Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

Some do some don’t. Like all things, women aren’t a monolith. Stop trying to understand women en mass as though we are all cardboard cut outs of each other just with different looks. We have different beliefs, values, types and interests because we are humans.

@Uravinalaugh my DP is 5’9 on a good day and is the hottest thing on two legs. Thinking about it, all my best sex has been with men under 5’9 or so - I have a theory that the testosterone is more concentrated 😁

Of course there are some women who wouldn’t date a man under 6ft, just like
there are some men who wouldn’t date a woman over a size 16. That’s fine, because he’s not looking to date those people - they’ve already ruled themselves out as not being compatible. The only offputting thing about a shorter man or a larger man or whatever is if they’re bitter and self-conscious and weird about it and use online incel speak (just as it would be dull to be around a woman who constantly talked negatively about her size and how unfair it was that some people wouldn’t date her and talked
about how horrible all men were for not fancying her). Confidence and charisma - and being a pleasant, fun, emotionally aware person - go a very long way.

No I mean open your mind and understand that there is more to it and maybe educate yourself on sexual attraction, for some it's not simply a case of choosing to rule out certain men, they are simply only attracted to certain men.

You are persisting in this idea that it's a choice and that this can be changed by being open-minded. It's not true.

OK, the point I was trying to make, which is clearly lost on you, is that humans are generally complex beings capable of forming a deep, meaningful connection on an intellectual, emotional and spiritual level, which can feed into sexual attraction as much as purely physical characteristics. That doesn’t go for everyone, of course!

It wasn't lost on me, you just grouped everyone in together. For some it really is just a preference and not a requirement, and for others it's different.

OK, you’ll stick with really tall blokes, I get it. Lucky them 😀

They are lucky, thanks 😛

And people can forge those connections with someone they’re also initially physically attracted to, which is preferable to committing to someone they aren’t attracted to in the vague hope that maybe, one day, they will be.

It is entirely normal for both men and women rule each other out romantically for ‘arbitrary’ reasons. It’s overwhelming women that are bleated at for ‘being shallow’, however. It’s tedious.

And unfortunately girls get this stuff from when they're teenagers, boys thinking they should be given a chance just because they want one, whether the girl wants to or not, the "nice guys".

And it carries on into womanhood, god forbid a girl or woman wants a say in who she allows to touch her.

And we see on here quite often when women gave a guy a chance even though she wasn't attracted to him, the relationship might be fine for a while but later on the lack of attraction becomes more apparent and harder to fake, then she's the bad guy again for wasting his time and should 'set him free' so he can find someone who's attracted to him 🙄

I only don’t like short men when they are insecure about it.

5'7" for a man is fairly short. I'm 5'10" and most men are around my height

Oh for goodness sake, I didn’t say you have to sleep with someone you’re not attracted to! I simply pointed out that the possibility of forming an attraction isn’t normally purely based on exactly how tall someone is. Clearly height is singularly important to you - fine. That doesn’t mean I can’t think you’re shallow, and I take that stance whether you’re male or female - it makes zero difference to me.

Im 5ft my partner is 6ft but he is tall compared to most men in our country. I think when it comes to dating height is relational. Like others have said if your a shorter girl most guys are taller anyway.

I think it's an online thing because if you look around, plenty of average height men are partnered up.

I'm 5' 6" and have dated men from 5'5" to 6' 4".

I'd say that 5' 10" is the perfect height for me; any taller and things just dont align well and any shorter and I feel big in comparison.

I think personality is more important though.

I wouldn’t date a man shorter (or a lot taller) than me. I’m 5 ft 6ins so someone 5ft 8ins and above, up to 6ft would be ideal!

I prefer shorter guys usually, if I had to give a number I’d say 5’8-5’10 would be ideal for me

This,

I'm not 6ft but I'm a fraction shy of 5'10 and have had boyfriends in the past who didn't like me to wear heels , wouldn't have photos taken standing up together, I don't care how tall someone is but a lot of men do not like a woman to be taller than them (they are often the same ones who don't like a woman to be the higher earner), I got pretty sick of it. DH is 6'4 it wasn't a conscious thing tbh, we've known each other since we were children but I know he's always had taller than average girlfriends, his family are all tall and now so is DS. My family are all shorter than average I'm taller than both my dad and brother. Both of them married quite short women my mum is 5ft and my SIL 5ft 2. I think it's less common to see relationships with large height gaps , eg my DH at 6'4 dating a 5ft woman might look a bit odd

And I think you're shallow, there's no depth to your thinking. You've just formed a conclusion based off surface level assumptions and decided others are shallow' because you don't understand it.

I of course understand that for some sexual attraction can grow based off of other things but for me personally I have never in my life felt sexual attraction towards a man who wasn't tall.

People aren't superior or nicer people just because of how they experience attraction.

You can if it makes you feel better. I’m not, though.

Well you clearly are or you wouldn't make snap judgements about other people without bothering to think more deeply about it.

Tell him to get off the internet and into the real world a bit more. It’s so untrue, you don’t see hoards of single men below 5’10”, he’s just being silly. It’s one of those “jokey” stereotypes that really people don’t care about.

Oh the irony!! I’ll leave it here; I can see from other threads that you like to have the last word, and I’m sure you will. I have better things to do with the rest of my Sunday evening now, with my shorter than average, but hot AF DP 😜

There's no irony, you're just mixing up judgement with sexual attraction. They are not in any way the same, maybe you could spend some time educating yourself.

And Im of course sure that many people are deeply attracted to their shorter than average partners, I don't slate shorter men, I'm just not attracted to them, again very different things.

But men of 6ft aren't in 'such a minority' particularly at 19, which you say your brother is. There is not a desperate shortage of 6 footers, so they are not limiting themselves. It's a bit like men wanting a size 10 girlfriend - there are plenty of women this size. It's not a unicorn search.

My youngest son is 6ft 1" and most of his friends are at least that height. They are early 20s. People are getting taller and 6ft is not considered particularly tall nowadays, whereas 5ft 7" is pretty short for a man.

A quick Google tells me that the average height now in the UK for a 19 year old is 5ft 10".

True. It’s like a test to determine a woman’s virtue:

”Would you shag Gollum? Sure he’s 3ft 11, has two and half teeth left in his mouth clinging on for dear life, and one eye looking around the corner while the other looks straight ahead, but he’s a lovely person and passion can really grow”.

Yeah, I will continue to paddle happily in shallow waters.