Should I mention my height before meeting someone from a dating app? [Male/30s]

[Whitsta90]

I have been talking online to a few months to a woman on a dating app, its a non conventional/niche dating app where you don't need to specify your height. We seem to be getting on very well, and have a few things in common, however she bought up in conversation that she is very small in height, 5'1, "im tiny" in her words. This is no problem for me, I quite like it in fact, however, I'm 5'7, she hasn't asked my height so far [Conversation wasn't about height]. This is something that I wouldn't have thought much of a few years ago, however I recently came across a few threads on here relating to height preferences which seems quite a popular topic here, and it seems from seeing comments that a huge number of very short height women are not attracted to shorter height men, even if they are still several inches taller than them [as in my case], and very openly state this and how they love there partners/husbands huge height differences.

I'm not stupid and know that there are women who don't have issues with height, but looking here it seems these are far more often average to taller height women, and in the majority of cases women who are the height of who I have been chatting with are very adamant about only dating men who are 6''+. I just wondered whether its a good idea to tell her my height, as I don't want to reach the point of meeting for a date and her being disappointed when she sees my height, as I have heard of happening numerous times, which would be a big shame as we have been getting on very well online so far. Also, are there any women in this height range who have no issues with dating men of shorter height, or have partners/husbands who aren't tall? This might make me feel a bit more confident about the situation if so

I don't think talking about men's height is a popular topic on here. You have just found a few threads among thousands.

I wouldn’t.
but for me, height was never and issue, never talked about.
my DH is on the shorter side. I didn’t really care and I am very lucky because he is a good man.

the right person honestly won’t care

Firstly, how come you guys still haven’t met for a coffee ?, few months is a long time & still not arranged to meet , do you not think so ?
Have you not exchanged pictures? I mean where she can kinda judge your height ?
Anyway, just tell her 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think if she hasn't asked in so long it probably isn't that important to her. My husband is 5ft 7 and I am 5ft 9. I don't think it's a big deal personally. I met him online through a hobby and the connection was the best I've had with anyone ever. I did feel slightly self conscious being taller for a few dates but mainly because I'm a tall girl. His height was fairly inconsequential to who he was, I would have hated for him to think he needed to pre-warn me like it was something wrong with him. With this height difference I'm sure you will feel tall to her anyway! :)

I'm 5 ft and 5ft 7 in seems quite tall to me 🙂. If it bothers her then she's very shallow and probably not the one . I don't think it's necessary to mention it .

My personal preference is taller men. At least 6ft. But there are lots of women who don't feel this way. Your height is fine . It would perhaps be an issue for a woman taller than you as some don't like to be taller than their date. So don't dwell on it and good luck with your dating !

You don’t need to mention it but if she asks tell the truth.

A lot of the threads about a man’s height have been because he’s lied not his actual height

A few months is a long time to still just be chatting over messages, you’re best off cracking on with meeting in person j think, so you can see the chemistry, or lack of, you have together. Otherwise you’ll both have invested a lot of time and emotional energy into something which maybe wasn’t to be!
Anywho, the height thing. Who knows? Some women like tall men, some don’t care, some specifically prefer shorter men, who’s to say what she’ll like? I wouldn’t bring it up or it’ll look like you’re insecure about it or that it should be an issue. Just meet her and see what happens.
FWIW I’m 5’8 and wouldn’t actively choose someone shorter than me, but height was one of the least interesting things about men when I was dating. One of my exes was 5’8 and another was 6’6 (my husband is somewhere in between!) so I’d not get hung up on thinking women care deeply about height differences.

Do not tell her your height fgs. That's just weird. If she has a problem with 5'7", then you're simply incompatible, move on.

Btw women might have preferences but most will readily put them aside if the bloke treats them like a human being and they like him. I've had serious relationships with short men 5'5" and tall men 6'3" (I'm 5'7"), thin and chubby, long ringlets and bald... it doesn't matter, what counts is who they are inside.

Treat her like a human you want to get to know.

I think if she's not asked then she's not bothered. Just don't lie about your height is my advice. Personally I'd prefer to be shorter one in the relationship (but that's not a challenge!)

There's definitely a few height obsessives online, and the typical MN husband seems to be 6'2" and it's in their pre-nup that they must mention it every third post. (I'm starting to become suspicious there a lot of posters married to the same man 🤣)

No don't mention it. Personally I wouldn't want to go with a.man thats shorter than me but I think its ok. I think your height difference is fine.

I saw a kid yesterday in primary school (local uniform) and (s)he was at least 6 foot. I'm 5'7 and they were head and shoulders above me.

I'd say something like that while chit chatting by text if I was anxious about it.

Oh that’s made me feel sad. My lovely son who’s about 5,7 said to me the other day girls only want to go out with tall men! I was really shocked that this was a thing. So now I’ve been observing and it’s clearly not the case that every man who’s with a woman is 6 feet plus so where has this nonsense come from? Just meet up and if that’s all that’s important to her forget her.
you sound very nice in your post and that’s what’s important

When you say niche dating site, is the niche thing particularly about looks or build etc?

Simple answer is - it's bothering you, so tell her. And sort out a date!

If she is 5 ft 1, then you being 5 ft 7 will be fine! It's not even that short really. 5 ft 9 to 5 ft 10 is the average height for men these days. (Despite every 3rd poster claiming their husband is 6 ft 4 and their sons are 6 ft 3 to 6 ft 6!) 😆

My DH is 5 ft 9 and I am 5 ft 3 and a half. 5 ft 9 was fine for me!

!

If she's not asked about height, she has no preference. I wouldn't think to ask about height to be honest. No need to mention it.

My DH is six or seven inches taller than me. Any more and I'd get a terrible crick in my neck looking up at him. Your respective heights are absolutely fine OP. Stop overthinking and go and have a date! 😊

@Missj25 We both suffer from anxiety so are taking things very slowly, hence why we haven't met yet, one of my pictures is a full length one of me standing up although the very bottom is cropped out a bit, so not really possible to judge my exact height, I might drop it into our next conversation and see what happens

honesty don't worry if she is 5ft 1 and your 5 7 you would still be taller than her even if she wore heels. so don't think its a issue

I don't see the need to put it in a profile, but it might be in your own interests to mention it before meeting if you're investing a lot of time getting to know someone online - after all, if they're shallow enough to discount you based on that, it's better to know in advance than to have an uncomfortable date enduring them looking disappointed.

I found tallness attractive in men, and as it happens my husband is 6'1. But I did date some shorter men - ultimately I wasn't shallow enough for a single physical feature to override the attraction of someone's character and personality. But if a potential date really is that shallow, they aren't worth wasting your time on.

@SleepingStandingUp By niche I mean its an app for people who are Neurodivergent which centres itself around connection, things in common etc. However physical attraction initially plays some part with most people regardless which is why I was worrying about the height aspect

Honestly, don’t overthink it. You’ve got nothing to worry about.
Objectively you’re both actually great heights for each other imo.
Good luck with the relationship 💐

The amount of answers on here-

Well, height is important to to me and my partner is 6.3" but to most people it doesnt matter so dont worry

Absolute idiots

For me, I wouldn't count 5'7 as particularly note worthy. It's not tall but not very short either - definitely taller than the majority of women. I've dated men from 5'7 to 6'4 and found them all attractive people.

So she told you how tiny she was? Do you think she wanted you to respond with your height?

I’d just tell her; it’s not a big deal.