Should I mention my height before meeting someone from a dating app? [Male/30s]

[Whitsta90]

I have been talking online to a few months to a woman on a dating app, its a non conventional/niche dating app where you don't need to specify your height. We seem to be getting on very well, and have a few things in common, however she bought up in conversation that she is very small in height, 5'1, "im tiny" in her words. This is no problem for me, I quite like it in fact, however, I'm 5'7, she hasn't asked my height so far [Conversation wasn't about height]. This is something that I wouldn't have thought much of a few years ago, however I recently came across a few threads on here relating to height preferences which seems quite a popular topic here, and it seems from seeing comments that a huge number of very short height women are not attracted to shorter height men, even if they are still several inches taller than them [as in my case], and very openly state this and how they love there partners/husbands huge height differences.

I'm not stupid and know that there are women who don't have issues with height, but looking here it seems these are far more often average to taller height women, and in the majority of cases women who are the height of who I have been chatting with are very adamant about only dating men who are 6''+. I just wondered whether its a good idea to tell her my height, as I don't want to reach the point of meeting for a date and her being disappointed when she sees my height, as I have heard of happening numerous times, which would be a big shame as we have been getting on very well online so far. Also, are there any women in this height range who have no issues with dating men of shorter height, or have partners/husbands who aren't tall? This might make me feel a bit more confident about the situation if so

Yes, mention your height on the dating app (for future matches). Height really does matter to some women, including me - we simply can’t help it. I know that I don’t need a tall man to protect us from attacking bears (as men of any height can go shopping in the supermarket), but chemistry works in mysterious ways. It’s just the way it is.

I'm 5'1", DH is 5'7", I think it's perfect. (We've been married for over 40 years anyway!)

Best of luck OP, hope things work out for you.

My DH is the same height as me - about 5ft 6in. He has a huge number of very attractive features and ticked a great many boxes. I’ve been on MN for years and have seen very little discussion of men’s height.

DH was one inch shorter than me, the only time it occurred to me was when the wedding photographer suggested he stood on a step behind me for a head shot.

im quite sure she’s not worried.

I’d just mention it. If it’s an issue personally I think each to their own but she is being a bit silly considering she’s still half a foot shorter than you. So you’ll have dodged a bullet.

I dated a guy who was my height- maybe an inch bigger with his thick soled trainers lol.

I was a bit disgusted with him though because he stated his height as 5ft 7 on the app and he even went out of his way to make a joke that he would send me more pictures before we met so I knew he “wasn’t 5ft 2 and 200 pounds”.

It wasn’t very clear what his height and weight were from the pictures but when I met him I kid you not he was 5ft 2 (my height) and looked about 200 pounds. He gets a full health exam every year and I’m sure they would tell him those things so he must’ve known his weight and height!

His height and weight wasn’t the issue it was the lying.

I dated another guy at 5ft 2 and he was lovely and I found him so attractive.

I am heightist and a 6 inch difference is more than enough. Go in asking if she’s what you’re looking for not if you’re what she’s looking for. You already know you’re a good catch

I did end up marrying a tall man at over 6ft but my previous BF who was lovely was 5ft 6, I’m 5ft 4 and it didn’t bother me.

What is the app OP?

You're taller than her, tbh that's probably what matters to most females

I definitely think you need to get over the anxiety and arrange a coffee / lunch with the option to go to the pictures.

Pictures is always good for a early date - you're together but you don't need to keep the conversation going all night.

I can't even work out how you are keeping the conversation going on line.

@Gabitule I might do that for future matches in case things do fall through. Yes, you can't help what your attracted too and thats fine, may I ask, how tall are you? I just wondered because as I mentioned in my thread, from what I have seen it seems to be shorter height women who graduate towards taller men [hence my concern about my personal situation] even though evidently from this thread there are some shorter height women who don't mind either

@Grapes308 Its called Hiki

If she wanted to know she would ask. Also it can sometimes be pretty easy to approximate from photos so if you have any group photos on the app or full body photos she may well know you’re not a six footer.

@Whitsta90 no one here is the woman you’re talking to. The only way to find out what she likes is to tell her your height or ask for her preferences.

Women are all individuals and have very different preferences.

I don’t think that’s true, different people just like what they like! I’m 5 foot 9 and I like taller men, but my last boyfriend was 5 foot 11 and that was fine, I fancied him still. It’s about the person not the height!

If it was a deal-breaker for her she'd have asked early on. good luck!

6'+ isn't that common and not something most women would be that specific about, I'm sure!

Most men in my family (dad, uncles, cousins) are around 5'7" - 5'8" and it hasn't stopped them attracting lovely partners/wives - ranging from very petite to quite a bit taller than them.

I think you're hyper focusing on your height, which is not unusually short, and really not something most women would be bothered about. I just hope you aren't being influenced by any manosphere crap that's perpetuating this myth that women are shallow gold diggers and only interested in a certain physical type.

Women, like men, have a wide range of preferences, and are attracted to the whole person, not just one specific physical feature.

I do think however that you've wasted a lot of time talking to this woman online. Once you've chatted a bit and established that you have shared interests and seem to get on, then it's time to meet - as you can't really tell if there's a spark until you do.

Good luck!

Tell your son to change his thinking and concentrate on his other characteristics. My son is 5ft7, he never had a problem getting girlfriends and his wife is the same height as him, so with shoes she can be a bit taller.

I assumed he'd be about 5'10, the height of his father, I'm 5'5 so not short and no one else is short in the family.

When he was in sixth form and hadn't grown for a couple of years he decided that if he couldn't be tall he'd be very strong, so started going to the gym and doing various other types of exercise. He's a charming, funny, confident, caring man who is highly intelligent, ambitious and very successful in his career, presumably those aspects outweighed his lack of height when it came to attraction.

If she told you her height, why didn't you just tell her yours then and there? It would've just been part of the conversation, natural, flowing. Waiting to be asked is odd and now probably more of a big thing in your head than in reality.

Because he is neurodivergent as he said and therefore might struggle with the back and forth conversation that neurotypical people find easy

My mum was 5'1 & dad 5'7. Zero issues.

I'm 5'3. I have mostly dated people who are 5'11+, but I have zero height preference, it's just happened to be that the people I've vibed with have been taller. I kind of think it's a waste, since I don't care and apparently some people do.

Two of my best male mates are 5'4 & 5'6 - and again, height has nothing to do with it, they're just incredible people I get on with amazingly well, but we don't have chemistry. But they have great partners who do have chemistry with them. One is 5'6 and the other 5'7. And a female best friend is 4'11 and her husband is 5'1", so also no issues there.

Im 5"7 and think im taller than average amongst my age group (especially at school back in the 90s)

OP 5'1 and 5'7 isnt something id worry about. If you were the smaller male id maybe reconsider

My husband and I are much the same height. I would think you had a chip about being short if you told me your height which personally I think isn’t very attractive. The actual height is inconsequential though I appreciate there are some women who seem to have some sort of fetish about tall men.

Forget your height - it can't be changed nor does it need to be. You are you. There are many 6'2" males in prison or sat alone in old age with adult children and ex-wives uninterested in visiting them, so it is neither a measure of success or function.

The slow build up looks attractive as rejection is tough, but it's not real, and it's just putting off the chance of rejection to later.

Do a video call and suggest that you meet up for a walking date or coffee. Relationships are much better in person than through a screen.

I'm 5ft6 and my husband is about 5ft8, 5ft9 on a good day! 😉 Its never been an issue. I don't wear heels very often at all, maybe a pair of wedges in the summer. But I use a wheelchair and a mobility scooter now... so that doesn't matter either! When I was dating (both using apps and not!) back in the 2000s I thought I preferred tall men as they made ME feel smaller and more feminine. I think that was a me issue though. I actually dated a range of different height/build guys! At uni it was usually a rugby dude ;) big, tall, chunky, was my type! After uni, when I was on apps, it was literally a range of first dates/coffee dates, with guys of different height and builds. But the last three 'serious' relationships before hubby, one was a rugby player/member of the drama club at uni. He was 6ft5 or so. He was a biiiig guy. As in quite overweight actually. But it didnt worry him, and it didnt bother me in the slightest. He was incredibly good looking. And his personality just made him even more so! Unfortunately a LDR didnt work for us.
I then dated on and off for a couple of years. Just one or two dates before Id end things. I travelled a lot, and enjoyed flirting a lot, but wasn't interested in notches on my bedpost and if people tried to push me into that they'd get the door slammed in their face! I spent a good 5 ish years just being me. And that was great!
Next serious relationship was with a guy was shorter than me, maybe 5ft4, and really wiry/slender but muscled. He had short man syndrome though! Was waaaay too worried about his own height, when it wasn't something I gave any thought to at the time. I met him online, and he had defo said he was 5ft8. He was definitely not! Lol. He was nice enough. But ghosted me the day before valentine's day... then sent me an email 6 weeks later asking for his Battlestar Galactica DVDs back!! 😂😂

The last serious relationship before hubbie, was 6ft2 or thereabouts, also fairly slender... and 20 years older than me. So I really don't think I have a 'type'. Lol. I worked with him. He may or may not have been my boss 🫣😂😂 So when he started acting like a fool and wanting to sneak around. He got dumped! Via email!! Lol

Then I met hubbie. My sister worked with him and dragged him to my 26th birthday party with a gaggle of her friends (she was NOT interested in him, don't worry!). Then we became friends/semi dated for a year or so. Then suddenly we were together, he practically moved in with me, we got engaged, we got pregnant, and we got married... within 18 months! AND I wore kitten heels to our wedding. So I wasn't taller than him in photos. But that was my choice. He didnt care what shoes I was wearing, and probably couldn't even tell you then or now! Lol. He's just not bothered by things like that, which is one of the reasons I love him, and married him ... ❤️ We've been married 15 years now. Daughter is 14 (15 in October!) and I love him more every day. He's a wonderful husband and father. I mean he can also be a total t&&t some days, but so can I! Lol.

So yeah, TL;DR I don't think I have a type. I don't think many women do! I think the less you worry about it the better though. And just let your personality shine! Cos that really truly is what draws us in, and keeps us around! And what puts us off ;) we might think we want the tall knight in shiny armour, with perfect hair and a gleaming smile... but honestly, we want the dude that'll still be making us laugh at 85. Master that, and you'll be God's Gift to most women. And they will neither notice nor care how tall you are! ❤️❤️❤️

I’m 5ft 3 and quite like short men! Easier to hug 🤗