take care of my dd - cook and clean' and then laugh and move on

Why would you say, ‘lucky enough’? I’m sure there was no fluke to this or tossing a coin?!! Just say you wanted to. If it’s something you’re happy with and enjoy, just say that! There’s no need to be apologetic about it. Own it and be proud of your choices.

School teachers teach. Afterschool workers keep safe and entertained. Childminders change nappies and feed and cuddle. Grandparents grandparent. While the mother isn’t there, nobody is mothering. It’s good that children don’t need to be mothered every minutes of their lives, isn’t it. Some children get more mothering than others though. Children who spend more time with their mothers, get more mothering. It’s obvious, isn’t it?

Same goes for fathering. Exactly the same.

And if both parents work, exactly the same goes for parenting.

Is that not true?

I just say I'm a stay at home mum, or "wrangler of small people". It's never occurred to me that I'd need to justify it and nobody has ever made me feel that way.