DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Hive mind - I have agreed day (Sunday) and activity with Mr Boulder but left place and time to him.
Would you ask about it, and how far in advance do you think he should share his plan?

I'd expect to hear by Friday evening or Saturday morning. I wouldn't chase before Saturday and, arguably, not at all. If he doesn't confirm anything with 24h notice, I'd just assume the date is not going ahead and plan something else myself. Missed the date this way with a bloke I agreed to have coffee with before things started progressing with Mr Poet. He checked in on Friday to see if we were still meeting on Sunday morning, I said yes and never heard from him again. Not followed up and don't consider it to be much of a loss. Stay strong 😅

I would expect him to check in at least a couple of days before the date to confirm the arrangements. Try not to step in and do it for him... he's come this far, he can do it!

Thanks @rubberduck68 @Catza so if I have not had his plan by Friday night all bets are off and no reminding?

Yes 100%. Plans require effort. See if hes willing to put some in

@Jokethecoalwoman crikey chick, raise those boundaries and expectations a little higher xxx
Granted, not everyone wants daily communication (baffles me but hey were all different) but if whatever effort level being offered you in these early stages doesnt work for you, theres no chance it will last the distance when familiarity sets in, your living together etc

I still firmly believe men want the prize, the chase, etc if they aren't making you feel wanted, valued, desired and you are confused and wondering about how they feel....you aren't the prize

14 months in and I still feel like the prize every single day. Love is one thing, and it truly is a wonderful feeling, but being chosen, every single day, in the good times, the sad times, the hormonal times, the tired times, unwaveringly and consistently so, is just something worth waiting for.

This guy isnt even choosing you now 😒 onwards and upwards hes just a roadblock getting in the way of what you truly need

@Jokethecoalwoman can you be our dating coach please?

@Nosdacariad I think you tagged the wrong person! I'm still sitting here with no message after a week and a half!

Thanks so much everyone, I really appreciate the honesty.

He's given me lots of reasons/excuses (or I've made excuses for him) mental health not great at the moment, he works nights, he wasn't looking for a relationship (I basically got a bit merry one night and told him I liked him....he was pretty happy) "not in a good place"....I get all that, I really do.

My life isn't a constant bed of roses but I can still message someone I like.

Yep. And arrange to meet a friend for lunch. If he resurfaces on Sunday say "nope, busy" so he learns to plan ahead next time.

@Nosdacariad he’ll probably confirm nearer the time, it’s frustrating waiting, but it’s only Tuesday. I’d be worrying and wanting a firm arrangement like you are, but sometimes people are more last minute.

Why would he not confirm, he’s on to a good thing with you @Nosdacariad xx

I bet he just won't mention it but continue messaging.

Backatcha 😘

Now MrX (actual ex) was told by me "don't contact me again" by email.

Since then he has sent NINE emails the latest in the wee small hours of this morning.

I cannot block on my email.

Would the constabulary be any help at all?

Did u mean me chick 😂

Happy to help you lovely ladies and be your cheerleader ☺️

If you knew my trauma from my long term relationship breakup youd be shocked.

Im a phoenix....risen from the ashes.... even have the tattoo to prove it 😂

What is he saying to you?

I think so 😁

The gist of it is blah blah give me access to you and feel sorry for me.

You can block on email. I had to do this with an ex who stalked me by every possible means. If you’ve got an iPhone go to the forward button on the email and scroll down to the block sender option. It goes into a different folder instead of your inbox. Can’t remember which one, could be deleted items.

I have some experience, PM me if you want 😊

New to this thread! Was in a relationship with mr mechanic, met him start Jan, got dumped last week because he “doesn’t trust anyone and can’t have a relationship”, basically was scared I’d leave him like everyone else did, so he left me first! Feeling really low, got attached too soon and had feelings for him… miss him. Wonder if he feels anything for me. Ugh I expected to be more ok than this!

Android. My email doesn't support it x

Sending love and welcome💐

Is it the loss of the hope rather than the man?

@Nosdacariad that's concerning, what time frame are the 9 emails over? Have you seen any other warning signs? Is the behaviour escalating?

If you do want to get the police involved this would constitute harassment. Keep the email thread (including the one of you telling him to leave you alone).

Over a couple of months.

I don't want him in trouble but I can't see another way of getting it to stop.

If I replied I'd be rewarding him.