The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

It's normal. Me too. The key thing is let us talk you out of acting on it.💐

Can you write a list of all the reasons he wasn't good for you?

Re a partner doing something with an opposite sex friend.
For me, if I was dating and they said they were doing something 1 to 1 with a male friend, I would feel jealous and a bit on edge, but there's no way I would try and stop them, as that would be controlling behaviour, and the feelings of jealousy and on edge would be for me to deal with not my partner. But I would also expect the same freedom in reverse.

@MrFlintstone I said it was a sign we were not compatible and if it was going to be something that happened in our future then I'd be leaving. I'm not sure that was controlling.
Though in this case she was one of many exes. My DH went on a 1:1 holiday with his bff soon after we met. I was ok with that because he had one long term female friend and they were both in relationships.

@Ilovelurchers we're nearly at the end of the thread - would you be able to start the new one please and weave in your very cool post to the rules post?

Ooh, OK - I will give it a go! Just out shopping with my daughter now, but I have some time this afternoon so I will try my best to put something together..... Thank you for asking me! ❤️❤️❤️

Thanks @Ilovelurchers hope you have a fab time!

I've done another thread! Can you all come over - I don't know how to tag you all on it! (Is there an easy way or do I need to note down everyone's names and copy them out. I can do that if that's the best way).

I think it’s fair to have your own boundaries. There’s a big difference between someone wanting to be “friends” with exes and being a friend with someone they’re known from school etc.

Fun Bobby is no more. On Friday he said can we meet Monday, yesterday he said can we meet today and he would message in the morning., he also asked me if I wasn’t feeling it because he has a lot going on and not able to plan at the moment, I asked if he wanted an out and he said no. Didn’t hear from him until 1pm today and said he didn’t know if / when he would be free because his ex was visiting I’ll mother in hospital. I said that’s okay if you end up being free later I can pop over but if you are full on we can postpone.
heard nothing by 4pm so I ended up messaging saying I can’t work with this because of the lack of communication. Which he accepted.

so that’s that 🤷‍♀️

@AlwaysCarrieSATC sorry about slightly tedious Bobby.

How are you feeling?

New thread here

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5585490-the-dating-thread-64-the-leaves-are-falling-and-so-are-the-irons-at-our-feet-hopefully-and-not-gently-binwards?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

Agree with that!!

ivr just had some one stop messaging me as I was too cautious about his banter. He was impatient tho imo. He said I’m out!

Hey All - missed so much! Been very busy.

Just my own update - selfishly - whilst I’m rushing. Off on holiday with Mr TS in the morning - I’m so not sure how it will go. As always terrific in person but terrible apart so there’s that lol. But we’ve been arguing which we never did, or rather I argue and he just smooths it over ha though idk what he really thinks I occasionally learn later after beer or something unfiltered falling out his mouth.

Yesterday I went to take him to see a relative and my bloody car broke in his local shopping precinct before I got there - 10-15 mins walk from him. I sat there for 6 hours in end till it was fixed - he never text or came up but apparently this is
a/ he thought AA would be out fast
b/ what could he do!

He did turn up in the end on his own shopping expedition though so by chance - knew I was pissed off but didn’t get it. Tried to explain in text but that didn’t work - like I just wanted him to come up a bit or text now and then idk if that’s dramatic or princessy - hopefully comms on holiday may be better!

Anyway wishing you all the best dates in the world and pestilence on those that don’t deserve you! I’ll be back - less self interestedly next time.

@MsJinks have a great trip away - that sounds selfish of him. Time to prioritise yourself?

I’m due to hopefully meet the guy for a third date this weekend. Quick question - we’ve had 2 dates where we’ve been out walking and chatting and it’s felt very natural and I’ve been realy comfrptable. He’s suggested he’s free again this Saturday or Friday - Friday would be evening - I’m thinking perhaps I should mix it up a bit and do more of a datey- date of an evening or should I stick with a Saturday daytime walk because that’s where I’ve been really comfortable.

Even though I’ve felt really comfortable I always feel super awkward at the end of the date, we’ve hugged twice but I’m thinking a little kiss would be nice without any awkwardness.

Also thinking I get to dress up a bit nicer on a Friday eve. Hmm not sure what to suggest

update on date with Mr sea, met for a coffee he was very chatty , we go on okay but he did talk about himself a fair bit , he had a lunch booked so went but left saying had a great time will message you later, but 4 days later nothing, I wasn’t sure on him anyway, may have given a 2nd date a go just because my friends say im too fussy but certainly not followed up as not fussed either, nice guy just not for me. Mr Fit on other hand lots of messages which have got a but flirty ? is that okay if both like it, its flirty but respectful , banter really. Had a phonecall which went well, lasted 1 hr and meeting sat so hopefully we click in person, def my type in looks dept. It as at least given me hope there is a few decent ones , just finding match with each other.

That impatient guy reappeared. I’m now wondering if it’s some sort of manosphere tactic. He’s still being impatient and pushing my boundaries

@MsJinks @Zara445 @beingtakenforafool @Reginablitzing

Hi All

There's a new thread - https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5585490-the-dating-thread-64-the-leaves-are-falling-and-so-are-the-irons-at-our-feet-hopefully-and-not-gently-binwards?page=1

Hope to see you over there