Turned my back on MN for 24 hours and look: FTB, you did it! Well done. It was the right thing, you know it was. The bit you hated yourself for was the indecisiveness, calling him back, sending mixed messages. You've got past that and he does know where he stands. Not your fault at all if he will not now accept that. And he won't accept it, because it's not in his interests to. That doesn't matter. He still doesn't come in.
It says a wealth about his inner soul that he is collecting everything that his parents paid for, whether or not they will ever be any use to him, even things that were bought for the children. The children don't matter to him. He is the only person who matters to him. (Why the lawnmower? He doesn't even have a lawn! As for the baby clothes etc, words fail me.) You are not at the moment strong enough to say "No, you won't take that, your parents may have bought it but they bought it for this family, not for you personally". That's ok. Things can be replaced. But one day you're going to look back and be really angry at his pettiness. I hope you forgive yourself at that future time for not having stood up to him, as the new strong "you" will be able to. You're so ground down right now, of course you can't fight back, you've done brilliantly to do what you have done. I know it doesn't feel brilliant but it will!
A word on "love". I've said this before on a thread, I'm sure. Self-centred people love others the way a baby loves a teddy-bear, something that is theirs that they can hug or bite or throw around, they'd scream the place down if it was taken away because it is their toy. They do not empathise with it, no-one's going to say don't hurt it, because teddies don't have feelings. Most of us grow out of that phase, learning to treat our parents, siblings, pets with consideration, learning to understand how other people feel, wanting to please them. Ns are stuck in baby/teddy relationships for ever, because they can't make that connection.
And a word on cuddles too. Right now, of course you want a cuddle, it's a horrible life-changing uncertain time for you, and a pair of warm adult arms around you is a huge comfort. (Children's arms around you are totally lovely in quite another way, at least you will still have plenty of that!) But it's all twisted and unhealthy because the comforting arms belong to the person who's hurt you. It's so confusing. Your life partner is the person you should be able to turn to for comfort if it were a properly functioning relationship. But this empty person is just using the illusion of caring to manipulate you. Like watching a good movie, a hug from an abuser is short-term feel-good stuff, but it shouldn't be confused with reality. Hope that makes some sort of sense...