Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

No actually I don't, I actually don't have a physical type and of the three relationships I have had two of them were with women who shared traits that aren't associated with conventional beauty standards, so I can safely say I don't judge partners on their looks no

The comment by the PP had an element of spiteful malice to it, and my height was used against me in that, so I think my reply was perfectly fair and certainly not misogynistic

Of course, I am aware its always been around, the saying tall dark and handsome has been around for eons so height has obviously always been valued in men, the same way certain physical traits have always been valued for women. I just think its been amplified hugely by social media in the last few years to the point where its been blown out of proportion and much younger generation men are believing that if you are not 6ft tall, being the typical example, you are permanently viewed as unattractive and you basically stand absolutely no chance in dating [yes other things are included too but dating is definitely the core of it all], which just isn't the case

That does actually make sense to me, I have noticed a trend in very young males getting taller but at the same time its not uncommon to see boys of this age group below 6ft, I work in a University environment so am amongst this age group all the time and I generally seem to sit somewhere in the middle between the young male students and the middle age/older academics, lecturers, facilities staff etc, and there are a reasonably significant number of students close to my height, as well many that are taller

I’m not in the UK. I’m 5’2” and my late DH (of many years, I married young) was 5’8” - he always thought he was short, and was the shortest amongst his friends and colleagues, but seemed tall beside me.

I’ve had three situationships since I’ve dipped my toe in the dating pool again, (all met in real life), and they have been 6’2”, 6’8”(!!) and most recently 6’4”. Not chosen for height, or really for physical reasons (well, not consciously anyway). All personality and charisma, but it has made me realise that I am actually super attracted to really tall guys. Unfortunately none of them have worked out, but it has made me realise that I do now have a preference for taller guys, although I don’t think I would ever immediately rule out dating men under, say 5’8” or so.

And I certainly never found any lack of intimacy due to the height difference (as some pp have), quite the opposite!

Most of my friends who are dating usually only seem to want someone who is at least a couple of inches taller than them, which is obviously very varied. Even my best friend who is a 6’1” female, and always fantasised about meeting someone a few inches taller than her, married a guy who was 5’6” and is now very happily settled with (and has had a child with) a lovely 6’ guy.

Im a guy who is 5'11", I have definitely fallen victim of th 6ft rule with online dating. That one inch was just too much to overlook.

I'm also a member of a rowing club, so im positively short in that environment.

I’m 36 with kids, so no biological clock rush for me and I took time to find someone who makes me happy and was a long term prospect. When I was online dating, height was not a requirement. I wanted a good man; one I’d click with. I’ve been with him for 2.5 years now and he is 5”7.

My friend stayed single until 6 months ago because she wouldn’t consider any guy under 6ft, and has dated men who were drug addicts, unemployed losers etc all because she wanted someone tall and good looking. She didn’t care who they were. She is an idiot, who had just turned 38 and desperately wants a baby but has spent 20 years being extremely picky and… I hate to say it… but she isn’t exactly a catch herself, so she was always going to struggle and she put extra roadblocks in her own way all because of height. Now she is with 6”5 man, who works part time minimum wage, has no savings, and she doesn’t even seem to like him. But he said yes to trying for a baby so there we are. Some people are idiots.

I have many female friends who have been long term single who although no longer using online dating absolutely refused point blank to date any guy under 6ft.

Most of them continually harp on about hating being single, there are no good men out there. Yet suggest they consider lowering their height limit to even 5ft 10 gts me with "absolutely not". One of them is 5 ft 4 and has been single for almost 20 years and at times has been very depressed about it, especially as she's now too old to have her own children.

I think it's rather sad.

I don't really go for tall men, I've dated taller guys but my ideal is about 5'7 to 5'10 that seems to be the type I find most attractive. I am 5 foot 5. Also average height for men in the UK is about 5 foot 9 so over 6 foot isn't the norm.

For some people height really matters. Weight, hair color, kids or no kids, and dental health also things that may or may not really matter. So what? Dating isn’t an equal opportunity endeavour that demands a level playing field.

I’m not sure why the preference for some
women for taller men inspires so much anxiety in particular, outside of shorter men being pissy about being at a perceived disadvantage and trying to make women responsible for solving this ‘problem’ and sparing their feelings. As if those complaining about this are more entitled to a chance with a woman, than a woman is to her own preference.

I’m not a ‘girl’, I’m a 45yr old woman.

I don’t ‘dislike’ short men. Why would I? How on earth would someone’s height impact if I liked them or not?

You’re coming across very incel-y now.

Are men under six foot single then? it is always the losers in society that think this kind of thing. My husband is a little shorter than I am but he had tons of personality to make up for it. Just saying.

I think there’s always been a thing about men’s height. There’s a long-standing thing in French culture about not marrying a woman taller than you. It’s always been a bit of a comedy joke with a wee (put upon bloke) marrying a stout , buxom woman who’d be after him with her skillet for his many misdeeds. I grew up with the broons annuals for Christmas so my opinion may be skewed.

It’s always just been taller though and there are plenty of shorter women. Social media has exacerbated it though and lying blokes haven’t helped.

A good friend of mine did an OLD experiment and changed his height on profile from below 6 feet, to 6 feet. Says that the engagement ramped up.

Whether people like it or not, 6ft or above is the only acceptable height for men. Im 5'6. At work, boys as young as 8 are already worried they wont be tall enough. I,ve been at the gym for four years getting into great shape but sadly nothing will make me taller.

One of my Y6 girls said that when she first met me see knew I was single. She said "You work in a Primary School and you're under 6ft.'

Doesn't matter what else you have, and online dating your like the invisible man.

Sorry to hear this is your experience, I agree lots of women want taller men. However lots don't! I wouldn't want to be with a man who is 6ft. One of my friends will only date men around her height (5'1!)

And yet in real life, plenty of short men are happily married.

Of course, they might not be married to size 8 Sydney Sweeny lookalike gym bunnies.

That right, is it ? I suppose they should be grateful for anything they can get.

I dont know who Sydney Sweeney is. As it is I do go to the gym three times a week and I would welcome a partner to work out with. Heathly body means healthy mind, and im 50 next year.

Still, perhaps I should be grateful for anything I can get ?

I'm sure plenty are married to women that they are obsessed with and didn't feel like they had to settle at all.

Just because you have a list of preferences, doesn't mean you will get what you want if those people aren't interested in you.

This is the problem with dating apps, people think they can put their wishlist on there and then they will get someone who ticks all those boxes. But that's not how relationships work.

It's like this incel 80/20 stuff where they believe 80% of women are chasing after the most attractive 20% of men and all other men are hopeless.
Go to any pub, supermarket, high street or school playground at pick up time and look at couples there and it will quickly become clear that's not true.
Maybe the most attractive 20% of men and women end up together, but men and women of all heights, weights, attractiveness and wealth have happy relationships and families.

Should you be grateful for anything you get? Change your mindset.

My ex wasn't 6'6, but close. There are some practical disadvantages to having too much of a heigh gap in a couple, even if it looks attractive or nice.

If you've listened to this issue for long enough online, you'll see that there is almost an outrage to women having a height preference. As in, the AUDACITY of women having a preference like this as all!

The outrage seems to be based on the fact that women can and do filter out men based on physical attributes, but that anger usually betrays a sense of entitlement. It shows that those men think it's absolutely fine for themselves to have preferences in breast, body size, height or whatever (because I assume that most men wouldn't want a woman who is 6 inches taller than them).....but they feel a lot of anger at the thought that they could be filtered out in a similar way.

Ouch. What an arsehole. So rude and mean.

@OtterlyAstounding The average female height is about 5'3, and when you try on clothes as a taller woman, this is really obvious in things like coat lengths and where the waist sits in tops.

It would be to your advantage to focus on those women that would be interested in you, rather than sulking about the women that aren’t (because how dare they not be. Don’t they know you’re entitled to a chance with them? /s).

I "dont have a list of preferences" I dont remember stating I did. Perhaps you can tell me ? Im also not a secret "incel". I once did return a library book back three days late.

Thankfully for you all I stopped trying to date ten years ago and I see little point in bothering now. I wish 8ft Jack Reacher who just happens to be a multi millionaire all the luck in the world in his pursuits of Jackie who work on the till at Asda ans never misses Coronation Street.

Yet your attitude is stereotypical incel!