Chances of getting pregnant at 50

[hitandmist]

I didn’t really know where to put this thread so I may post in a couple of topics
I am 50 and perimenopausal. I still have periods although they’ve become very irregular since starting HRT 6 months ago.
I have been seeing someone casually for a couple of months. We don’t use protection. We probably have sex 4 times a month. We did discuss protection at the start and I decided I was happy to go without.
He’s now saying he’s worried about me getting pregnant. I really think this is unlikely although not impossible. I really don’t want to start using condoms. I don’t want to use other forms of birth control as they completely mess me up.
What would you do in this situation?

Unlikely but not impossible - I have known a 47 year and 49 year old to fall pregnant naturally and go to term.

We all know pregnancy at advanced age can happen, just like we could win the lottery or get struck by a meteor. To learn anything useful though, we have to focus on what the chances are. OP, does your boyfriend understand statistics and probability much? It sounds like you do but it's not clear about him. How about the two of you find proper data and discuss it? Standard blurb is LESS THAN 1% per cycle, with the majority of those pregnancies ending in miscarriage.

Withdrawal is most common form of contraception in the world. It works well for about 90% of men, but for about 10% it's unreliable as they leak sperm into pre-ejaculate. So if your man has successfully used withdrawal as main method of contraception for many years, the odds of him being in that 10% are low. If he's not relied on it before then you're working on 10% risk of him being leaky, moderated by what your personal risk is. So
Aside: I'm surprised how many women say "just use condoms" as I always hated the feel of them. Used them in new relationships but was happy to move on from them later. We all make our own personal risk assessments and OP can make her own choices; she's not a naive teenager.

Not sure where I’ve been rude…
I’m irritated this thread developed into a ted talk about stis
I’m irritated people have made all sorts of assumptions about me and the guy regarding past history
I’ve had 1 termination in my late twenties. I don’t see it as a form of contraception 🙄
I have taken on board the measured responses regarding the question I asked
I’ve said I’ll be discussing it with him next time we’re together and probably try condoms as I’d like us to carry on seeing each other

Yes I had an unexpected pregnancy at 48 and gave birth at 49 even though I used birth control (just didn't once!). So not worth the risk if you don't want a baby (I didn't but eventually saw it as a blessing).

Perhaps he’s seen the recent press reporting about the rise of STIs in the over 50 age group and it made him want to take precautions; him framing it as a concern re pregnancy might not be wholly true.

You have no business trying to persuade a concerned man not to use contraception.

He is right to be worried.

It's v rare but it happens.

she definitely gave birth to him ! A lot of her grandkids had babies well into their 40’s as did I ! my cousin had her last at 48 no IVF . My grandmother got married late in life for those days at 36 had her first at 37 my dad her eight child shy of 51 . It does happen !

No they're not.

With no reliable contraception, and no right to say no, women were having babies right up until menpopause. My great grandmother was one of them. She was enormous as she had twins and there were no way that it was my grandmothers baby as she was married and pregnant at the same time.

Condoms. Got pregnant first try at 41, so didn’t want to take any risks.

If your menstruation is irregular, no way of calculating when you’ve likely ovulated (though there are signs) and how would you know you’re pregnant until potentially quite late on? Not worth the risk IMHO.

Hopefully won’t be long before you’re post menopausal (i.e. haven’t menstruated for a year). Average age is 51-52. Is truly wonderful when you no longer have to worry about pregnancy risks.

Thank you, my mistake. I am just so accustomed to women disregarding themselves to worship at the foot of Mt Ballsack. 😠

what about the female condom thing....think its called a cap...fits over the cervix i think but im not totally sure...hopefully someone will be along shortly to clarify......

I have a close friend who's sister got pregnant at 50 after a one night stand.

It isn't massively likely but not impossible either. Possibly you could get pregnant and then miscarry which would be horrible. Honestly you should be using protection due to the STD risk as older people are experiencing an explosion in std rates. I've also read that older women in their 40's typically are a growing cohort of those seeking terminations because they didn't think they could still get pregnant due to relentless messaging around declining fertility. Its true its unlikely but not impossible if you are still menstruating.

One of the school mums got pregnant at 50 after a holiday romance. This was about 20 years ago mind.
They luckily got on and he moved here to be together. They still refer to the child as “our sangria surprise”.

so not a reliable method then

No but given that information, neither are condoms!

Condoms rely on people (men usually) doing it properly, putting it on at the right time, not losing any pre ejaculate etc at a time when their sexual desire and instinct is to .... keep bangin'! Is it any wonder mistakes are made?

OP has already said.

@hitandmist I’m 49 and don’t use contraceptives, but then I have elevated prolactin so my chances of pregnancy are low without counting peri menopause. Just do what’s feels right for you

I think alot of hugs and kisses helps.

About as reliable as condoms, which everyone touts as being good contraception. In addition, contraceptive pills have a <1% failure rate with perfect-use, but a 7-9% failure rate in reality - so fairly high too.

In the end, if you want to use reversible, non-invasive contraception that doesn't alter your hormones, you have very few options, and the withdrawal method is actually as reliable as condoms despite people scoffing at it.

(Personally, as I said, I've used it for well over a decade with no issues despite easily conceiving two children prior. It's a perfectly reasonable contraceptive method as long as one is responsible and careful with it.)

Hello STDs....

FFS you're a grown woman why would you fuck about with your sexual health like that??

Pregnancy is the least of your worries.

Not sure if this helps you or not, I’m 55 and have been seeing a woman also 55 for almost 6 months now ( she is post menopause), both had our STI rests ( all clear )
we have had unprotected sex the entire time and no problems or pregnancies, I did suggest condoms but she didn’t like the idea of them,
if he is a paranoid maybe you should get some and present as a fate accompli and then continue to have good worryfree sex

I am 50 and still have periods (unfortunately), I know statistically the chances are low for pregnancy but I don’t want to risk it so we do the pull out method. Of course it’s not fool proof, we’ve used this method successfully for 20 years after our last child, but it’s certainly better than not doing it.

How about a cap? That way you aren’t taking any hormonal birth control