Well I am back with more stories to entertain you about my ex after a delay cos I was skyping my sister in Oz. She's lonely and at a loose end but she does have a supporting partner so I don't worry too much about her...
Let me tell you about the time 'my car broke down'....
My ex rang to tell me my (rather old but reliable Mazda) had broken down in the suburbs. (Donnybrook, if you're reading Maggie!). He said it was the radiator.
As I was the one with the AA membership it meant I had to get a taxi out to the spot where it had broken down. So half an hour and 20+ quid later as I was getting out of the taxi he rings me to say the car wasn't where he said it was - but in town in a multi-storey car park.
I walked back into town. I was raging, but I also found the walk on my own without kids a novelty so wasn't too apolectic at this stage.
I got to said car park and couldn't find the car. I rang him, only to be told it was in another multi-storey at the other end of town. So off I trotted again.
And yes, you guessed it, got to the second car park and no car. At this point myself and the dc were going to be late for dinner at the mil's - so I rang her and told her what was going on. She weedled out the exact location of my (non broken down car!) from my h and I was able to finally retrieve it.
Funnily enough, my mil made no comment about the bizarre actions of my ex h that day. Almost as though she wasn't surprized?
Another good one was when my ex bought me a ticket to go to New York. He knew just how much I really, really wanted to go and this was a reward 'for being so efficient and running things so well'.
I was so excited that I told my mil and sil. My sil decided that if I didn't mind, she'd come with me and so booked a flight too. She even gave me some dollars in a birthday card to me to get us ready for our adventure.
A month later I did something to anger my h. I can't even remember what it was now!
Of course he cancelled my NY trip. My sil went alone. And again, nothing was said by either mil or sil.
So lets talk about money. When my mil came into an inheritence she gave my h and I a couple of grand. My h split it with me as this was expected. Within I'd say, 2 weeks, he had 'borrowed' my half back. On cue of the next row between us and that was the last I had seen of that money.
He also borrowed a couple of thousand euro from me which I had been saving from doing some p/t work. It was my savings to go out to Oz to visit my sister who had just had her much longed for baby. He convinced me however that my sister had 'done nothing' for me and wasn't worthy of my visit. He would use the money to benefit our family instead!
I never saw that money again.
There are more tales like this. Some insignificant now, some I have forgotton. But cruel, you know?
I can honestly say, that no matter how bad a person I am or was, I would never go to such lengths to punish somebody. It is cold and calculating. He once tied me up and insisted I had sex with him to prove I was sorry. He wrote on the walls in marker and my lipstick. He'd wake me up in the early hours by putting the bedroom light on to interrogate me. The more aware I became of his cruel behaviours, the more subtle he became in exerting them.
He was unspeakably nasty to me. But it was all my fault! I deserved it all. Apparently.
I believed him too at the time. Now, however, I would like to stamp on his head and gring it into the ground