Haven't heard from him after a date

[Tcbay52]

Been on a date recently, we went to a restaurant. He paid and opened the doors for me. He asked me before the date if I'd prefer a hug as a greeting, just a handshake, or no touch at all as he wanted me to feel comfortable. We went for quite a long walk afterwards. We hugged for hello and goodbye. After we parted he texted me saying to let him know when I'm home. I let him know. The next day I decided to text him. I said I had a good time and added a question about whether he logged me out of a job search website (he let me use his laptop to edit my resume as a small favour), as I forgot to log out. He reacted with a heart emoji to the 'good time' bit and said he logged me out. Since then we've been silent for like four days already. He's been active on social media. Should I message him again or leave it? I wanna see him again but don't know if he wants to.

I think this is a good point. We notice things happening more than we notice things not happening.

Leave it. If he wants to see you again he will message.

I don’t think he’s that into you, sorry.

Its probably nothing personal.

If you want to text him then there’s no shame in it, he could be trying to play it cool but usually someone replies that they had a good time too.

If anyone was following the thread last week asking the mums of 25-35yo men where all their sons were…I noticed a fair few said that their sons were single because they weren’t great at asking women out.

Would I ask a guy in my social circle or work circle out? No, because I’d have to face him again. But a guy who I would literally never see again if he said “no”? Absolutely.

You already texted him twice and neither time did he suggest meeting again. These threads always end the same way, op encouraged to text again and the guy replies with a gentle i'm not interested. Literally every single time. If they are keen , you will be left in no doubt

And neither did op suggest meeting again. Maybe he thought she was just being polite. Maybe he isn’t interested. But she won’t know for sure unless she asks outright.

If you imagine that this could potentially change your life in the sense that you could potentially meet again, get into a relationship and be together until you both die, then you have no business being this passive. You would not be like this when deciding to apply for a job, move house or have children would you?

Do you want to meet him again? Ask him for a drink.

If you don’t want to meet him again, do nothing or text something saying that.

But to see who texted last, who sent heart emojis, to analyse what was said exactly - don’t do that.

Maybe he’s having this exact conversation with someone, he’s saying ‘well she only texted this’ and he’s not going to do anything more because you only texted one love heart, not two. Or maybe he thought you were the most revolting woman on the planet.

The only thing you have to have in your mind is whether you want to see him again or not. That is it.

The only thing that I’d caution you to give it more thought than this is if you are work colleagues or friends but it doesn’t sound like these things apply to you.

Oh, really? That's what you think? If I were in his place, I might be worried that she expects me to be putting up shelves for the next date...

He did - he replied saying he logged you out.

Message him if you’re interested. Don’t play silly games

This is a no brainier op.. Just send a text saying, Would you like to go on a second date, it’ll be a yes or no and you can stop guessing.

OP showed she was interested by messaging him in the first place .
She said she enjoyed date , he replied with a ❤️ emoji, he didn’t look to converse though .
She asked him a question, did he log her out , he was polite & answered her question, still didn’t strike up a conversation with her at the same time , which indicates he had no interest in chatting.
It’s coming across to me he’s not interested .

So, why are you not responding to the many suggestions that you simply ask him out on another date?? It really is that straightforward.

As if you updated your cv on a date. 😂🙈

just message him op!

Were you not worried he'd have access to too much of your info for a first date?

This was my first thought too!
Especially as she hasn’t logged out!

I am a bit paranoid though so thought it was just me 😂

But on the whole women post on Mumsnet to hear from other women. They might look elsewhere if they especially wanted to hear from men.

I'm worried he may agree just out of boredom while not being interested. Or after the second date he still won't be making any moves and I'll be the only one initiating. Or he just won't respond.

Well okay, better not to message him ever again.

Just sit there in a puddle of ‘what if’.

If I went on a date with a bloke and he was thinking all these thoughts it would put me off. You will never see him again, unless you do something.

Jeez. So you're worried about all the above if you text but will worry and wonder 'what if' if you don't. Just text then you'll know.
If he says yes you should get a feel if he's interested by what he follows that up with.

You are massively overthinking things. Just ask him out if you like him.

Imo if a man is interested and wants to see you again, he will make sure he sets up a next date (as long as you agree of course)

If you set up the next date, that is fine. But don't set up the third. Leave that to him

You got an emoji when you messaged him to say you enjoyed date .
You asked him a question, he answered & he left it at that , didn’t try to converse .
I wouldn’t contact him if I were in your shoes & I’m also single looking to date the right person.

You'll learn with OLD that if men want to see you again, they'll ask. He may try and breadcrumb you whilst he keeps looking. He's not that interested in you, OP. Move on.

Who could be bothered with these silly little situations? It’s all goes shit shaped in the end anyway so best not to bother In The first place plus men are disgusting on the whole and one day you will shudder thinking of all the nasty little habits they have

well thats just silly