Just caught DH on hedgehog camera. Please help.

[coppernails]

Name changer. Please don?t shout troll and please don?t use this face because I?m devastated and shocked & sickend and I have no idea what to do.

My husband is in our shed. I have just watched him do something to himself with sandpaper. I set up a camera down in the shed today which is from a hedgehog home surveillance thing I?ve been given as a present. I took the camera out of the hedgehog box and have left it on the work bench. I was testing it out (wireless) with our telly eralier. I was just flicking through the channels when the hedgehog camera channel came up and that?s how I saw DH and what he was doing.

We?ve been through a bad time just recently and I know we have a long way to go before things are ok again but I don?t think I can forgive this. I want to be sick. How will I talk to him? What will I say when he comes in? I cant sleep with him tonight. Please help.

how do you know it was sandpaper? I heard a piece of steak was more realistic

he makes lampstands for people - what with????

I'm glad a bloke has arrived to give us a man's opinion.

does one want a smooth vibration free performance?

"his bottom globes"???

I'm sorry, but now I have to , if not

"bottom globes"

ah, only sanding his balls?

well that's understandable then

"3000 reciprocating 1-inch strokes per minute save you time."

lolol this would only occur on a MAN'S TOOL DESCRIPTION

No sewing machine would do this

at bottom globes

"Is the camera colour?"

Bit of a waste IMHO, hedgehogs are kinda beigy

so........? did you say something?

it sounds painful. I know my dh would yelp if i accidentally scratched him with my nails. have you asked him why?

He thought it would be a good caper
To pleasure himself with sandpaper
But he played with such vigour
That it didnt get bigger
It got smaller and started to taper...

Seriously tho, is he aware of your frettage over his frottage?

ooh I don't know. If he was gently tickling with sandpaper rather than actually, you know, sanding...

perhaps it was all he had to hand

Im sorry what the hell are BOTTOM GLOBES????

Tell him he sanded to late, May was the time for dancing round the pole....splinters in June just don't count

Pingviner!

What about the hedgehogs?

Does no-one care about the hedgehogs?

What manner of evil have they witnessed?

Fabulous pingviner

"Bottom globes" ...I'm confused as to whether this refers to testicles or buttocks.

Please enlighten me.

this is hilarious, i am not sure what to think, are we meant to add comments or just snigger in the corner

Pingviner That is fab. Made me laugh and laugh and laugh!

snigger its OK - year before last we had a particularly amorous male hedgehog that would roger female hedgehog whilst she was eating from the cat food plate. If OP's hedgehogs are anything like these they won't be shocked, and they's get the 'ouch, ouch, jesus, ouch' factor totally too.

So what are thehedgehogs doing whilst this sandpaer business is going on? Do the hedgehogs mind?

I'm pretty sure 'globes' is Viz for bollocks