Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

Use contraceptives if you don’t want pregnancy.i am 50 and on the mini pill.i wouldn’t dare go without.

Someone I know had never wanted children and was very happy when her periods got fewer and fewer then finally stopped when she was 49. After a few months she was worried about her abdomen swelling right up and went to the doctor. She was several months pregnant.

The pull out method is NOT contraception. If there is any chance at all that you may still ovulate then you need to use proper contraception. That’s all there is to it.

Non hormonal coil.

That can also fail though sometimes.

I personally wouldn’t sleep with someone casually without barrier contraception and STD tests. I actually wouldn’t sleep with anyone regularly without STD tests, but that’s not what you asked!

OP, you could use a diaphragm and spermicide to put your partner's mind at rest. You can insert it well before sex, so no breaking of the flow. You have to leave it in for a few hours after sex, so don't forget to take it out, or you can get an infection!

The chance is thought to be around 1%

If someone told you that you had a 1 in 100 chance of winning the lottery, you'd buy a ticket wouldn't you? You'd think that good enough odds to play.

@Holtome · Yesterday 15:45

Almost all of those stories (of women having multiple babies after 50) are where a woman took on a young relative's child.

100% this. ^ I am gobsmacked that so many people believe their great great gran, or great great aunt had 2 babies at 51 and 53, and their DH's great aunt had twins at 52, and their grandparents neighbour had her son at 54 (in the 1940s.) And all the other wild anectodes people keep coming out with.

As you say, the vast majority of these cases were an older female family member taking on a younger family member's baby. It happened LOADS. The naivety on here - from some- is breathtaking... 'oh, no my great great aunt DEFINITELY gave birth to her 2 sons (when she was 52, and 54.) Not being funny, but there's no way you can know this. You're just going on what you've been told.

@StinkyWizzleteets · Today 19:15

My friends neighbour got pregnant naturally at 57 or 58 after a ONS last year, she terminated. It is possible. She’d tell everyone she met about it at the time so it is possible, incredibly rare but not unheard of.

No, no woman is getting pregnant 'naturally,' at 58. She can tell as many people as she likes that this happened, it didn't happen. Not a natural conception at 58. I'm surprised anyone believed her!

.

I can’t believe people are suggesting he has a vasectomy when they’ve only been together 5 minutes. If this doesn’t last, who’s to say he won’t meet a younger partner in the future who does want a baby.

This. ^ No-one is suggesting the OP gets sterilised funnily enough.

I have a friend who had her two DC at 49 and 52 years of age (both times through IVF) so it's definitely possible to get pregnant and carry to full term. If your periods are winding down it might be difficult to track ovulation so condoms probably easier for a year or so.

I think most men just like to think that they produce the super-sperm that could impregnate a woman just by being in a lift with them, so the idea that the chances of you getting pregnant after sex with him being less than 1% just won't compute.

I hate to suggest dishonesty in a relationship but could you just tell him that you can no longer get pregnant and then deal with any pregnancy that happens, unlikely though that is? I don't think anyone should take abortion lightly, but it doesn't seem like something you would be averse to if you were in that position.

When assessing risk, you look at both
A) the likelihood of the event
and
B) the impact

AxB is your risk.

So while we know that, for you OP, A is very small, how about B?

If getting pg would be an utter disaster, you'd be daft not to use contraception.

If it's more like 'meh, it's not ideal but I'd cope' then maybe you don't need to.

Only you know the answer.

Can you imagine the blasting a man would get on here, if he suggested to another bloke he just tell his partner he 'isn't capable of getting her pregnant' and then you 'just deal with it if it happens? '

ie lie to your partner just to get your own way?

Horrible, reprehensible advice.

What is your reluctance on using condoms? We’ve never found them an issue as long as they’re by the bed.

You should be using condoms so you dont catch anything

I think in this specific scenario a woman deciding to take the risk of getting pregnant, and a man deciding to take the risk of getting a woman pregnant, do merit some distinction, but I take your point. Honesty is always the best policy.

Wow OP the risks you are prepared to take blow my mind...

Unwanted STDs...
Unwanted babies...
Reassuring a man pregnancy can't happen with the woman he's having sex with, when it can...

You are living in lalaland. No wonder he doesn't trust you. I certainly wouldn't.

Unlikely but still a chance so wear protection unless you want a baby. What about STD?

And you sound really desperate to keep having sex with him. It's kind of gross the way you're prepared to take so many many risks with your sexual health. Where is your self-esteem, self-worth? How well do you actually know him?

100% agree. ^ With all of that post.

Why is it 'gross' and 'desperate' for a woman to be keen on sex? Is there some ageism here?

I take your point if she was just doing anything possible so that he wouldn't leave her, but that doesn't sound at all like what its being described - she likes sex and she doesn't like condoms.

Anyone taking that level of risk with a new partner doesn't have high self-esteem or self-worth IMHO. They're risking their health to keep the person. He might want to use condoms for the very reason we're talking about: STDs. But he's too polite to say it. He doesn't want to catch anything of OP because it doesn't sound like she has a history of using protection.

Non hormonal coil?

A baby at 50 is exhausting, so I'd caution against it......But then, if that's what you want, be aware it can definitely happen!