Husband said he wants to split up and I’ve been totally blindsided - part 2

[mummy917]

Made a new thread as the original one is almost full 😊rel

Agree..

I also thought, you did the right thing getting him to face his DD and explain it himself. He's a stinking coward and he hoped to use you as the messanger for all the unpleasant facts to convey to the children - so he didn't have to
Also. How are you expected to understand his last minute mind change and convey that to the children. He's so spiteful and pathetic.

But also because he's such a nasty lying piece of work, so that he could claim complete innocence to the children and falsely accuse you of the entire break up.. "Well Mummy wanted me to leave so I had to kids, I'm the good guy, she's the bad person." More difficult for him to welsh out face to face and at the time, rather than a year down the line. They will remember. Let this be the last time you have to be his messenger.

Totally agree, no more discussions with him. He's not going to reasonably discuss anything, he just uses it as an opportunity to hurt, insult and falsely accuse you. Record in the parenting app that since he refused on xx date to discuss access to DC.. your suggestion is as you've said before xyz...let him start accusing you by text if he's going to and then you have a record of what a swine he's being about this.

Your children will be OK - because they have YOU, clearly a far better person to be in charge of them.

A hard weekend for you, but the thorn in your side is about to remove itself and then the only way is up.

just spotted the wardrobe 😂

enjoy your film and bubbles 🍾

Well really @mummy917 - if only you hadn't been so controlling, not only would that wardrobe not have broken, it would probably have walked itself down the stairs and jumped into the van. It's all your fault! (Wah wah!)

Hope you enjoy your fizz!

Toasting you with OP. Better times ahead. x

I’ve followed this entire thread without comment (though obviously rooting for you all the way). You’ve been on my mind all day. The wardrobe has made my day! Please tell me you collapsed with it in a fit of giggles. Enjoy your champagne - and the rest of your life without this huge arsehole weighing you down and making you doubt yourself ❤️❤️❤️

I will shortly be going to my fridge to get a small bottle of Prosecco out, so I can properly toast the demise of the wardrobe... #clinkclink

Well done you, seriously... the second slurp will be to your future happiness!

Enjoy the champagne! You deserve it after all the crap you have had to put up with! Hoping the kids are ok and that you enjoy having some space from your man child soon to be ex husband! Hoping the divorce goes smoothly and he actually co parents without giving you any grief and that you move forward and enjoy life without his dead weight dragging you and your self esteem down ❤️

The wardrobe falling apart on the stairs is definitely karma ...

Enjoy movie night with your kids, and then champagne with your bestie.

💐

I’ve just caught up with all your messages, and thank you so so much for all cheering me on! I’m so grateful and it means so much to me 😊💛

I did chuckle to myself but I tried to not let him see because I didn’t fancy another bicker. His face was a picture though, and now he’ll have to live out of his hold-all until he can buy a wardrobe 🤣

I am just settling the oldest two kids for bed, we have had a lovely treat night and me and my best friend are about to open the champagne! 🥂🍾

The house already feels so much calmer and I’ve managed to do some de-cluttering and cleaning tonight too. The kids have been fine to be honest, much better than I was expecting!

I have my key back and he has zero reason to now come into MY home anymore 🥳

I know I will have wobbles but although today has been hard, it hasn’t been as yesterday so I’m taking that as a small win!

I will raise a glass to each and every one of you lovely people and here’s to the next chapter! 💛 I hope you all stick around to see what shit he tries to pull next xx

I am toasting you OP. Enjoy that champagne you deserve it.

I also love “twattoo” 🤣

There We Are Then.

Honestly I’m going to trademark it and you pass it to you.
You could make a fortune - socials, guides for other women, we’d all cheer and subscribe.

I'm so pleased it all went well.

Welcome to the best years of your life ❤️

You're dealing with his selfishly upending all your lives so admirably. You'll have bad days but the trajectory you're on will make them fewer and further between quicker than you'll be expecting.

Plenty more things will fall apart on him while you'll be enjoying your happy end to this rendition of The Lioness, the little Bitch and the Wardrobe. You've earned that champagne and all the good things coming your way without his negativity an selfishness weighing you down besides. Cheers OP we're all rooting for you.

What a fab update! I’m so thrilled about the wardrobe, serves him right for be8ng so tight! And enjoy that champagne, you’ve earned twice over!

Clink clink cheers to you! Congrats

You've done so well. You should be very proud of yourself.

Goodbye to bad rubbish !
As an aside , you say you have the key back but don't assume he hasnt taken a copy of it . Still change the locks asap and if you can lock the door from the inside whilst you are at home . Don't forget the same , change / lock the back door .

Edited to add , Welcome to your new life .

I am cheering you on @mummy917 I am glad the house feels calmer now that he has gone and that you have had a chance to declutter and clean. Hopefully he has taken all of his shit with him but if not then either ebay anything that remains or bin.

Are you able to claim a reduction in council tax and / or any support via universal credit. Have a look at entitledto. Every little bit helps when you are effectively now a single parent because I doubt Twattoo will step up and actually parent 50/50. Glad that the children have coped ok. They and you are deserving of a calm peaceful sanctuary that he never sets foot in again.

If possible I would also take control and file for divorce and dont wait for him to do it as you then retain control over the timing of the application for the conditional and final orders.

Cheers @mummy917 🥂 You are handling it all so well.

Here's to your next chapter!

Cheers @mummy917 🍾♥️🍾! We are all with you and wishing you all the strength and support you need as you navigate this next chapter but well done you ♥️ x

I'd love for you to slip in a
Can u not tonight

I plan on speaking to my landlord on Monday about changing the locks. Obviously I’d pay for it as I really don’t want him to have any chance of getting back in if he has been sneaky about it.

Hehehe I do love all of these little acronyms 🤣 I will be using them for years to come!

Yeah, I’ve gotten a reduction in council tax which will be effective from 1st July and I am getting some universal credit although not sure how much yet.

I am definitely going to go full steam ahead for the divorce when he no doubt tells me he can’t afford it.

I am going to bed feeling a strange sense of calm. My best friend has just left and I did say to her before she went, that I am worried about it hitting me like a tonne of bricks over the coming days, because no doubt it will. But as I’ve said before, it’s not him I’m pining for anymore, it’s more sadness for the life I had planned for myself and the kids. But this new one will be even better, I’ll do everything in my power to make sure of it 😊

@mummy917

So proud of how far you’ve come over the last 3 months!!

Absolutely! - We’ll be here!

Enjoy the peace and calm! ❤️

Also love Twatoo! 😂

Sleep well! You’ve earned your rest.

Yes, and like with all losses that takes time, and you really are going in the right direction.

Part of trauma work is about reclaiming your life - you are doing it wonderfully!!

Be kind to yourself when you have your wobbles, they’re part of being human and an important part of the processing. It’s how you respond to them that matters.