The Dating Thread 62 - They'll be FALLing for you 💖💕💘

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

@IlovelurchersThis is why I love this thread you speak so much sense. I need to be better at speaking sense to myself. If nothing else dating is way more entertaining than sitting alone a lot of the time. I am exploring what my boundaries are currently and that is for me to work out and not anyone else. I wouldn't mind if I asked for advice but I haven't. Rant done! Coffee date shortly! I think he is just up for a casual thing but you know what after a 20 year marriage that might be light relief!!

@Thiswillbefun- ooh enjoy - it’s learning isn’t it - learning what works for you in many ways and having fun on the way - we do like an update on this thread.

@Ilovelurchers always had very sound advice for us all. But this thread is so supportive- it’s hard to moan or run things past family as they just get cross for you - ‘friends’ can be another kettle of fish altogether!

I had a friend way back - never stopped criticising any dates of others, then criticised if we weren’t getting any - almost instructing us - but after I met who she finally married - hmm but I didn’t criticise, just once I made a slight comment when he was beyond unsupportive but apparently I didn’t understand him/men etc due to my single status.

Best this stuff is kept away from folk who are like this!

@Ilovelurchers…she’s an adult and knows the risks. Exactly that. ✅

Wow just wow!! Such chemistry from casual guy!! He has invited me out tomorrow :)

Fantastic news! What sort of date tomorrow? X

@Ilovelurcherswatching a rugby match in an outdoor pub tomorrow. I haven't felt this good in literally years! It gives me hope :)

Great job!

Please sprinkle a bit of that fairy dust on me!

Just deleted Hinge. My ex pulled another ridiculous stunt a few weeks ago that has left me no choice but to keep my son away from him as best I can . No dating for me . Probably for the best.

Oh no! What did he do?

And good job your son has you!

He’s an alcoholic that’s already established
but a few weeks ago he was arguing in the car with his current wife and when she mentions divorce he grabs the wheel at 75mph on the motorway with both kids in the car . Luckily she manages to regain control of the car

Dear God that's horrific.

I'm so sorry xxx

fantastic! Everything crossed.

@duckingcluelessthank you. I had the best time and seeing him again tomorrow to watch rugby. We only arrange the date this morning after starting speaking this morning. I shall sleep well :)

@TheThingOnTheIce I wanted to show solidarity as my ex did similar when we were together, trying to jump out a moving car. Hes sober now but I remember how scared I was. I also felt like I shouldn't be dating. Just too much drama. I would say the right person would understand but the reality is most irons dont want extra drama so I would concentrate on keeping as much distance from your ex as possible.

Thanks all for the wishes about my job! It seems to have come at the right time for me.

Thank you and sorry you’ve been through similar
I don’t think my ex will ever get sober and even if he does how does he prove it?
I simply won’t have the time to date and really I just don’t want to . I’m still not really over my last ex who did know the situation and would have been a great help through all of this .

@TheThingOnTheIce 💐💐💐

That sounds like a fun date! I love the rugby
and doing anything that isn’t just going for a drink. It’s all about the fun! Well it should be :)

Oh my God, how appalling. Feel so sorry for you, your kids, his current wife.....

Whatever his addiction issues, it's still an active choice to get behind the wheel, especially with his wife and kids in the car - unforgivable.

And very hard for you too, being expected to co-parent with such a person.

Do you have support and anyone you can talk to in real life? It's such a lot to cope with.

And yes, your kids are so lucky to have you. Xxx

That sounds absolutely brilliant! I hope you have an excellent time. The only time I have ever felt that excited about an on line date, it was my ex who I ended up seeing for about 5 years! I'd love to feel that excitement again, but it's just not happening for me currently.....

@Ilovelurchers or me. Nothing doing.

Two potentials but one went quiet when asked to identify a pub and the other wants to organise something nearer the time (Thursday) a bit drippy.

Eta I miss Crashing's warmth...even though he was crashing in slowmo.

Even if it only ends up being 2 dates it exactly shows me how I deserve to feel! Such a revelation to feel good about myself with a man :) We literally matched less than 24 hours ago. I had others I was due to meet and one of those wants to stay in touch even though I told him about me seeing someone a 2nd time. We ended up in a pub with a live band last night and I went home alone :) I'll be back tomorrow worrying that he hasn't messaged 🤣

So glad it's going well 😁

Ooh this is good however it goes - so pleased.
I had hot hot chemistry with Mr T from get go - and it’s 4 months on and just gets more so! He is a lovely guy too - it just all suddenly raised my bar so high though!

I definitely think that however it pans out I’ve had a good run with a nice man - it took me to 60 though lol. Otoh yeah I get all overthinking as well - this morning it’s all very much worth that 😆

Enjoy - and we love a good update on here!

Ohh - I get that - warmth is so nice - Mr T is warm, present and affectionate- whilst I went decades without it ok, once you have it again it is something nice.

I guess I also get sorta enough warmth from my grandkids and any lurking cat I spot haha so I was ok - but I’d miss it now too yes.

crashes could not have maintained it though - you’d have been wondering if it was going to be withdrawn soon - anxiety time then - worse of all scenarios. I know it mightn’t feel like it today though but this is just a brain trick searching for a dopamine and maybe oxytocin hit - which you’ll get again outside of a plane crash 💐