Do women really rule out average height men, or is it online talk?

[Uravinalaugh]

My younger step brother who is 19 [I am male btw], told me that women only want to date much taller men, he's roughly the same height as me, 5'7 [5'9 in thicker soled trainers lol], and is very introvert and hasn't had any dating experience, he has a few friends and I have noticed girls in the past being nice to him/liking him when I have seen him socializing. I was aware of this height bias which shows up quite a lot online and on social media, even here on mumsnet I have seen dating related threads where many women appear to be very dismissive of dating shorter men [used to nose sometimes using my OHs old account ,she didn't mind ahaha]

Because of this, I have been noticing often when I am out in public the heights of men to see if this is true, and it very clearly isn't. Last weekend I went to a well known seaside town for the day, due to the weather it was packed so millions of people and I would say literally the amount of couples of all ages where the man was average/slightly shorter than average height was the majority, it very clearly isn't the case that most women are not attracted to men below 6ft, 5ft10 or whatever. I myself have also never had a huge issue dating in the past, I never even knew I was particularly short until seeing this height related stuff online, and where women are concerned my height has never been mentioned

Was curious if this is only me that's noticed this, I think it could be more of a gen z thing than millenial and above? I'm not sure, but it definitely doesn't seem to match up with what I have seen with my own eyes in real life, have tried to reassure step bro that his height is fine, I think his parents have too, but don't seem to be able to convince him

You might think they would have done well in normal life, but the reality is that being 5'7" means the odds weren't quite as much in his favour as they would have been if he'd been 6'2". I don't make the rules, sadly.

And while it's lovely that we've all met shorter men with fantastic personalities (my husband and some of his friends), I sometimes wonder whether developing that personality was helped along by years of hearing, "You're quite short, aren't you?"

shorter men can and do have successful lives, but the evidence suggests they face a few extra hurdles along the way. That's not me being mean, it's me wishing the world was a bit less shallow!

I also think ideas around masculinity have changed. Also worth remembering that most women on MN aren't the same age as the people currently in the thick of the dating market with young men. The dating world has changed enormously, especially since apps arrived and started letting people filter humans like they're ordering a takeaway.

A short guy entering any room faces immeadiate bias, be that conscious or not; my nephew had a supply teacher (a few years ago) who in year 11, thought my nephew was a younger year taking the piss and made him sit outside the class

height is surely relative. Most people want to date someone who is relative close to your own height so half a foot? You can’t help who you fall in love with but surely If you are 5ft I am sure you would, as a preference, prefer to be with a man about 5ft 7 rather than 6ft 3? I know I like the fact I am only half a foot shorter than my husband so he doesn’t tower over me.

Not necessarily. One of my sons is 20, extraordinarily tall and it's fascinating watching young women (of all heights) react to him when we're out and about, he is VERY popular. Shop assistants, waitresses etc practically purring at him, groups of women nudging each other and stopping to gape as he walks by. Admittedly he's also athletic and handsome (if I do say so myself) but being freakishly tall seems to have been nothing but positive for him. He's at least a foot taller than his GF.

Funnily enough my nephew on my sisters size is v tall and older women always comment on his height, it used to drive me mad as it’s not really an attribute you can do anything about like, education, kindness, empathy etc - it’s just something you get - but it’s definitely a thing that tallness is impressive for most x

I'm 5ft 1, so tall to me is anyone over around 5ft 5! My ex was 5ft 8, my DP is 6ft. Height had nothing to do with why I went out with either of them. I've fancied blokes not much taller than me.

My sons are 5ft 7- 5ft 10. So not extremely tall, but they don't think they are short. I have no idea if anyone has ever told them they're short. 2 of them have partners, so their height hasn't hindered them in that respect.

I like to be with a man who is the same height as me - 5'7". Another inch is manageable, and an inch or so shorter would be ok. Now I think of it, the same goes for women.

Thats interesting. I guess anyone who is very very significantly above average height will get attention purely due to the fact they stand out so much, that combined with the fact he’s handsome as you say obviously means it will have a big effect on girls his age, who tend to notice looks more at that age anyway. Out of interest are your other sons tall, and how do they deal with that, growing up I often noticed one sibling getting more attention from the opposite sex during teenage years quite often resulted in a bit of enviousness, not always but quite often

Well it depends, some would prefer a foot height gap or even more.
Some like the man towering over them. I would love this but I'm almost 5'8 myself.

It is probably his good looks and body shape
I have got to admit that I am not attracted to men who are too tall
Also some tall men make being tall their whole personality which is off putting

Nobody likes ‘freakishly tall’. It’s probably the fact he’s handsome.

6’0 is lovely. The proportions go a bit ‘off’ if they get much taller than that.

I’m a fairly tall female (5ft 8 inch). Height really doesn’t matter. Personality and intelligence has always been number one in my book.

I'm 5'7" and wouldn't date a guy shorter than 6ft.

Sorry if that's harsh but some men won't date a woman who is overweight or has short hair or children...whatever. Personal preference.

I used to. I wouldn't consider anyone under 5 11

I had a word with myself eventually and now I don't look for height first

No my other son is well over 6'. People aren't gawping at him in the street like they do with his brother but he has never been short of interest.

I used to prioritise height but it all went out the window when i met DP. I'm 5ft7/8 and he's 5ft7 on a good day. I now think id find a massive man hulking around the place offputting 🤣

I wouldn’t date anyone under 6ft, maybe 5’11 but that’s because I’m 5’8 myself, if I was much shorter then it wouldn’t bother me dating someone a bit shorter themselves. I can’t help my preference I like tall larger men.

I wouldn’t say 5ft 7 is average height for a man, that’s on the shorter side imo. I am 5ft 9 and prefer someone taller than me so I don’t feel like an unfeminine giant! My husband is 6ft and if I’m honest I wouldn’t really want to be with someone shorter than that. If I was shorter it wouldn’t matter.

That’s not short at all ?

I’m 5’2 so 5’8 would be fine for me!

I’m married - DH is 5’10 - but my single friends bemoan men who only swipe right on younger, very attractive profiles. My Nan used to say that a man never thinks he’s too ugly or too old - I’ve realised how true this is as I’ve got older!

I’m baffled by the number of posters saying they would only consider dating a man at least 6ft tall, ruling out about 4/5ths of the male population! How superficial! Human beings are amazing - we’ve created science, medicine, art, music, sport, architecture, film, fine dining, put people on the moon, split the atom… Height is surely one of the least interesting or important things about a person. It just seems bizarre to say you’d automatically rule out someone amazing who could turn out to be your soulmate because they happen to be 5’11 or less. (Or a bit too thin, or a bit too fat, or have the wrong colour hair/eyes, or too many freckles?) I genuinely don’t get it. Try opening your mind. There is (or should be!) so much more to life and love!

Yeah that's average.

When my friends and I were OLD our preference was that the chaps be taller than we were. That did not mean 6ft+ (apart from my 5'11'' friend.) One friend married someone a few inches shorter. Everyone has their own preferences.

Why don't you open your mind?
I can't speak for all women but personally I am only sexually attracted to tall men, it's nothing to do with my mind and it's not a choice.

Erm, because I’m not the one saying I’m only capable of being attracted to someone who meets the narrowest of some arbitrary physical criteria?! In case that wasn’t obvious from my original post!