Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

Seconding the diaphragm. Mostly forgotten about these days, it's non-hormonal, highly effective (with the gel) and convenient. Also very easy once you've practised positioning it a few times.

OP says her partner wants to use condoms as he is more concerned about pregnancy than she is. It is she who does not want to use condoms.

Would it be worth taking ovulation tests to see if they do show up positive at all at any point in the month still? Then it would only be that particular week of the month if there is a pattern that you’d need to avoid or use the pull out method?

You could be the statistic you don't want to be.

My friend is a midwife so probably has more than your average stories about these things. The one that stands out to me is 52 year old naturally conceived first baby.

Actually what about the one where they had three and then became pregnant with triplets?!

My mum's friend thought it was the menopause...nope it was a baby.

My obgyn didn't want to remove my IUD at 50 because I was still having intermittent periods. It is still a risk so I don't blame him for not wanting to take it.

Unless you've not had a period for an entire calendar year, you need to use contraception unless you want a surprise baby. Yes, given your age, the odds of you getting pregnant are not high, however, if you're having unprotected sex and still ovulating, then a baby can still be conceived.

OP, it's not rocket science.

Well this blew up 😂
it’s made for interesting reading
I’ll be discussing it with him next time we meet and possibly see about trying condoms
So some of you can get even more outraged at me, I would abort without hesitation. And yes I’ve done it before so I can do it again. Off you go

You're seeing someone casually, someone you've only met recently, and you're not using protection?

I think I'd worry about a lot more than the odd unwanted pregnancy! (You'd almost certainly miscarry, BTW, but why would you want to put yourself through that or an abortion?)

For heavens' sake grow up and use a fucking condom!

The issue for me is that it isnt actually that rare for a woman pre menopause to get pregnant, what IS rare is a naturally occurring pregnancy carrying to term and the baby being healthy.

So the risk of dealing with a miscarriage, termination or still birth would be having me on some form of contraception.

Put the onus on him? Vasectomy if he (and you) doesn't want an unexpected surprise.

I think I'm a bit late to this but I second the mirena coil. Can also act as one half of your hrt if you add oestrogen by another method. The added bonus for me has been no more periods while using this method.

@hitandmist terminations are not a form of contraception. I had one once and I would never want to again. It’s not something I took lightly. Look up the complications in termination for your self.

Guidelines are to use contraception until 56 I believe - you can have a surge in fertility like a last hoorah..

You need to protect yourself from stds - imagine having herpes for the rest of your life! Yuk!

Never heard of a woman who can feel a difference tbh.

Pulling out interrupts too - just make it part of the act

I dealt with a woman, in a professional capacity , who had 1 child at 50 and another a, year later. Before anyone says it was her daughter who gave birth and she covered up for her, no that didn't happen. Trust me.
He needs to use condoms or you need to get a diaphragm, don't leave it to chance.

Then why are you posting? You have the answer. It’s rare, but possible, but you’d rather risk it than use condoms.

Either he agrees and you continue to have low-risk-of-pregnancy-sex, or you stop having sex.

no one was going to be able to come on here and tell you it can’t happen.

OP could try the female condom? i tested some when working for a PR firm who was marketing them. They felt better to me than a male condom, and better for DH too. problem was they squeaked but it was a while ago now so they might have improved. Also, we had to be careful how we placed the penis as it was easy to slip between female condom and skin.

Anyway i am 53 and still have the occasional period. I am still most definitely using the pill and about a year ago had to get the morning after pill on advice of GP when we got a bit complacent.

In my friendhsip group I have a friend who thought she was infertile and she got pregnant naturally at 54. She went to term but it was a high risk pregnancy and her gorgeous son does have a whole range of health and developmental issues.

The part that I don't get is: if I get pregnant, I'll abort, done it before, so could do it again.
Seems so blasé. Why put yourself through that? Abortion is so extreme compared to birth control, ie the pill, condoms w spermicide etc.
🤷‍♀️

That woman in her 50s who had 2 pregnancies/2 babies go to full term would have used IVF. (If it wasn't her daughter's child(ren.) No woman is having 2 babies in her 50s, naturally....

If it makes any difference; nearly 50yrs ago in my early 20’s I met some1 slightly older than me, whose Mum had been 50 when she gave birth to them!
So it was possible all those yrs ago, therefore not impossible now?
This person was perfectly normal insofar as anyone is ‘normal’ 🤭(edited to add this)

OK, but statistically, in the situation you describe, you are more likely to get an STI than get pregnant. So it’s difficult for posters to understand your logic.

No she didn't. I can't tell you how I know, but I do.

Hi OP. I am in the same age bracket. I would not worry unduly it would be very unlikely to happen. Condoms in your fifties are not always a great option. It takes a bit longer for things to rise so you do not want a short delay before jumping on the magic carpet so to speak. So long as you are both confident around sexual health I would carry on and enjoy it.