Should I mention my height before meeting someone from a dating app? [Male/30s]

[Whitsta90]

I have been talking online to a few months to a woman on a dating app, its a non conventional/niche dating app where you don't need to specify your height. We seem to be getting on very well, and have a few things in common, however she bought up in conversation that she is very small in height, 5'1, "im tiny" in her words. This is no problem for me, I quite like it in fact, however, I'm 5'7, she hasn't asked my height so far [Conversation wasn't about height]. This is something that I wouldn't have thought much of a few years ago, however I recently came across a few threads on here relating to height preferences which seems quite a popular topic here, and it seems from seeing comments that a huge number of very short height women are not attracted to shorter height men, even if they are still several inches taller than them [as in my case], and very openly state this and how they love there partners/husbands huge height differences.

I'm not stupid and know that there are women who don't have issues with height, but looking here it seems these are far more often average to taller height women, and in the majority of cases women who are the height of who I have been chatting with are very adamant about only dating men who are 6''+. I just wondered whether its a good idea to tell her my height, as I don't want to reach the point of meeting for a date and her being disappointed when she sees my height, as I have heard of happening numerous times, which would be a big shame as we have been getting on very well online so far. Also, are there any women in this height range who have no issues with dating men of shorter height, or have partners/husbands who aren't tall? This might make me feel a bit more confident about the situation if so

I'm 5'1 and 5'7 is tall to me!
I think that if your date was bothered about height, then she would have asked you yours when she mentioned her own.
All the best for your date!

Why haven't you met yet? The longer you leave it the more you build a fake picture up in your head. Then you meet and that picture bursts and then you miss the contact.

Stop woolgathering, sort out a coffee or something.

You’d be surprised.

Some people love huge height differences. I watched a YouTube dating show recently and the 6ft 5 man said a 5ft 8 girl was too tall!! He ended up picking a girl who looked about 5ft 5.

I’ve also seen plenty of women at 5ft 1 demand a 6ft plus man on these dating shows too. I mean I take what people say on tv and social media with a pinch of salt, but I have met women in real life who say similar.

I still feel just how many women care about height and of what significance it is to them is exaggerated by red pill podcasters who deliberately push resentment against women and breed insecurity in men.

But OTOH I wouldn’t deny it is a big thing to some women.

I've never liked tall men much. I don't understand why it would be a preference! My husband is 5'8", I'm 5'3".

You really like asking this question: https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5225376-are-there-are-any-very-short-women-in-happy-relationships-with-short-men

100%

I think when someone tells you something about themselves they're inviting you to share the same information?? Is that not true? Although I'm autistic and apparently that is an issue neurotypicals have with us, that we share things about ourself that relate to what they're sharing. So maybe I'm wrong.

Anyway, when she said her height and that she's short I'd have replied "oh same, I'm 5 7 so we'll be tiny together" kinda thing. (5 7 is short for a man, I'm not being a dick)

I do think, considering it's a particular type of dating site she's probably less bothered than your typical person on a standard dating site. But I do think it's something that does affect attraction and probably save you some effort sharing it early on.

generally women like quiet confidence so i probably wouldn’t let on that you’re insecure about this.

imo even if she has a preference it doesn’t mean it’s the thing she cares about the most. my DH is 5 ft 6 and so am I, it’s never bothered me. so many other things are far more important.

No I don’t think that’s something that needs to be brought up - you’re an average height!

I did once go on a Tinder date with a guy who was 5’2” and to be totally honest it did impact my attraction to him. He spent a lot of the date complaining about previous dates who hadn’t liked his height - it was a terrible all round experience. I did mention that if he knew it was an issue to some people then why not just put his height in his profile, that way he wouldn’t end up on dates with people who weren’t interested in him from the outset. It didn’t go down well.

I'm five foot nine and I do prefer it if a guy is at least my height unless he's a lot chunkier than me. In your situation where the woman is significantly shorter than you I don't see an issue but then I'm not her. You should probably just mention it before you meet if you're worried.

I think if it was a big deal for her she would have brought it up and asked you your height when she told you hers.

I think you're over thinking on this. Loads of women don't care about a big height difference and loads of women will date men who are shorter than them. What matters is connection and how well you get on so I wouldn't start looking for issues until you meet and see how it goes.

You're plenty tall! Just get together in person. I'm 4 foot 11 and DP is your height.

Dating men shorter than me has obviously never been a thing, I doubt there are many. But I have dated a few guys who were 5 foot 2 or thereabouts. One was extremely dashing and popular with the ladies, he didn't allow his height to limit him or become an issue.

I met DH on a dating site . I thought I liked tall
men as I like to feel petite as a taller curvy girl.
DH fibbed about his height ( ticked 5-10-6-2) . When I met him and saw he was 5 9 I was initially shocked at the lie but then I liked him very much and realised 5 9 was the perfect height, 2.5 inches taller for kissing .

I think you’ll be fine. Just meet her and let her see who you are. Personality is eqaully / more important than looks

Stop focusing on the future. Put your efforts into getting to know this woman first.

Your height is fine.
But is there any chemistry? Only one way to find out ... you two need to meet up.

I like men who are taller than me. Not hard as I'm short! I've always dated people much taller than me bit I don't think it would be a deal breaker.

If you are self conscious, just tell her.

Height is an issue for her (she mentioned hers) so if I were you I would mention yours. She’s probably wondering.

You only learned that many women have a height preference on MN? At 5’7 I very much doubt that. Hope this thread gave you whatever you were after though…

I think she has mentioned her height it’s possibly because relational height is important to her so it wouldn’t hurt to ask her about height requirements. She might say she doesn’t care at all and just mentioned her own height in case it’s something you care about.

I am a tall-ish woman who doesn’t care about height so never thought to mention it but went on a few tinder dates where men my height and even taller made it clear that they wouldn’t date someone as tall as 5ft10. So I’m the end I added it to my bio even though I personally don’t care.

I am small at around 5’2”
If she is 5’1” ( she may actually be only 5 foot tall as height measurement is never totally accurate) then you’re already a full 6 inches taller than her .
In my opinion that’s a nice height difference .
I am older and I’m married but have been on dates with different men , different heights from about 5’7” to 6’2” .
Genuine , kind , generous ( but not OTT generous ) reasonably nice looking and a sense of humour ( but not LOL funny 🙄) is what mattered to me

I'm 5ft 2 and have always preferred tall men (6ft plus). However, I married a 5ft 9 man, so love won over height!!

I would casually mention your height but if she likes you enough, it shouldn't matter. Some women aren't bothered by height at all. You're 5ft 7, and as she's petite, then you're still taller than her!

For me, height is really important. I’m 5’9 and I wouldn’t date a shorter man (thankfully my Dh is 6’5, so on top of being lovely, he definitely ticked the box). But if she hasn’t asked and you’ve met specifically on a site where height isn’t mentioned, then no, I wouldn’t make a thing of it. If it mattered to her like it does to me, she definitely would have brought it up.

Maybe you should have it on your bio.
Weed out those people who have a minimum height requirement so you dont waste your time.

Im 5ft2 and my husband is about 5 8. He's plenty tall enough.

I dont think most women really care that much about height tbh. But if its something you are sensitive about then you will be very aware of any comments and it may feel a bigger deal than it is.

This height 'only date over 6ft men' personal choice, fair enough, but they can be arseholes towards women just as the 5'5" one can.
Personally I find it quire shallow it comes across as if 'I need a tall man to protect me', when so many women bang on about being strong independant women.🙄
I don't give a shit how tall/ short someone is as long as they are a decent person and treat me with love and respect. Hence I've been married nearly 30 to someone 5' 7" and he really is a prince among men.
Hope it works out for you OP.

That’s literally what he said, he’s ‘found a few threads’