DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Yep. My number one rule.
Number two rule is to ignore all the people who put "still figuring it out" in the relationship goals.

Love this for you. Mr Soughdough is "not my usual type" either, but every date I fancied him more because we just clicked - can't get enough of him now! Give these slow burns the chance because keen and consistent is hot!!

I've had the same experience with Mr. Poet.

Go on Mr Charismatic, final reprieve at the twelfth hour on Sunday! I here you though, this man needs to pick a lane and soon!

I don't mind a boring profile, some men just aren't great at filling them in, I focus more on the red flags in profiles, and give the boring ones a go if they seem not to have any of those... Also same with looking "okay" I didn't find Mr Soughdough attractive until I'd had about three dates with him.

So had another date with Mr Soughdough, an afternoon film and then back to his for dinner. There is still no conversation about exclusivity, and we are on date 10 this week. I've never had to raise it before, the men usually have locked it down quite fast, but he's not. Should I read something into that? I don't want to come across as the needy, one ... I'd rather he did!! FYI I am So needy about this though, really don't want to date him if he's seeing other women still, could he be? Date 10? Just over two months in?

At date 10 I would be asking the question!

Usually yes but I broke my rule with Mr IT as liked the look of him for some reason. He’s the one who ghosted after five dates so I should have stuck to the rule!

Sounds I need a Pub man / Mr Sourdough / Mr Poet in my life. Here’s hoping for Mr Tall and Mr Intellectual!

Me too. Dude, figure it out BEFORE trying to date.

@rubberduck68 he may have assumed. Only one way to find out.

@Polly1979 me too. The only slow burn potential was sadly bigoted.

"Open to seeing where it goes" is a new thing on Bumble since I last used it. That's a definite left

I love it when a guy in his 50s isn't sure if he wants kids 😆

@Polly1979 Pub Man is not tall nor intellectual 😅

Realised he reminds me slightly of my ex husband (in nature, not looks). I'm not going to think too much into that because I've obviously got a type and it was an incredible relationship for the most part.

I'm seeing Mr Millionaire later, not going to chuck that iron away in haste!

Im 60 and shocked at the amount of men my age who have primary school aged kids.

I’ve never had the conversation about being exclusive - I’d just assume we are after 10 dates. Surely that’s a given?

It's be pretty weird to go into trouble of doing STD test to just then sleep around with women who may be seeing other people. So, on that basis, I would assume he considers you two being exclusive. But who knows how male mind works.
I've really not had to ever have this conversation before.

Oh yes, it's the Bumble version of "still figuring it out" on Tinder.
Nowhere...It goes nowhere!!

Once I matched with someone who had "still figuring it out" AND "newly single" in his profile. I mush have been drunk or something.

Another vote in agreement for this. I dont have a "type" but didnt fancy DP the minute I saw him. After having regular chats in the wild suddenly one day I realised I quite liked him, not sure what happened, but the consistency, honesty, sense of humour and shared interests clearly ignited something in me and then that was it ive been mad about him ever since, but it certainly wasnt an instant attraction thing

Forget six foot and clever; my toxic exes were both - often these men think they are the prize. Mr Soughdough is intelligent but not intellectual to the point where I want to fall asleep - importantly he laughs a lot and makes me laugh...

Ahhh where are these men asking you to be their girlfriend?! Where has the romance and chivalry gone?!

We were 2 months, on our 2 month anniversary (anniversary of 1st date) and he wrote me a little poem that asked me to be his girlfriend and sent it via message (he was sat next to me 😂🙈) so cute 😍

If he hasnt made it clear @rubberduck68 then you are within your rights to ask, but im sad you have to :(

I don't know. I thought so, but so many friends saying if he hasn't asked me, then he's not wanting anything serious?

That is just lovely! I am sad too. He said something on Saturday night about "oh how many women is he dating she thinks," or something like that - I was a bit drunk and can't remember the context but I replied about how Hinge and how multi-dating was the norm. The next day I wondered if he was trying to tell me he is, or find out if I am multi-dating? Too much wine... in the sober light of day I can't remember what lead to him making that comment, and I wish I'd handled it more head on.

@rubberduck68 I find exclusivity hard to bring up. I was talking to Scenester on a walk the other week when I just told him I’d deleted all the apps (which I have) and kind of left it open for him to respond, he said he wasn’t looking for anyone else so I take it all is well but the word exclusive was never used 🤷‍♀️

My exh was still the best looking man I've ever seen in my life... Also thick as mince (and a cheater!) 😅 Pub man just has a nice way about him which makes me more attracted to him.

Thick as mince 😅

MrX asked me to go out with him first date and we had a chat about what that meant, which was exclusive.

Some weeks later he asked if it was time to delete the apps, which I'd taken as a given weeks before.

So who knows 🤷‍♀️

Some women do believe that... interestingly, these are the same women who say "actions speak louder than words". I guess, you need to decide which it is for you.

It reminds me of the time I was on a student exchange in Japan. Our friend started seeing a Japanese girl. He planned dates, took her travelling, bought her flowers, took her out on spontaneous cute dates. He was a lovely guy too and was head over heals with this girl. This continued for two months and then she dumped him. Her reason? He did not officially ask her to be his girlfriend and so she didn't believe he had serious intentions towards her. He was Indian and had no idea of the Japanese customs but there was no question he would marry that girl given half a chance.