Haven't heard from him after a date

[Tcbay52]

Been on a date recently, we went to a restaurant. He paid and opened the doors for me. He asked me before the date if I'd prefer a hug as a greeting, just a handshake, or no touch at all as he wanted me to feel comfortable. We went for quite a long walk afterwards. We hugged for hello and goodbye. After we parted he texted me saying to let him know when I'm home. I let him know. The next day I decided to text him. I said I had a good time and added a question about whether he logged me out of a job search website (he let me use his laptop to edit my resume as a small favour), as I forgot to log out. He reacted with a heart emoji to the 'good time' bit and said he logged me out. Since then we've been silent for like four days already. He's been active on social media. Should I message him again or leave it? I wanna see him again but don't know if he wants to.

@Tcbay52 I don’t think he can be sure you’re interested from what you’ve said, so I’d send a text asking if he’d like to see you again.

This.

100%

Not a chance I would contact him in this scenario.

Crushing. He’s read over OP’s CV and marked it as a no.

Agree with the leave it replies. He's had a chance to continue a conversation and hasn't taken it up. Presuming he actually saw your CV, he's even had the opportunity to ask about a previous job in a genuinely nosy/flirtatiously cheeky way and he hasn't. So he's not curious enough.

When someone heart reacts to my message it’s them saying “I acknowledge your response but this exchange is finished”. You closed it off, not him and I think it’s up to you to reengage if you want to.

I’m sorry op but the responses on this thread are making me laugh .
the cv things is super odd.
bringing a laptop on a date is super odd.
calling other women chicks is super odd unless you’re time travelling from the 1970s.
are you both very young, or students?
He had a chance to respond asking for another date but didn't.

Bring optimistic, and giving him the benefit of the doubt, I wonder if youth/ inexperience is the reason neither of you have done very well with the texting ?
if so, the court is open for either of you to make the next move.
From experience though, i don’t think he is bothered, but you could ask and find out, just to close that door if nothing else.

The problem for the man in question may be that the OP was updating her CV on a first date.
If I were him, that would have struck me as bizarre at best.

Men don't always make it clear they are interested. There are plenty of men who lack confidence just like women do. What have you got to lose from sending a text asking if he wants to meet again?

Exactly. Couldn’t it wait until the next day when she could go to a library? Or borrow a friend’s laptop? If I were him I might be worried she’s then going to hit me up for money lending. You don’t do the CV stuff until at least 5th/6th date. Handle your own shit.

Also, how much time was spent on the cv?

When I’m applying for jobs it takes me hours , updating cv to tailor it to each specific role , ensuring that everything flows, grammar, spelling, dates still add up etc.
working on someone else’s laptop quite likely means logging into own email and maybe the relevant job site, potential formatting issues editing on different devices , presumably in a public setting with guest WiFi.
add to this first date nerves and knowing that someone you’ve never met is waiting for you to finish up, it would feel fraught for me, I’d probably mess it up unless I really took my time on it.

He texted you last to say he’d logged you out. It’s your turn to messages now.

Messaging back with a heart is what everyone does isn't it when they are terminating the conversation . . .

As someone who is renowned for not adding anything to a text not even an x for my nearest and dearest even I would have taken the heart as an "I'm not really interested"

I find it really strange that you went on a date with a bloke you don’t know, used his laptop for your cv and then you weren’t sure if you had logged out or not! Bloody hell op

There's little point worrying about these kind of What Ifs....and tbh if any if those things were turned out to be true.... you would still be absolutely fine! It's a potential second date, not a wedding!

Do you always look for the potential problems/ negatives? Quit being so passive, if you would like to see him, suggest another date. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

You say he paid for the date - did you offer to pay at least for your half? If not, perhaps he doesn’t want to ask you out again as he expects it will be on him to pay again. Why not message him and ask if he fancies a meet as you’d like to buy him a drink to say thank you for letting you use the laptop? Then see how the spark is if he says yes. After that, the ball would be in his court to ask you out.

Unless of course you’re trying to avoid paying and that’s why you want him to ask you?

Not everything has to be about pretending men and women are exactly the same, we're not, and that doesn't mean we're not equal.

At the end of the day, we're animals, and in the animal kingdom its the males who chase and try to charm/impress females, its ridiculous to pretend we're designed to be any different.

Not everything has to be about pretending men and women are exactly the same, we're not, and that doesn't mean we're not equal.

Of course it does. You can't be equal without being the same. If we're not the same then we're highly unlikely to be equal and which sex is best depends purely on circumstances.

If men are better at 'approaching' then in situations where 'approaching' is useful then clearly Men would be superior. And that scales up to other things. If you can think of anything women are better at anything then in situations/places/times where that thing is less useful then women are less useful. ...and vice versa.

Of course it does. You can't be equal without being the same

What an utterly bizarre take. Do you apply this to your friends and family? Anyone who can do things you cant, is superior to you?

But ok, one example? Creating human life.

OK, so in a world where only one gender can creative human and creating human life is very important then the people who create human life are better. The sexes are not equal.

And yes, my family are not all equal. Depending on the situation they are not equally useful. I love them all equally but I am pretty certain they aren't all equally useful to society. If they were the same they would be.

Sex, not gender.

Do you think you're superior to blind people? That blind people arent equal?

Yes, I meant sex not gender, no idea where gender came from, that's irrelevant.

And yes, unfortunately, on average, sighted people can do everything blind people can do plus they can do things that require sight. So not equal. 😢

I have so many questions, but I don't want to derail any further.

No, I don’t think that’s true. I believe there is still more of an expectation of men pushing things forward at the start and it’s not about “mind games. Both parties make an effort - of course, if the women don’t make an effort too there would be no dates since it takes two. But the effort is shown differently.

That might not be everyone’s view but that’s been my experience and clearly many on this thread think the same too. Personally I don’t know any woman who has asked a guy out on the apps for a (first) date. Not saying it doesn’t happen at all, I’m sure it does but I don’t think as many women on apps are asking the men out for the first couple of dates, as the other way around.

That aside , you are also kind of missing a major point which is that OP HAS been proactive in texting to say she had a great time. The issue is his only reaction was to heart the message, as pp have said that’s pretty much shutting down the chat in this context.

So no one has said OP/women should make no effort. OP HAS indeed made an effort.

And as I’ve said upthread in this particular situation the reverse would apply . If I wanted a second date I certainly would reply to a man who texted to say he had a great time. And if I didn’t reply and just liked the message instead, I would totally understand if he assumed I wasn’t interested and didn’t ask me out for a second date!

Exactly. Neither OP or her dad did anything wrong and it doesn’t sound as if he hated her or anything, but clearly he doesn’t see a future and isn’t keen for whatever reason.

It looks like he has politely exited the situation with that heart.