Friend posted a harsh message in group chat after my apology

[70Cats]

Group of friends (6) for 10 years. One is ultra sensitive borderline professional victim. I thought I’d upset her recently so before the others arrived I apologised. She replied very angrily, so I explained that I was shocked at the incident and apologised again. She was very aggressive so I explained that she also upset people. She stopped when the others arrived.

We sat for two hours chatting and laughing.

When I got home there was the most awful post on our group chat saying how I ‘launched a passive aggressive attack under the guise of an apology and could not put up with such unkindness so would leave our group but would welcome seeing people for coffee’.
Shocked, ripped to pieces, sick I was devastated. On a group chat for my friends to read. How could someone do that.
I feel so strongly about this I am thinking of seeing a solicitor to sue her.
Please talk me down.
.

I’ve just seen on another post this op commented it’s been over 40 years since she escaped a past relationship. That suggests to me she must be at least 56, more likely older. I genuinely thought this was going to be really young poster.

How does a thread get to 200 posts when the OP hasn’t been back? 😂

Same !
Seeing as OP hasn’t come back , I’m guessing there’s a lot more to the story 🤷🏻‍♀️

A solicitor? Really? You say your friend is playing the professional victim here 🙈

So firstly what happened for you to feel you had to apologise. Secondly what have others said in or out the chat in response to this?

This is either a switch around or a LOT of details have been left out.

Dont be such a drama queen. You sound as bad as her. Dont waste your money, just accept youre no longer friends.
But what did you do wrong that you felt warranted an apology to her? Sounds like you've done something to upset her so is her behaviour justified perhaps 🤷‍♀️
What do the other friends in the group think?

If you’re thinking of suing her over a post in a group chat I’m sure she has a point about you tbh, that is absolutely insane.

What is a solicitor going to do ? Are you bloody serious. Tell her to fuck off and get on with your life.

So, she's "ultra sensitive borderline professional victim" but you're the one considering seeing a solicitor to sue her over a WhatsApp message. Okaaaaay....

I would imagine the others are well aware of her and her reactions. Hmm, if you say nothing the silence will likely eat her up and she may explode to others thus strengthening your part.

or you can laugh it off and say a little ditty comment. You’ve tried to apologise, she wasn’t ready to hear it - may I enquire if you feel you said it in a sensitive, mature and honest way and not half catty automatic assumed forgiveness ? Or what the crime was?
some people can be very over sensitive and if so probably not the first time this has happened.

OP NEVER RETURNED.

Kind of guessing that OP had too many G&Ts of an afternoon and put up this contender for Week’s Most Dramatic Post, woke up with a hangover and realized she’d actually said she’d consider calling a solicitor over WhatsApp messages, cringed herself inside out over it, and name changed.

If she’s not back after 3 days, she ain’t coming back. I do genuinely hope OP is okay because this post seemed really out of character considering her very-normal posting history prior.

OP done a disappearing act … potentially checked in somewhere?!?!

And she's the professional victim?

Hahahahahaha a solicitor? To sue her for what? Sounds like you are a nightmare

This is all bollocks.

If you’re off to see a solicitor you’re worse than she is.

Haha!

Really?

I think many of you need to be careful. OP will be noting your usernames to include in her class action lawsuit when she speaks to her solicitor 🫢

I haven't RTFT, BUT, here's what I think.....

YOU need to leave the group too, and then you and her message each other shite to your hearts content, leaving the other 4 members of the group to continue their 10 plus year friendship with a modicum of sanity and sanctuary, safe from the fuckwittery of the both of you.

Let them enjoy an actual adult friendship without petty drama and bullshit.

Grow the fuck up love. A solicitor?! Really???!

Sue her 😅 for what?? Sorry but you'll get laughed out of the solicitors office.

Clearly an attention seeking post, OP hasn't answered any of the reasonable questions asked here including what was the catalyst for all of this. The fact you mentioned suing her was the nail in the coffin for me.

You may be playing into her hands.
I suggest you withdraw and just wait for people to claim you. Or just leave her to it and reach out to people saying that all might not be as she claims. If they know you both they can make their own minds up about you and her: it might be that they want to keep you both as friends.

No point in suing.

@70Cats Kindly, OP, this.

Are you both similar? Are you projecting?

IF she is as you describe, then the others will understand anyway… and may even be relieved and glad they weren’t the ones taking the bullet! 🤷‍♀️

sue for what exactly? i think a solicitor will either laugh you out the door, or think you are easy money!

what did you do before hand to upset the person?

Well it’s difficult for us to judge without knowing what you did to annoy/hurt her and what the apology was like. You might have done or said something really bad, and made one of those passive aggressive non apologies eg ‘I’m sorry if you felt hurt’. It wasn’t really an apology if was followed by ‘sorry but here’s all the things you did’. Those things might have been true, but if you are going to apologise do it properly and leave the ball in her court to apologise for her part.
Clearly the discussion was unfinished when others arrived and she’s felt the need to finish it in the group chat. It would have been better for her to do it privately though.
Your reaction is a bit over the top.
Do you want to stay friends? If not then just leave it now. If so, perhaps contact her directly and apologise properly for the original slight.

What did you do? If you can't give the whole story, there's definitely a reason why she reacted like this.