DatingThread 55 - Spring has Sprung!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating -Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy
Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Well it looks like my relationship with guy on bumble may be on its way out so I’ll be back on the apps.

@TheThingOnTheIce @TwistedWonder I'm not sure which I'd prefer but someone told me I had Hattie Jakes vibes so maybe they're scared they'll get a bed bath😁

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain what went wrong, what have you learned and WELCOME 💐

Interesting strangers, your own personal hot estate agent, and a man who will come and help you with your house? What’s not to like about all of these! Enjoy them!

I was supposed to go date 3 with a nice but dull man this afternoon. Yesterday he texted me a string of messages about what to do which involved walks, sparkling water, tea or a museum. I genuinely couldn’t be bothered to straighten my hair and leave the house for that level of excitement and have kindly set him free. Even the nicer men don’t make much effort. Next!

Do tell!

Date with Mr. Soughdough last night was lovely. We just get on so well. He future referenced us doing something together that we both like, and said that he will call me over the weekend. Sex didn’t come up, just some lovely kissing at the end. Let’s see if he does call this time!

Ha… I hadn’t thought of it that way, but yes I guess I shouldn’t complain. It all just feels so complicated! Why can’t one of them just bloody well commit 😄

Lovely x

Ha. This date sounds right up my alley. I am planning a hike with Mr. Poet next weekend. We've already done museum and tea a couple of weeks ago 😅

@BoxOfCats it keeps life interesting as long as it doesn’t mess with your head too much. I’d love someone who could help me around the house!

@rubberduck68 that’s good about Sourdough. Fingers crossed that he calls.

Mr Sunshine cancelled so zero dates to look forward to now. Seriously wondering if there’s something wrong with me as I’ve been on the apps for a few months now but have only been on a handful of dates which didn’t develop into anything. It was the same last time I tried OLD.

I never get approached in the wild either, think I also give off the fuck off vibes!

I definitely give the fuck off vibes! Should probably work on that now I've given up on the apps.

@rubberduck68 so happy you've had some more lovely dates with Mr Sourdough! I thought he seemed like a good egg and was very disappointed when it looked like he had buggered off.

ha ha I have done museums before too maybe it is age...I find men in their fifties like these kind of dates (so do I) @Catza what age is your museum guy? Mine doesn't like hikes, cycling (not for me) but not hikes which is a shame as I quite like those.

I don’t and never have seen a walk as a date. I genuinely don’t get it.
If I’m making the effort to get ready and meet someone, then I want some sort of refreshment involved - preferably wine or cocktails.

Im not an outdoorsy sort of girl so any date that involves hiking, cycling, paddle boarding etc is my idea of hell. I’d be ok with a museum as long as there was a bar at the end

@Polly1979 if there's something wronh with you, it's wrong with me too.

Time to rename Mr Sunshine something less complimentary 🌧

Mr Boulder is keeping up consistent, interesting messages but has not identified place or hour yet x

Keep us posted, watching this with interest... men who can plan dates are the goal in my opinion, step back and let him show you what he's made of!

Can I join, I’ve been dabbling on apps for about 6 weeks and it’s been … interesting 😬

Mr Philosophy - was really nice and kind but just not for me. So we had a lovely date but left it there.

Mr Coffee - seemed to have been on a year of reflection before dating (good sign) but then invited me on the most awkward coffee date of all time. (We aren’t seeing eachother again, mutual choice)

The Biker - was the most promising and we dated for 4 weeks he did make effort in picking me up and arranging dates, but by the end of it while I knew a lot about him I’m pretty sure he only knew my name and then got where I lived wrong (it was someone else’s location he’d been chatting to on the apps) Communication between dates was hard work and when I raised it he said I was like his ex, he only mirrors what he gets, it was my fault he wasn’t being himself, he doesn’t compromise what he wants and ended it. 😳

The Younger one - is 8 years younger than me (37) and we’ve agreed FWB while we date other people but honestly he’s the most consistent with communication and I appreciate the honesty of our agreement as does he.

Other than that I can’t be bothered to chat to half these people and / or they are either too full on or waaaaay to backward in coming forward.

Is this the norm … or just me?

We are both 42 so it's not just for 50+ 😁

Totally get that, however, hear me out. Back in a day when I wasn't an outdoorsy girl myself, I would always meet a guy for a walk first. A pre-date, if you like. The walking route was carefully planned so that it wasn't too long and had a train station at the end of it. No getting ready, doing hair or wearing heels. The guy literally got the Sunday morning version of me with a dash of mascara. No alcohol involved meant that neither of us was too intoxicated to make an honest assessment of whether we actually wanted a second date. The train station is strategic. If you don't gel after 30-40 minute walk, you excuse yourself and catch a train home. If you do, there is usually a cafe, restaurant or bar so you can extend the date there and then.
You should try it, it is honestly the best thing I've ever done.

Absolutely the norm. In fact I’ve been on plenty of first dates in the last year, but only made it past 3 dates with two of them!

I’m not sure they are for me to be honest, already thinking of taking a break! Have you met anyone on there previously that’s worked out well?

Apart from my lovely ex partner whom I've known for years due to him being a client in the business I worked in, my dating history in the last 10 years was exclusively app-based. And I met some wonderful humans as well as plenty of odd balls. But I do also take frequent breaks.
Currently dating a chap from the app. Literally nothing to complain about. The previous guy was also from the app and we had brilliant six weeks together. Unfortunately, he self-destructed abruptly when his ex girlfriend got in touch but up until that point he was good as gold.
My previous long-term partner was also someone I found on Tinder. And while relationship ended in a really shit way when he hit mid life crisis, we've had a pretty happy four years together up until that point.

Betsy95 I think that they don't work for everybody, but they work for some. I personally now know of 2 (1 male, 1 female) people who met somebody online, stayed together & are now married.

They are definitely hard to get used to & you need to have a thick skin!
If you feel like you need a break then have a break, I've been off & on like a yo-yo

Thanks @Catza and @NervesOfCotton I think I just need to get used to them but will probably take a few weeks break before going back in fully again! Nice to know people have had good experiences on there though, I’m not one for ongoing casual arrangements, but have selected the “open to seeing where things go” option so as not to put heaps of pressure on things.

Am sure I will adapt eventually!

Hiya, can I join in?

I've been seeing a guy I've known for a year since January. But the communication from him is awful. He will ignore messages, not respond for a week etc. I have told him that it makes me feel as if he's not interested - he responded with "I don't respond to anyone!" I have seen him ignore messages from friends/family.
He's said he's not ready for an exclusive relationship....but that he isn't seeing anyone but me.
It's messed with my head a bit and knocked my self esteem which I hate to admit!
It's been over a week since I seen him....and no communication in that time.
When we're together we get on, have fun and he is lovely. But I'm thinking of giving up as it just feels like he's not bothered.