DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Im dating someone 11yrs older. Couldnt date younger and we are well matched. Age gap doesnt bother me.

I know two retired firefighters. One has struggled massively since he left and is always either drunk or on some substance or another.

The other is a really stand up guy and was awarded an MBE for his services to BAME firefighters.

Awww cute! Love this update.

So I’d decided that if Mr Charismatic left my message to him on Friday lunchtime on read all weekend, he would be getting the heave-ho. However, he did finally reply Sunday morning, apologetic for not replying sooner. He said he’d had a group of friends visiting from out of town for the weekend, they’d all gone to a big music festival that was on here on Saturday and didn’t finish until late. He messaged several more times in the afternoon, then asked me out for dinner this Friday. I have said yes, but I’ll definitely be asking him where his head is on the dating front currently.

Lovely update! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for this one.

Sorry to hear that. So disappointing when you have that glimmer of hope with 3 matches but they lead to nothing. Next!

Mr Sporty has done a disappearing act but Mr Intellectual seems nice so far. He’s about to go away but suggested meeting up when we get back, so we’ll see.

If I were in a relationship and was left on read I’d be annoyed but it’s all a bit more grey and blurry when you aren’t quite in one yet. Definitely good to have a chat about it when you meet and get your head around where this is going and whether it’s something you want to continue on those terms.

@Polly1979 Mr Intellectual sounds promising.

I blocked Mr Eng. I'm not up for sex chat with someone I haven't met, and I tried deflecting it but he kept on keeping on 🙃

Thanks for the replies to my post back up there :)

I'm giving bumble a go again, but it's so dull. There's no one I can muster any interest in. Then I find myself thinking 'He looks okay...ish' when there is really nothing interesting on their profile

I think I'll stay on there, just in case anyone interesting comes up. I just need to not get b into the 'have to match with someone' mindset!

So disappointing when they push for dirty chat when you've made it clear you're not interested in that at this stage. They're either seeing if they can push your boundaries, they're very dim, or they're just getting their kicks regardless of the fact you're not into it! All options are bad!

I don't see the point of this reply
"I had a good time thank you"
On an app, nowhere to go conversationally...are they hoping I'll block them?

Is that following a date? It feels a bit like a placeholder message to me - can't quite be arsed to arrange another date but wants to say something to keep the door slightly open in case he feels like picking it up again.

Or could be a "Thanks but no thanks" but he's too much of a wimp to say that and is hoping the chat just fizzles out.

Or he could be keen and just lacking conversation skills I suppose!

No this is three messages in, the one message a day Cyberman.

When I get replies like that I just give it thumbs up. It's pitiful!

Dirty chat like that does nothing for me. I dont understand the men who do it (especially with strangers) as it is surely just indicating they are all about their own gratification and nothing else.

Why would anyone want to talk dirty to a stranger?! Yuck. Proper gives me the ick. Up there with d*ck pics. Ive yet to find any female who sees a picture of a penis and thinks "oooooo i must have you now" 😂

Low effort.
Next please!

Nosdacariad It leaves you to make all of the effort, doesn't it. I either send a smiley face (if I like them) or just delete the chat at that point, now.

I had that reply after a date once. I found it really hurtful at the time, as i'd reached out to him after the date to say that I'd had a good time & would like to do it again, & just had that in response. My mum said that by him sending that, it was my turn to suggest the next date & that by ignoring him, I played it wrong. I don't agree though.

You have a patient of a saint!

Surprising update on Mr. Poet. He very casually gave me a password to his phone. I was using it for something, it locked. I handed it over for him to unlock again which he did and then said "it's xxxx by the way". I didn't even clock what he was referring to at first 😆

I presume you’d asked him about his weekend or something to get that response ?

Surely the normal redone would be to then follow up elaborating then asking you a question back. Well that’s what I would do

@TwistedWonder yes, a normal person would do that 😁

@Catza bless Mr Poet!

Unfortunately finding someone who acts "normal" seems to be a big ask on the apps!

I have a very lovely long term single male friend who was getting down about his experience on the apps. As a friend this guy is funny, generous and sociable. I offered to have a look at his Tinder profile and got the following bio: "Two kids keep me busy on weekends but when I'm not with them my life is pretty boring". This was accompanied by two selfies of him looking very solemn in his living room.

I asked if he had any picture of him smiling/outside/not a bloody mugshot and he provided one photo of him holding a fish.

@Kaltenzahnthis is the problem. I genuinely only go on looks and a semi decent profile. I’m sure I’ve swiped left on the love of my life many times because the photos are so bad! Horrendous selfies/group shots and no smiles! I genuinely think men think a serious photo is good - it’s not!!!

I've just done an actual lol at this.

Hysterical 😅 at least he gave you something to work with!

Does anyone else ignore people who don't bother with a bio?

If there is nothing interesting in their pictures or prompts either, then yes