Friend posted a harsh message in group chat after my apology

[70Cats]

Group of friends (6) for 10 years. One is ultra sensitive borderline professional victim. I thought I’d upset her recently so before the others arrived I apologised. She replied very angrily, so I explained that I was shocked at the incident and apologised again. She was very aggressive so I explained that she also upset people. She stopped when the others arrived.

We sat for two hours chatting and laughing.

When I got home there was the most awful post on our group chat saying how I ‘launched a passive aggressive attack under the guise of an apology and could not put up with such unkindness so would leave our group but would welcome seeing people for coffee’.
Shocked, ripped to pieces, sick I was devastated. On a group chat for my friends to read. How could someone do that.
I feel so strongly about this I am thinking of seeing a solicitor to sue her.
Please talk me down.
.

People are all different

It really does sound like there’s two sides to this. Perhaps she felt ambushed when you apologised when nobody else was there and then told her she had upset people. It is passive aggressive to apologise if you don’t mean it and perhaps she feels like you did it so that you could have a go at her.

If a friend had been ‘very aggressive’ with me and then another friend arrived I wouldn’t just have spent two hours with them laughing. When the third person arrived I wouldn’t just pretended nothing had occurred.

I think a lot of the ‘who is right’ depends on what happened before this meet up. What was said that needed an apology and what communication had passed between you before the second meeting. It doesn’t sound like ther is any coming back from this. I think the other friends will just end up on one side or another.

Thanks for that incredible piece of insight.

The idea that this might actually be real is wild.

This is the most useful advice the OP will receive in this thread.

A solicitor?!?!

This

I would keep my distance from this person. If she influences the rest of the group to exclude you, then they're not real friends. But I guess the others know equally well how agressive she can be. Try and talk to your other friends i dividually, take your lead from there.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this must be a joke surely? Thanks for the laugh, OP. If not, then you’re just as dramatic as she is. She sounds awful so just stop communicating with her, see your friends separately and move on with your life

If this was me I would be grateful that Sue left the group and think no more about it.

Solicitor! Your over reaction is as bad as her’s.

I think people are been harsh, if you care about what people think and if your character is now put in question it must be a horrible feeling especially if they are good friends or people that you now can’t really avoi, that’s a nasty tension to live with . I hope you are ok. I would probably just message in the group and say something like - I didn’t mean to upset you that wasn’t my intention, I feel I have to address it as you have put it in this group I would be more and happy to talk privately, I am very upset too

Tell her to fuck off via group chat wish the others luck having coffee with her and get in with your life ,,,a solicitor 🫣 get a grip it's not that deep

Wow. Sue her? You have to be a left wing voter right? Way to sensitive if that is your first stop.

Don’t be soft

It sounds like you need to learn how to genuinely apologise.
'I'm sorry but you are a complete cow and everyone thinks so' isn't an apology it's an insult wrapped up as an apology.

Get a grip, you cant sue her. Once you ard composed, write to the other members of the group to explain what happened in a calm and rational manner what happened. Do not ask them to take sides but give this woman a wide birth.

Blimey. Your group of friends sound hard work. Are you the problem though?

No update or more context OP?

Don't waste your money on a solicitor. Just remain silent , those who know and love you will not react.
Maybe she wants you to react...so don't satisfy her and go in peace and let her go too.

I’m somewhat confused, this is half a story with what’s probably the most interesting bit missing? Impossible to give an opinion without the rest of the story…..

One simple txt back would suffice , " I'm sorry you feel like that " you have then given her behaviour back to her and kept your dignity

Absolutely hysterical over here! The fact you’ve called her “professional victim” and then said YOU were “shocked ripped to pieces sick devastated” and now want to SUE her!!! You sound mental -I’m team her.

A solicitor 😂 😂

There's some irony here, no?