Just caught DH on hedgehog camera. Please help.

[coppernails]

Name changer. Please don?t shout troll and please don?t use this face because I?m devastated and shocked & sickend and I have no idea what to do.

My husband is in our shed. I have just watched him do something to himself with sandpaper. I set up a camera down in the shed today which is from a hedgehog home surveillance thing I?ve been given as a present. I took the camera out of the hedgehog box and have left it on the work bench. I was testing it out (wireless) with our telly eralier. I was just flicking through the channels when the hedgehog camera channel came up and that?s how I saw DH and what he was doing.

We?ve been through a bad time just recently and I know we have a long way to go before things are ok again but I don?t think I can forgive this. I want to be sick. How will I talk to him? What will I say when he comes in? I cant sleep with him tonight. Please help.

WTF are bottom globes? Is that the equivalent of saying twinkle when you mean vulva?

I hope he doesn't move on from the sandpaper and actually use a hedgehog.

Because that's got to be illegal, surely?

Is the OP perhaps writing ladies erotica...."he gently sanded his bottom globes waiting for her touch..."

OP, sorry I feel for you, I dont mean to be nasty.

From urban dictionary

Sandpaper condoms are condoms, usually used by emo kids to endure more pleasure as they like pain, while having sex. This is common practice in australia
sean: ooh sophie, your so hot lets just have sex here.
sophie: emo sex?
sean: naturally.
sophie: then lemme just get out the sandpaper condoms
sean: ooh you like it nasty.

Claire: I had some hedgehogs mating last year - went on for HOURS. I thought drunk burglars were wrestling in my rose bushes

Mrs Tiggywinkle's a shameless hoor??

i remember hearing screaming outside our kitchen window when I was about 14. OUr whole family then spent the next half an hour listening to two frantic hedgehogs shagging and couldn't believe how noisy it was and painful it sounded. very surreal watching sexual acts with whole family, including jiggling undergrowth.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

No sorry Gums, you have lost me again. What is emo sex?

Pmsl jiggling undergrowth

I tried to say something but i couldn't get the words out. he just asked me to fetch the teak oil from the kitchen. there are no hedgehogs yet because i haven't installed the home in the garden yet. it looks like this one but the camera is wireless

i have to deal with this. i'm upset because he feels the need to do this but i know many men wank but i have never known of this before. how can I google it?

i feel so bad. i feel like i must be a failure if he needs to do this. our cat likes to go in the shed too.

i know it was sandpaper because i could see it.

i shocked myself at my own unconscious smutty wit. I am a good girl really

pmsl at this thread

Do we have a picture of a sandpaper condom?

Does it prevent unwanted pregnancies?

Or just allow a chap a smooth finish?

Bloody hell! Wat's he going to use the teak oil for????

Maybe coppernails was hoping to video some hot hedgehog action?

Aha well now you have told us all. The cat likes going in the shed. He likes stroking the pussy does he?

i've heard of this before.

but basically he was just having a wank. i don't think it's the end of the world. as long as he's meeting your needs, surely it's ok?

By NoBiggy on Tue 09-Jun-09 22:05:56
I hope he doesn't move on from the sandpaper and actually use a hedgehog.

Because that's got to be illegal, surely?

I fear that is the natural progression of things

Have no idea Dumbledoresgirl googled sandpaper sex and urban dictionary came up with that, was news to me so thought I would enlighten you.

at "teak oil" and "our cat likes to go in the shed too"

i must add that if it is all true i guess be thankful he is doing it to himself and not to anyone else, or you!

teak oil = lubricant clearly

is it wet/dry sandpaper? Because things could get messy.........