Should I mention my height before meeting someone from a dating app? [Male/30s]

[Whitsta90]

I have been talking online to a few months to a woman on a dating app, its a non conventional/niche dating app where you don't need to specify your height. We seem to be getting on very well, and have a few things in common, however she bought up in conversation that she is very small in height, 5'1, "im tiny" in her words. This is no problem for me, I quite like it in fact, however, I'm 5'7, she hasn't asked my height so far [Conversation wasn't about height]. This is something that I wouldn't have thought much of a few years ago, however I recently came across a few threads on here relating to height preferences which seems quite a popular topic here, and it seems from seeing comments that a huge number of very short height women are not attracted to shorter height men, even if they are still several inches taller than them [as in my case], and very openly state this and how they love there partners/husbands huge height differences.

I'm not stupid and know that there are women who don't have issues with height, but looking here it seems these are far more often average to taller height women, and in the majority of cases women who are the height of who I have been chatting with are very adamant about only dating men who are 6''+. I just wondered whether its a good idea to tell her my height, as I don't want to reach the point of meeting for a date and her being disappointed when she sees my height, as I have heard of happening numerous times, which would be a big shame as we have been getting on very well online so far. Also, are there any women in this height range who have no issues with dating men of shorter height, or have partners/husbands who aren't tall? This might make me feel a bit more confident about the situation if so

My lovely (fairly tall) daughter has a partner shorter than her. He has a bit of an issue about his height. But he's lovely and her choice. I will admit at 5'10 and dh 6'3 it took me a while to get used to. DS is at least 6'3.

I suspect the reason she hasn't asked you is because she isn't worried about your own height. Perhaps, she wanted to let you know her own height for her own reasons.

It is true that some women do find a taller man attractive to them (be it a margin of an inch or 6, it's a personal preference). It is relative and on the surface of physical attraction. If this is her attraction then you have ample leeway here at 5"7!

Your only problem is if she prefers shorter men than her. 🙂

I would encourage a date if that is what you both want but your height is not any barrier from what you have written.

Good luck and I hope it goes well.

Sorry didn't manage to quote you in my response above.

I wouldn't even mention it or think about it.
Actually as someone who suffers from anxiety myself, that was a daft thing to say!
I prefer men to be taller than me, but I'm 5'8. That said the last couple of relationships Ive had, my partners have been the same or 5'7 and it never really entered my mind unless we were consciously talking about it.

Get that date over and done with! Neither of you will know either way until you do.
Chatting online is one thing, hopefully you'll carry just as easily in RL.

About 16 years ago I'd been chatting to a guy for a couple of months... I had to tell him that I'd split with ex 6 months previously, but had a 7 month old daughter 🤣
We were together two years, they were happy days.

5'7 is pretty average, I wouldn't consider it short. I'm 5'5 and wouldn't find it a problem. I think internet grifters push the 6 6 6 bullshyt, its just to drive insecurity and groom young men into the manosphere quite frankly. I've not seen many threads about height pref on mumsnet.

I've been on here for 8 years and I've seen it come up reasonably regularly.

Obviously it's just one topic of many, but I just did an AS for 'short men' in the thread titles only, and it came up with very nearly 1,000 threads with just that specific phrase (or very close matches).

Hey, I just saw this exact thread on Reddit.

(You def didn’t see the height posts here…maybe you did but it’s not clear)

@Whitsta90 Well she's obviously aware that her height might be a factor for some, so I am fairly sure she wouldn't judge you for being a bit shorter than average.
It would be weird for you to just blurt out your height randomly though, just mention it next time the topic comes up.

I'm 5ft 1 and my personal preference is tall men. I actually dated mainly 6ft 2+ men when I was single but my husband is 5ft 11 and his height is great to me.

5ft 7 is still quite a lot taller than 5ft 1 - I have a big preference for taller men but even so, if I liked a guy who was 5ft 7" I wouldn't care (it's still tall to women our height), and I don't think it's something you need to pre-warn her about. If she likes you she likes you.

I’m short (5’2”) and I only like tall men (6ft plus). It’s just my personal preference. When I was online dating, shorter men automatically assumed I would be okay with them being shorter, as I was short.

I was talking to a guy for a while and we arranged a date. The night before the date, he casually dropped into conversation that he was 5’7” (or something similar). I was too polite to say I wasn’t attracted to shorter men. I went on the date anyway, trying to keep an open mind, but it just didn’t work for me. (Plus, he was an awful bore who only spoke about himself, but that’s by the by).

Going forward, I said I wouldn’t go on dates with men who were under 6 foot, as it was just wasting their time and mine.

This might make me sound shallow, but it’s just what I’m attracted to. I would tell her.

I think if she's only 5 1, then 5 7 is a perfect match.
I don't think you need to say anything unless she asks.

I actually think it's disingenuous for people to say to OP height doesn't matter because there are threads all the time about how it does, there was a thread the other day where a poster was outraged beyond all measure regarding a woman being taller than her husband.

I'm fairly tall at 5' 9" and my husband is 6' 1" and we have a son and a daughter (20 & 18) who are 5' 6" and 5' 3" respectively.

Which is unusual, but we are from fairly short families and are the outliers, but you'd think we'd committed some kind of crime by having shorter children reading threads on here.

Let's forget about my son's extreme good nature, academic achievements and his sporting triumphs and just focus on his height, which is the least interesting thing about him.

(He has a wonderful girlfriend (who is around his height), I've been out with men shorter then me, and any one of quality will not care about your height, but there are threads on here that will make you paranoid.

I would counsel you to ignore them! Kit Harrington is shorter than me and he is delicious, there's very few women that would say no to Jon Snow!!

Why though? That seems awfully restrictive to me. Especially as you are pretty short. I find that really shallow, I've been out with men shorter and taller than me, height is not a personality trait, or the marker of anything other than the ability to reach the top shelf.

I'm 5ft 4 and was in a relationship with a 5ft 7 man for a long time. It never mattered - he was kind, engaging, sincere, intelligent, handsome and his qualities were far more important than his height.

Because I’m not attracted to short men. Like some people are only attracted to blondes or athletic people etc.

What would be the point of me wasting my time and theirs on something that wouldn’t work as I’m not attracted to them?

I’m now married to someone who is 6ft, so it all worked out in the end!

This is nonsense. Sorry. I'm five foot two and I have never had an issue with dating someone who isn't six foot tall. I have dated tall men but it's not a preference by any means

Fair enough, I just think it awfully short-sighted to be so restrictive, I always went for personality and chemistry over a tick-box of physical attributes and find it strange that people would chose a life-partner based on such criteria.

Well I would assume indicating your height is a requirement on the dating app?

I have tried, I just can’t get over it! It’s just what I find attractive and therefore a non-negotiable for me.

Obviously they would have to have other positive attributes, too, I didn’t just date/marry men because they were six foot. Personality and chemistry was also factored in.

I’m 5’3 and 5’7 would seem very normal to me. You are only a couple of cm’s off the average male height.

My DH is 6’2 and the height difference is annoying, it is nice to be in the same ballpark height wise.

On first reading I thought YOU were 5’1 and I was thinking ‘ah probably should tell her, that’s pretty short for a guy’. 5’7 is completely fine!

I personally love a short king, but height isn't something Im interested in. Neither is weight actually however I don’t want someone who I’d have to care for because their weight is an issue when they’re relatively young. But the look of being fat or skinny doesn’t matter much to me. I have dated men who are morbidly obese and extremely skinny. If I connected with them online I’d always give a date a whirl.
I’ve dated all sorts of men and some were physically gorgeous but their personality was a great steaming pile of shite. I have also dated some unconventional looking men, extremely attractive due to excellent personality.

@Whitsta90

I wish you well in finding love, but I really don't think you should be chatting for a few months before meeting with anyone.

You're building up false expectations and more anxiety when you could have met for a coffee within a week.

I know you say it's due to ND but even NT people who chat too long often end up disappointed!

Now you're asking on a thread posters to give you reassurance when you could just arrange a meet in the time taken to set up these threads.

Rejection isn't nice for anyone, it can happen for all sorts of reasons. They might not be appearance or height related.

You might find she's a catfish herself or you're not attracted to her. Her photos might be old.

You may just not be compatible.

Online text and chatting is very different from talking in person.

For physical attraction, I think many people see the overall package in a date rather than height.

So it will be a combination of dress sense, posture, build, voice.... which you can only see in person.

Unless you or her are working abroad temporarily (in which case delay chatting to arranging a meet when you are back) you should find a convenient coffee shop or bar and schedule in a quick drink.

Also you should be matching and contacting other dating profiles rather than overthinking and over investing in one contact.

See it like a job interview.

You don't take it personally and you try as many as possible until you get one that suits you and who wants you.

My husband is 5’3. Maybe 1 cm taller than me. Not an issue.

if ahe is only 5”1, you are still taller than her but seems you are concerned about it so I would drop itbin conversation somehow …….

Hmmm. DP is 5ft7 and gets plenty of short jokes! I love him to bits tho, even tho i'm taller than him ☺️ and we met on a dating app, so keep the faith OP.