(TW SA) New support thread …

[PinkPoetAgain1]

Another thread full, still learning that things are not normal as I thought they were .

www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5522581-tw-sa-new-therapist-new-thread

thank you everyone for being so patient and supportive ❤️

🤷‍♀️ Absolutely no idea!

How can I get past the notion that this time will be different if I just give him another chance?

I really, really don't mean to be trite here but - see if he sexually assaults you again? You've basically stated that your current position is that you are willing to stay with him for now because you believe that he now understands that the rapes are harming you and therefore he will stop. He really would be a monster if he assaulted you again, wouldn't he?

So, try it. You're glad he now understands the impact of his behaviour. You are immensely relieved that this means he will stop. He will stop now, right? Because to continue raping a woman whom he can see is being terribly impacted by the repeated assaults would really make him irredeemable, wouldn't it?

I think it simply means telling herself "I will tell him not do to XYZ. He will 'get it' and it won't happen again" or words to that effect. She's expecting him to have a Damascene conversion.

I can kind of get it although my situation was very different. I first had myself convinced that esDH would quit drinking if I just 'found the right words'. When that didn't happen I convinced myself that I could put up with it and carve out 'a life of my own'. When the first of those didn't happen and the second one couldn't happen because he wouldn't allow it I up and left. As I posted earlier in response to @PinkPoetAgain1 's post, it took a lightning strike of knowledge and an advance plan.

@PinkPoetAgain1 could you explain a little more about what the good times look like for you? How long do they last? What do they consist of for you?

And also, what does you fighting for your relationship look like? What would that mean in terms of what action you think you could take and how is it different from what you are doing now?